Posts Tagged ‘Lighthouse Customer’

The Lighthouse Customer: Robocraft

By Christopher Livingston on July 21st, 2014.

War never changes. It just rearranges.

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, building, driving, and flying robotic cube-tanks in the free-to-play Robocraft.

My robotank, Killdeathinator — named for all the killing and deathinating it’s been dishing out — has just entered its 5th iteration. Killdeathinator Mk 1 had four wheels, a couple guns, and was made of weak plastic cubes. Mk 2 added more wheels — ones I can steer, which I’ve found to be fairly important — and a radar dish to track enemies. Now, lined with gleaming copper armor and bristling with cannons, its become a fairly durable ground assault vehicle. Time to kick it up a notch. Killdeathinator wants to fly.

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The Lighthouse Customer: Unturned

By Christopher Livingston on July 14th, 2014.

Can you smell what the chefs are cooking?

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, surviving a few free-to-play DayZ days and Minecraft nights in Unturned.

Don’t let their looks fool you. Yes, the boxy zombies of Unturned are utterly adorable. On farms, they wear straw hats and overalls. In towns, they dress like chefs, construction workers, businessmen, and police officers. Creeping around a golf course in the middle of the night, I even spot one wearing a sweater vest and slacks. Adorable? Abso-cutely! Dangerous? Abso-deadly!
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The Lighthouse Customer: Bot Colony

By Christopher Livingston on July 7th, 2014.

Soldier robots? Oh, I'm sure that's a good idea.

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, speaking with robots, and the resulting loss of his sanity, in Bot Colony.

Science-fiction writers love driving robots crazy, from Speedy in Asimov’s “Runaround” to Ash attempting a magazine-murder in Alien. Is it time for a robot to drive a human crazy instead? Considering that talking to a robot in Bot Colony for a couple hours reduced me to wailing “BLOOP! BLOOP! BLOOP!” into my headset, it just might be. There’s video evidence below: I’ll let you be the judge. Bloop.

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The Lighthouse Customer: Starforge (Survival Mode)

By Christopher Livingston on June 30th, 2014.

Does this zit on my back look infected? It's super itchy.

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, pantsless survival and gimp mask crafting in Starforge.

The Earth’s sun is being devoured by a black hole, and humankind, desperate to survive, has sent scouts to the planet Atlas to prepare the mysterious new world for colonization. I am one of those scouts, the Earth’s last and best hope, which is a bit of a shame because I’ve been here for several days and I’m still wearing just the underpants I arrived in and I’ve been living in a hole in the ground. On the plus side… well… I dug the hole myself?

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The Lighthouse Customer – Lichdom: Battlemage

By Christopher Livingston on June 23rd, 2014.

I came here to cast spells and chew gum and I have plenty of both.

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, first-person spellcasting and spellcrafting with Lichdom: Battlemage.

As a battlemage, I am imbued with arcane might: deadly firestorms, freezing ice blasts, and crackling electrical bolts. I hold my magic-infused hands up in front of me in an awkward, unnatural fashion at all times, as if I’m a giant praying mantis or a Microsoft marketing executive presenting at E3. And, I wrestle with the same ancient dilemma all great sorcerers have faced, from Merlin to Dumbledore: do I want to use a Charging Smart Trap AOE Pattern with +17% chance of critical damage or stick with the Charging Targeted Pattern of Persistence with +14% status effect duration? As Gandalf said: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS NOW THAT I’VE GOT +28% BURN DAMAGE ON KILL FOR 9 SECONDS!”

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The Lighthouse Customer: GearCity

By Christopher Livingston on June 16th, 2014.

I call it the Volkswagen Coleoptera. Wait, that's not right.

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, driving a car company into the ground with GearCity.

“Have you ever dreamed of running your own car company?” asks the website of GearCity, a simulation game that lets you run your own car company. My answer: no, I’ve never dreamed of running my own car company, at least until GearCity’s website asked if I’ve ever dreamed of running my own car company. At which point I did. So, I decided to play GearCity to fulfil my minute-old dream. Of running my own car company.

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The Lighthouse Customer: The Forest

By Christopher Livingston on June 9th, 2014.

It takes a village to eat a child.

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, fighting savages while becoming one in survival-horror crafting game The Forest.

Interesting how priorities can change. Two days ago, my crafting goal was to build a log cabin. Today, I’m more interested in assembling a tower of human body parts. Of course, the day before yesterday — when I was a civilized, practical person pulling myself out of a plane wreck in The Forest — was a long time ago. Things have happened since then. Things. Now, I’m a wild-eyed, blood-spattered maniac, my body half-plastered with lizard skins, tightly gripping a rusty axe and slashing at anything that moves. On the plus side, I only need one more dismembered head to finish today’s crafting project! Whose will it be?
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The Lighthouse Customer: In Verbis Virtus

By Christopher Livingston on June 2nd, 2014.

ARE YOU READY TO YELL AT A VIDEO GAME?

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, yelling spells (and other things) in In Verbis Virtus.

I’ve been talking to a video game all day. It’s okay, I’m supposed to: the game requires me to cast spells by saying magic words into a microphone. I’ve found that having to talk to a game has resulted in me talking a lot in general, though. “Ah-ha!” I yell when finding something. “Nice try,” I say to a statue hiding a secret rune. “YEAH! TELEKINESIS!” I bellowed at one point. I was using telekinesis. It excited me. I won’t apologize.
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The Lighthouse Customer: King’s Bounty: Dark Side

By Christopher Livingston on May 26th, 2014.

SO MANY MONSTER THINGS HAPPENING AT ONCE YOU GUYS.

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, monster-based monster strategy (again!) with (even more!) monsters King’s Bounty: The Dark Side.

Last week I moaned about not being able to get monsters to work together to destroy humankind. I should have just waited for this week, when King’s Bounty: The Dark Side (or just Dark Side, depending on what you’re reading) gave me the monster team-up of my dreams. Zombies, demons, vampires, orcs, goblins, imps, three-headed dogs, skeletal archers, necromancers, and even dragons, all in the mix, and more importantly all working together for monsterkind.

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The Lighthouse Customer: Endless Legend

By Christopher Livingston on May 19th, 2014.

We're like velociraptors, but we all attack together from the front.

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, monster-based monster strategy with monsters in Endless Legend.

Crystalline giants march from the east, painted ogres advance from the south, and slithering snake-monsters, a two-headed jackal tribe, and hovering spectral warriors in tattered cloaks appear regularly outside my city. I’ve been battling monsters for hours, now, and I’m frustrated. Not by the combat itself, but by the nature of the enemy. I don’t want to kill monsters. I want to kill humans, because I’m a monster myself.
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The Lighthouse Customer: Caribbean!

By Christopher Livingston on May 12th, 2014.

I'm not going to suddenly wake up in a Ubisoft office, right?

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, sailing the low-res seas in sandbox RPG Caribbean!

I race across the open sea, bearing down on an English convoy. I have twice as many ships and nearly three times their crew, so this will be an easy kill, another feather in my tricorn hat. Or it would be, if my crew didn’t pick that precise moment to mutiny, seize control of one of my ships, turn and attack me instead of the English, board me, and pummel me into unconsciousness on my own deck. Pirates. If you can’t trust them, who can you trust?
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The Lighthouse Customer: The Golf Club

By Christopher Livingston on May 5th, 2014.

Grazing: the eco-friendly way to keep your greens well-groomed.

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, diabolical golf course creation in The Golf Club.

It’s been a tough round of golf. I got a ball stuck on the balcony of a clubhouse. I got mired down in a sand trap that was five hundred yards long. I’ve had to play around trees, boulders, and a fairway covered with sailboats. And now I’m attempting to sink a putt through a massive crowd of grazing deer. Who the hell designed this terrible golf course? Oh right, it was me.

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The Lighthouse Customer: The Age of Decadence

By Christopher Livingston on April 28th, 2014.

So you're saying you DON'T want to share your campfire?

Each Monday, Chris Livingston visits an early access game and reports back with stories about whatever he finds inside. This week, isometric turn-based RPG combat (and attempting to avoid it) in The Age of Decadence.

Imagine walking out of a store and discovering that not only have you been pickpocketed while shopping, but the expensive item you bought is actually a worthless trinket. When you complain to a city guard, he suspects you’re the real thief, and when a friendly citizen offers to help, you soon find yourself in an alley surrounded by armed thugs. You’ve been ripped off, robbed, accused, mislead, and stabbed to death, all in a single afternoon. Welcome to The Age of Decadence! A quote from the tutorial seems fitting: “Remember to save, you are going to die soon.”
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