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Brendan Caldwell

3 days ago

Fish tycoon Megaquarium splashes out in September

Why did the fish stop arguing with the barnacle? Because she didn’t like to coral. Why did the shark always consult his horoscope? He was the terror of the Pisces. Why was the shipwreck annoyed with its partner? It had crabs. Okay so Megaquarium is a fishkeeping tycoon game from the makers of Big Pharma and it’s coming out on September 13.

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4 days ago

Stardew Valley mod lets you play multiplayer without host (kind of)

Stardew Valley’s mutliplayer launched a couple of weeks ago, letting farm owners roll around in the dirt with up to three pals. But the landowning “host” player must be present if friends are to plant tomatoes, and that head player also has the final say over decisions such as when you all go to bed. Landlords, eh? But what’s this? It’s a handy mod that…

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6 days ago

Europa Universalis IV: Dharma expansion scornfully insults you in September

“Don’t you go to Goa,” a wise band once sang. Well, eat my dust, Alabama 3. I’ll go wherever I please, up to and including Goa. But fair enough, I can’t afford the airplane ticket. I’ll have to just play strategy game Europa Universalis IV’s upcoming Dharma expansion, which is reworking the Indian provinces on September 6. It’s adding ruthless European charter companies to the…

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7 days ago

1 week ago

Be a Frog Detective because that’s neat

Hello, it’s Monday. Would you like to leave it all behind and become an inspector who solves crimes but is also a frog? Yeah, me too. As luck would have it, The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game will let you realise this desire. It’s about a frog with a brown jumper and a magnifying glass coming to a spooky island to investigate strange noises.…

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2 weeks ago

Feature: What a handsome rogue

Dead Cells review

Dead Cells gets into your nervous system like a wonderful toxin. If it wasn’t so fast-paced, you could almost feel the electro-chemical effects pulsing through your body, from hand to eye to screen to brain, as your panicked flurry of knife strikes eviscerates another sewer worm. The game began as a “roguevania”, and it was strong even in its early days. But the final version…

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Doomsday lasers light up the galaxy in Eve’s most destructive battle in four years

The galactic war of Eve Online chunders on. A massive battle on Wednesday ended in the destruction of over 50 Titans, the game’s biggest, most expensive warships. The laser-laden space ruckus occurred when a huge fleet of ships appeared close to a Keepstar (a giant and powerful space station) prompting defenders of the space station to scramble their pilots and brace themselves for an assault.…

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PSA: Absolver gets a free weekend

Hiiii-YAH. That was me kicking you in the nose. If you want revenge on behalf of your face, come and fight me in Absolver, the martial arts slap ‘em up. It’s got a free weekend on Steam now and its crumbling world is worth wandering through if you like the following things: Halloween masks, fashionable scarves, statues, crystals, stones arranged in a nice cairn, pretending…

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3 weeks ago

Chasm crawls out of the depths and onto Steam

Chasm is that dungeon 'sploring action-adventure game set in a Metroidvanian mining town where all the civvies keep disappearing, dragged into the depths by bad things. You play as a knight who is investigating this unsettling trend, descending into the caverns and catacombs to see what’s up. It first dug itself in on Kickstarter in 2013 but it’s finally finished and has crawled out of…

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Origin stops giving away games ‘on the house’

EA’s program of randomly giving away games like Mass Effect 2 and Theme Hospital has ended, says the publisher. If you remember, the orange-faced cyber shop had an “On The House” program that would make a particular game free to download for a limited time. Dead Space was thrown out as a freebie, for instance, and so was Peggle, along with a good truckful more.…

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No Man’s Sky pilot offers 200 million spacebucks for ‘missing’ ship

A pilot in planet-hopping space sim No Man’s Sky is offering a big reward to the first person who finds a specific ship and sends them the co-ordinates. The reward is 200 million units for a ship that looks like this, according to a bounty posted on Reddit by player "Avaslash". There’s also a “possible bonus” of 20 million spacequid if it has the exact…

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Feature: "Sorry sir, I lost the suspicious bald man with the barcode on his neck in that crowd of five people"

Hitman 2’s crowd-skulking is quiet but effective

The man who kills bad guitarists is back. Hitman 2 looks mostly to be polishing the first game’s bald head, which makes sense when you think of it as the stand-in for a 2nd season that never happened. As a sequel, it doesn’t appear to be changing much, apart from giving assassins a bunch of new murder playgrounds in which to plot against wealthy charlatans.…

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4 weeks ago

Clickuorice Allsorts: Getting mugged in For Honor

UBISOFT: Soldiers! For Honor is not a game. It is a quest for medieval prowess. You will spend hours honing your swordsmanship, weeks sharpening your wits. Only the most ferocious survive in this ahistorical spike pit of combat, a land torn asunder, soaked in flame and dread and ash. You will train for months, tempering yourself in this sharp-edged gauntlet. You will dodge, limp, parry…

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Pixel Game Maker MV scoots into early access

It “scoots” because that's a motorbike, see? Anyway, yes, Pixel Game Maker MV is a game-making tool from the folks that created RPG Maker. It’s designed to let game tinkerers make side-scrolling and top-down games without using programming language. The jangling toolbox was announced in May but it's out in early access now, featuring two sample games (a Kikstart clone and a platformer about a…

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Hundreds of pilots trapped by space scumbags in Eve Online’s latest galactic war

“If your enemy logs off, make sure they can’t log on.” - Sun Tzu, ancient Chinese general and fan of Eve Online. Yes, the space warfare MMO is once again full of exploding spaceships thanks to a new war between two large blocs of corporate murder fans. It’s as convoluted as any other conflict in this game of moneymaking and military skulduggery, but basically: a…

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1 month ago

Feature: Get the firearms out

The cramped horror of GTFO hopes to bond people

The monsters are sleeping. They stand around in dark corners, obscured by a thick dust that hangs in the air. Our squad creeps through the doorway, crouching and tense and heavily armed. Then: a single gunshot. The monsters are awake. They scream, they run at us, they flail and strike with fleshy, twisted limbs, and call out for more of their brothers (sisters?) who come…

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Absolver gets new mode and fighting style in September

Dust off your fashionable frog mask, fabsolvers. Martial arts biff-em-up Absolver is getting a new dungeon-diving mode and a fifth fighting style modeled after Bruce Lee's twitchy fists and kicky feet. We knew this free expansion was on the way but now we know it's due out some day in September. And there are other details about what you'll be punching in the new ‘Downfall'…

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King Tide is underwater battle royale with sharks

Hello, thalassophobes. King Tide is an upcoming battle royale about being launched into the ocean via torpedo, along with 99 other divers and going on a rampage while defending yourself from bloodthirsty sharks. Got it? Got it. It’s by the studio who made Depth, the multiplayer shooter of shark vs humanity. So, they were always well-placed to come up with “Plunkbat but subaquatic”. Sub-bat? Shark…

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