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Posts tagged “wot i think”

Feature: Be a weapon

Hitman 2 review

As you sneak through an underground tunnel that you’ve just discovered, taking out cameras and hiding dead bodies that should just be unconscious (but you’re bad at this), it’s easy to forget how clever Hitman 2 is. Discovery begets invention, paving the way for the kill, and although IO’s latest take on their murder-sim doesn’t veer too far from the previous game's reinvention, it spends…

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Feature: Dream Machine

Football Manager 2019 review

For those without much free time or a pre-existing, intimate understanding of its framework, understanding Football Manager’s enormous locker room of riches has been a problem. You might be the most eager wannabe digital gaffer of all time, but if you can’t digest the tools required to motivate players, scout new ones and combine their skills on the pitch, then your only legacy will be…

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Feature: Do not answer

Call of Cthulhu review

I played the first three hours of Call of Cthulhu, and in my unconventional preview after the fact I said that I liked exploring the docks and talking to grizzled locals and detectoring my way through problems. At the end of the preview you reach the bit where you find the cult, and you totally know what’s up, but your character Edward Pierce has no…

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Feature: Funky fresh beats

Lethal League Blaze review

Lethal League Blaze is a springy, frenetic future-sport played by an underground league of robots, skaters, mercenaries and a sentient boombox. Imagine baseball, but then strip away all the parts that don’t involve whacking a ball, replacing them with violent duels between two to four brawlers. In these duels, the baseball is the sole weapon. That might be underselling it. The ball is a relentless,…

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Feature: Very Paw Indeed

Wot Toby & I Think: Paw Patrol – On A Roll

I am perhaps not the world's biggest fan of Paw Patrol. I think it's fair to say I hate it with a fiery passion burning like the sun. My son, one week away from turning 4, likes it a fair amount. Not his favourite - it's no Octonauts or Wild Kratts - but enough that I put him to bed in Paw Patrol pyjamas. Our…

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Feature: Foalcalibur

Soulcalibur VI review

This is Hooves. He loves to stab and parry and slash and speak in an alien tongue about how good he is at all of those things. Hooves also enjoys setting folks on fire, and paralysing people with frightening runes, which has led some observers (me) to dub him “Horse Geralt” after the hero of The Witcher 3. Unbeknownst to Hooves, he is a clone…

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Feature: Blop till you drop

Call Of Duty: Black Ops 4 review

CODBLOPS: *snarls* Person: I’d... I’d like to shoot some people, please. CODBLOPS: *spits* HOW? HOW would you like to shoot people? Person: Well PUBG: *coughs* Person: Um CSGO: *also coughs* Person: Overwatch: Hi! Call Of Duty: Black Ops 4 reminds of an ugly, angry man who’s trying to sell me guns. It’s not that I don’t want to buy those guns, I just wish the…

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Feature: Injustice League

Lego DC Super-Villains review

Right, quick version: Lego DC Super-Villains is another franchised Lego game, and if you've played any they've made since around 2013, you already know everything you need to know about it. Open city (Gotham and Metropolis to start) mixed with missions, eighty billion characters, nine hundred trillion collectables, lots of silly cutscenes, tons of bugs, abysmal vehicle controls, and enough to do to keep you,…

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Feature: They finally Gwent and did it

Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales review

Thronebreaker has been taking me for a ride. Fighting monsters and blackclad horsemen in this card-game-sorta-RPG is a bit like being on a bumpy mine cart. You’re going up and down and swiping lots of gold along the way, the ride is smooth then boring then exciting then dull. Sometimes it could use a diesel engine. Or something more environmentally friendly? I don’t know, this…

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Feature: Welcome to the story farm, we grow disaster

RimWorld review

RimWorld is a game of perfect catastrophe. Not simply a homage to Dwarf Fortress, or a skin graft of Prison Architect, it has spent five years of early access becoming its own simulation of farce, hopefulness and inevitable disaster. Today, it's finally "done". It starts as an opaque management game about the marooned survivors of a sci-fi shipwreck. But it quickly harnesses the darkness and…

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Feature: Sloth Marines

Space Hulk: Tactics review

In the last five years alone, there have been four video game adaptations of the Warhammer 40,000 spin-off, Space Hulk. Plenty of chances to get it right, you’d think, though the first three attempts suggest otherwise. And here comes Space Hulk: Tactics, once again throwing gruesome Genestealers against stompy Terminators in derelict spaceship corridors. It’s not quite a combo-breaker, but it gets very close.

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Feature: Murder History

The Hex review

Pony Island was one of my favourite games of 2016, a Trojan horse of astoundingly clever ideas and arch critique, and incredibly funny. So clearly I was interested to see where developer Daniel Mullins went next. I'm very delighted to report it's the extraordinary The Hex. A game that defies me to tell you anything about it, not that I'm convinced you'd believe me if…

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Feature: Fish friends

Megaquarium review

Megaquarium's off-screen fish scientists had just unlocked some eels, and they seemed like just what my aquarium needed to draw in the big crowds. Sure, I had some guests, seduced by the promise of clean floors, well-stocked vending machines and at least three types of fish, but I lacked the kind of big-ticket item that put aquariums on the map. So excited was I to…

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Feature: It's all Greek to me

Assassin’s Creed Odyssey review

This review was updated on October 22, after Alice finished the game. The original went live on October 5. There's a new paragraph about micro-transactions in there, and a Minotaur pun. Go wild. I have finished my odyssey. Which is to say, I haven’t cleared every all filler no killer question mark on the map, but for all intents and purposes I’ve completed Assassin’s Creed…

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Feature: A stick on the moon

Deliver Us The Moon: Fortuna review

Oh, endings. Wouldn't life be better without them? It would certainly last longer. And it would make a lot of games an awful lot better. I absolutely thoroughly enjoyed Deliver Us The Moon, right up until the moment it ended. Now I want to find the developers and kick them all in the shins. But how much does that matter? Here's wot I think:

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Feature: Derelicte

Deep Sky Derelicts is a deck-building strategic game for those scared of such things

I'm really not one for deck building games. I think it's primarily a matter of constantly feeling like I'm doing something wrong, always certain I should have a better selection of cards, that if I'd made a different choice I'd be having another experience... it's an anxiety-inducing way to play anything. So clearly I was unsure starting Deep Sky Derelicts, despite liking the sound of…

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Feature: Memorable

Path to Mnemosyne review

As a collection of puzzles Path To Mnemosyne is a peculiar conflation of ingenious and over-familiar, as well as having a name you'll never remember when you want to find it on Steam later. As a small vignette, it looks beautiful (if slightly held back by clunky controls) offering smart puzzling ideas, in between some of the most hackneyed puzzles you can think of. I…

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Feature: Just like old times

The Gardens Between review

The Gardens Between is all about reminiscing. It plays like two friends talking about all the adventures they've had, with the conversation flowing as they remember details and go back over stories that’ve grown with the telling. “Do you remember...?” it seems to say. “Oh yes, but before that-!” “And of course there was the bit where-!” This is not a feeling that comes from…

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Feature: Not Messi

FIFA 19 review

For a series that’s been running for over 20 years, it’s no minor statement to say that the latest iteration has brought back the fun. You already know how enormous the series is, you are likely aware of how much it’s become “Sky Sports Presents FIFA” over the years, and you certainly know how much of a heaving beast it is in terms of #content.…

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Feature: Ice ice, baby

Frozen Synapse 2 review

Frozen Synapse 2’s campaign puts you in charge of a security force in a sprawling, cyberpunk metropolis where a rogue AI threatens the safety of the populace. It also lets you choose your character’s name, honorific, and organisation. So, naturally, it was time for Grand Moff Godzilla Johnson to lead the CyberBois to victory. This is, of course, the sequel to 2011's Frozen Synapse. Through…

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