Look, it’s the last day of term and we’re allowed to bring in whatever we want. Pip’s batting an avocado about, John’s cradling what appears to be a small hairless cat with opposable thumbs, Graham and Adam are kicking some kind of spherical egg between themselves, and me, I’ve brought in a video to watch. It’s about zombies and monsters and big guns and cool swords totally murdering zombies like schhhhing! in Killing Floor 2 and before you ask, yes, my mum did say it’s fine if I watch it okay.
So the men who make it are talking about the cool weapons and cool classes and stuff in the shooty shooty sequel which I hear will be out next year and I’m like UGH that’s so far away NINE DAYS! and that’s if they release it on January 1st which I bet they won’t ugh I just wanna shoot those zombies real bad or maybe sword them real good and look how cool that shotgun is it’s no surprise all the devs like it BLAM I mean maybe it’s a shame they think the coolest weapon is one from the original game but it was pretty cool so with all that new dismemberment and gore going on in KF2 I bet it’s even wilder BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM the autoshotgun holds so many shells and get this the medic guns have light-up bits that glow blue WHOA yeah that’s right they talk a lot about the glowing so it must be important NYOOOM! GLOWBEAMS ON! then you’re just stabbing the zombies with a glowscalpel like WHUH WHA SHKKK SHINNNG! “zombie heal thyself haha!!” whoa my juicebox is empty I gotta get more okay talk to you later bye