Look, it’s the last day of term and we’re allowed to bring in whatever we want. Pip’s batting an avocado about, John’s cradling what appears to be a small hairless cat with opposable thumbs, Graham and Adam are kicking some kind of spherical egg between themselves, and me, I’ve brought in a video to watch. It’s about zombies and monsters and big guns and cool swords totally murdering zombies like schhhhing! in Killing Floor 2 and before you ask, yes, my mum did say it’s fine if I watch it okay.
So the men who make it are talking about the cool weapons and cool classes and stuff in the shooty shooty sequel which I hear will be out next year and I’m like UGH that’s so far away NINE DAYS! and that’s if they release it on January 1st which I bet they won’t ugh I just wanna shoot those zombies real bad or maybe sword them real good and look how cool that shotgun is it’s no surprise all the devs like it BLAM I mean maybe it’s a shame they think the coolest weapon is one from the original game but it was pretty cool so with all that new dismemberment and gore going on in KF2 I bet it’s even wilder BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM the autoshotgun holds so many shells and get this the medic guns have light-up bits that glow blue WHOA yeah that’s right they talk a lot about the glowing so it must be important NYOOOM! GLOWBEAMS ON! then you’re just stabbing the zombies with a glowscalpel like WHUH WHA SHKKK SHINNNG! “zombie heal thyself haha!!” whoa my juicebox is empty I gotta get more okay talk to you later bye
23/12/2014 at 15:07 UppityTeapot says:
Okay, ‘fess up, who fed Alice sweets?
23/12/2014 at 19:30 LionsPhil says:
I think she’s got into the pixie sticks.
23/12/2014 at 15:10 Scumbag says:
DOSH
23/12/2014 at 17:01 Lord_Mordja says:
Mandatory:
23/12/2014 at 19:28 LionsPhil says:
Ruins the first game for me. I wish there were a dialogue volume slider so I could shut them up.
23/12/2014 at 15:23 agemyth says:
Hope they drop the over-the-top innuendo with the shop keep’s dialogue. But maybe people who play the game much more than I did liked that silly portion. It just made me feel kinda gross as every round ended :P
Because shooting and blowing up formerly human enemies into giblets wasn’t the gross part.
24/12/2014 at 01:50 AXAXAXAS MLO II: MLO HARDER says:
I wouldn’t mind a slutty shopkeeper if she was either well written or well acted (preferrably both, Tripwire? We all know you’re swimming in dosh). The way it was it looked like someone practising for their English 101 test by reading the graffitti in a bathroom stall.
24/12/2014 at 17:01 Comrade Roe says:
Looking at the number of no doubt expensive guns Gibson has (hint, at least a hundred), there’s no excuse.
23/12/2014 at 15:36 DarkFenix says:
I hope they take a step or three away from real weapons for KF2. The problem with real weapons is they all do the same thing, therefore some will be completely ignored because they’re flat out inferior.
And unless they’ve changed the game a fair bit, the ‘cool’ factor of 90% of the weapons is lost to the fact that you don’t really use them for anything more than careful single shots to pop enemy heads off. I can’t help but feel that the headshot hitbox has taken something away from the crazy end of FPS games.
23/12/2014 at 16:35 Synesthesia says:
I found out KF was a really boring game to play that way, minmaxing. I usually popped the useless pyro and had a blast, while everybody else had seriousbizness issues. Still very, very fun. These guys really know how to do good gunplay.
23/12/2014 at 17:51 SlimShanks says:
Erm… I believe the correct sound effect for an epic sword slash is SCHWIIIINNNG! SCHIING! is just weird, and also a bit lacking in excitement.
I wonder if Tripwire will ever make a game that doesn’t horrify me? You know, sometimes I have to eat and stuff… They are one of my favourite devs though. They made TWO excellent series. I hope they don’t over work themselves.
23/12/2014 at 17:57 aliksy says:
I had fun with the first one until I realized the perks system made it hard to play with friends. They have nothing while I have lots of damage reduction and increased move speed? Sure, that sounds fun for them.
23/12/2014 at 18:08 thedosbox says:
John’s cradling what appears to be a small hairless cat with opposable thumbs,
Bravo! Bravo!
23/12/2014 at 19:09 Cross says:
Now if only they had a decent soundtrack. It is pretty much the only game i can think of that has heavy metal for its soundtrack, and for good reason: It sucks.
23/12/2014 at 23:32 Creeping Death says:
er…. wut? Not play many FPS games in the 90s/early 00s? Heavy metal was kinda the de facto soundtrack for the genre.
24/12/2014 at 10:59 socrate says:
WHAT!??oh my i hope you are 12…FPS that created and forged this genre all had metal in it for some wierd reason or some spacey soundtrack…FFS these new gamer show that there is just no hope
Hell just thinking a little bit about it you discover tons of game have metal in it warcraft have all fantasy music then BAM totally out of place metal music pretty much all old game started putting metal in their game when they were able to put high quality sound file…classic/theatrical is also and is still one of the most used form of game music these days
Anyway about the game itself i never ever got into Killing floor and never got why people would play this….played open weekend and a free pass and just couldn’t see at all the attraction that the game had…it is a dull shooter with duller enemy…they did took some few old gun from other old game to make it interesting in this one but quite frankly its not what will make me buy it…even if they add these wierd old vintage FPS weapon in the game
24/12/2014 at 23:15 Phasma Felis says:
Haven’t played many video games, then?
At least you didn’t confuse metal with dubstep. There’s a large contingent of RPSers that think anything heavier than Kenny G must be dubstep.