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Nate Crowley

Today

Feature: ♪ Do-dee-do-dee-doo, Instructor Fireheart ♪

The 5 most fun decks in Hearthstone’s Scholomance Academy expansion

Colourful Blizzard card battler Hearthstone is now a week into its new expansion, Scholomance Academy, whose theme appears to be "Harry Potter, but there are orcs as well". As ever, the injection of a bunch of new cards into the game has shaken up the meta, and there's the usual frenzy of analysis going on to determine which classes and archetypes are going to be…

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1 day ago

Feature: Achilles' feels

A Total War Saga: Troy review

Let's pretend there was no such thing as the Total War series of games. Let's pretend A Total War Saga: Troy was just called Super Iliad Guys - which it should be called anyway - but had otherwise come out of the blue exactly as it is. In this mythical world, I would be completely blown away by Super Iliad Guys, with its astonishing two-for-one…

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3 days ago

Feature: He's going through a lot right now

I Am Dead is a puzzle game about a ghost who can look inside fruit

"If you're a ghost, and you walk through a wall..." asks Richard Hogg, in the tone of a man confronted with a real head-scratcher, "...do you get to see the inside of the wall?"It's a good question. The kind which, for most people, might fuel a good half hour in a pub, or a 2am chat with a partner who can't sleep. But for Hogg…

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1 week ago

Feature: Battering an iron ostrich to pieces never felt so good

Horizon Zero Dawn PC review

If you've read anything I've had to say about Horizon Zero Dawn to date - and I've eulogised it twice already - the tone of this review shouldn't come as a surprise. I knew the PC port would have to be either unplayable, or introduce an inexplicable wisecracking pelican as Aloy's sidekick, to change my opinion of what's probably my favourite ever action game. And…

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Feature: Dog eggs

Have You Played… ARK: Survival Evolved?

I had a mate at university who got home pissed at 2am and decided to boil himself an egg. Great idea at the time. But he passed out on the floor, the saucepan boiled dry, and the egg began to combust. When my mate woke up, it was because his whole building was being evacuated because of the billows of rancid egg smoke from his…

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2 weeks ago

Feature: The Quantum Of Sausage

I visited Minecraft’s infinite dimensions and all I got was this lousy rainbow hyperscape

A lot of people, quite reasonably, didn't pay much attention to April Fool's Day this year. I certainly didn't, so I only vaguely noticed Mojang announcing a Minecraft update that would give the game infinite, Enter-The-Spiderverse-Style dimensions to explore. It was cute, I figured, but not really the most convincing fake announcement. Alas, though, it turns out I was the April Fool all along: not…

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Feature: Kraken open a cold one with the boys

Have You Played… Sea Of Thieves?

I want to like Sea Of Thieves so badly that I've convinced myself I do like it, even though deep inside I find it quite dull to play. I don't understand why I find it dull. The premise is superb, it looks great, and I know lots of folks who routinely have the time of their lives being weird, balloon-bodied pirates. I just can't seem…

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3 weeks ago

Feature: World of tanks

Have You Played… Megaquarium?

Look, we've not got time for life histories here. If you've read anything of mine on this site or elsewhere, you'll know full well I really like, y'know, fish and that. Sea Geezers. Damp Daniels. The Wet Squad. Call them what you will, I'm into them. I subscribe to Practical Fishkeeping magazine. My office at home has ten fish tanks in it. If you weren't…

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Feature: The biggest of moods

I’m sorry, I’m obsessed with the Halo Infinite crisis gorilla

Escharum has set a fire in my heart. There were plenty of titbits to be gleaned from last night's Halo Infinite campaign footage, but the star of the show for me was the incredibly aggravated gorilla who came out of nowhere to deliver a passionate monologue to camera, right at the end. Admittedly, this sounds exactly like something I would invent in a joke post…

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Feature: I'LL DESTROY YOU AT WRESTLEMANIA

Halo Infinite’s reveal ended with a gorilla losing its mind on camera

So, as of this evening's Xbox Games Showcase, we've finally seen footage of Halo Infinite, and it looks good! There was indeed a grappling hook, more mobility in general from the Chief (he can climb on boxes now!), and a couple of new guns. There was also some classic Warthog action, some dependably stirring music, and a couple of genuinely sublime moments of looking-out-across-a-halo-at-sunset beauty.…

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Feature: Also I think I met the devil.

How I nearly died on Minecraft’s title screen

As you may have seen already, the hillside lake shown on Minecraft's old title screen, which rotated slowly and blurrily between 2011 and 2018, has been located at last. The discovery of the world's seed is a whole story in itself, about how a group of people managed to deduce a single location from among the 18,446,744,073,709,551,616 worlds possible in Minecraft. That's about as many…

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Feature: The face that sold a thousand units of stone

I sold loads of rocks during A Total War Saga: Troy’s campaign

If you see the name "Menelaus" and find yourself scratching your head over how to pronounce it, then have no fear: play any more than eight seconds of A Total War Saga: Troy, and you will never forget. That's because the extremely bellowy king of Sparta can't seem to take a breath without hollering his own name on the exhalation. He's like an incredibly angry…

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4 weeks ago

Feature: Crab Siu Mai

Have You Played… Emperor: Rise Of The Middle Kingdom?

I'm always going on about Pharaoh, the Impressions city builder from 1999 that's lodged itself in my psyche like a toy soldier in an alsatian's paw. And every time I mention how good it is, some forlorn soul in the comments mentions Emperor: Rise Of The Middle Kingdom, it's successor-but-one (after Zeus: Master of Olympus) from 2002, as being better. And you know what? They're…

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Feature: Statham, Lansbury, Elba, Rudd and Lizzo reveal their secrets

Henry Cavill’s good, but he’s got nothing on these five celebrity PC builds

Lovable television strongman Henry Cavill overclocked hearts around the world when he documented his latest PC build on Instagram this week, reminding us all once again that even Hollywood A-listers with inhuman physiques can turn out to be giant, lovable nerds on the inside. But as it transpires, Cavill isn't the only one in Tinseltown who knows their way around these inscrutable, whirring machines we…

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1 month ago

Feature: A nice, refreshing pint of Halo.

Halo 3 made me realise there’s only really one Halo game, and it’s all of them

The PC remaster of Halo 3 is another beautiful, robust polish job that shows just how well Bungie’s bombastic shooter series has aged. I recommend it heartily. Yes, it’s marred with some baffling narrative choices, bungled ally AI, and a few instances of phoned-in level design, of course. But then, in the immortal words of that astronaut meme, “always has been”. And at this point,…

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Feature: Behold!

Horizon Zero Dawn’s world is beautifully borked – and I can’t wait to revisit it on PC

There's just four weeks to go now until Horizon Zero Dawn does a massive electric roar and charges towards us through our PC screens, and as RPS' resident HZD obsessive, I'm excited. And to my own surprise, possibly the thing I'm most excited about is the chance to just drink in the look of the game again. In fact, no. I don't want to drink…

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Feature: Someone guffed in the soup

Have You Played… Project Winter?

I really like Project Winter, at least in theory. It's a classic hidden role multiplayer affair, where you're ostensibly Doing A Survival: there's a bunch of you stuck somewhere arctic, trying not to freeze or starve in a log cabin while also accomplishing tasks like repairing radio transmitters, with the eventual aim of summoning an escape helicopter. But as Matt put it in a recent…

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Feature: A salute to Brutes.

Minecraft’s new Piglin Brute mob is a solid 8/10 brute

I appreciate a good brute. I like the word itself, apart from anything else. It just sort of falls out of your mouth like a lead ball, that'll probably break your toe when it lands. It's a dim, mean-spirited word, like "fruit", but too preoccupied with simplistic violence to know how to spell itself. "Brute" has the same sort of mouthfeel as "dunce", "thud", "trudge"…

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Feature: The "P" is silent

Have You Played… Ptarmigeddon?

You have probably not played Ptarmigeddon. I mean, I can promise you upfront it does exist. It was a VR game from 2017, where you played as Wayne Discipline, a CIA agent embedded with Afghan Guerillas during the proxy war against the Soviets in the 80s. As a Russian force advances on the pass he's stationed in, Wayne curses the poor equipment available to his…

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