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Posts tagged “wot i think”

Feature: Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Nuts review

In Nuts, you are a recent graduate who has been sent out into the woods to research squirrels. But the squirrels, needless to say, are not as they seem. Getting to the root of this forestry mystery involves putting down remote cameras during the day, and then reviewing the footage in your caravan by night, to see what the little fellows get up to after…

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Feature: "The name's Seven... Forty Seven"

Hitman 3 review

You know what you're getting into. The empathy-void assassin of the Hitman trilogy is an anti-Santa who only has a "naughty" list and never a "nice" one. He visits the rich and powerful once every couple of years, to shove lumps of coal down their throat because they've been selling AK-47s to babies. Here he is again in the final instalment of the most recent…

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Feature: A big, beautiful and broken mess

Cyberpunk 2077 review

I was in an NPC's car as she drove us across Night City when a thought occurred to me. We were driving at night to perform a risky stealth mission, which required me to break into a compound filled with military security so we could, to put it briefly, hack the planet. On the drive, two cars spawned out of thin air in front of…

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Feature: Ulfric Dangerous

Unto The End review

Unto The End is a 2D sword fighting game about a little beardy man trying to find his way back home after getting lost hunting a deer. You'll guide him through gloomy, cramped caves, climbing and exploring and gathering scraps of leather, bone, and healing herbs. And you'll fight. Lord, you'll fight.It's very much a game about sword fights, but rather than a hack and…

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Feature: Soulsnolikey

Chronos: Before The Ashes review

I think Chronos: Before The Ashes is very much okay. It's a prequel to looter shooter Remnant: From The Ashes, but it trades gun-toting, chest-pillaging action for a soulslike experience so grey, I swear my pulse flatlined a few times.It was also previously an Oculus VR exclusive, so the version I played is a port. It’s a shame it’s not one that adapts the game…

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Feature: Stoning the romance

Haven review

You’re supposed to put the genre in the introduction, but then you’re also supposed to write an introduction in the first place, and not a load of delaying tactics where you bang on about the vagueness of genres and how Haven is a hybrid of at least two of them anyway. You spend most of it skate-gliding around a 3D world, some of it fighting…

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Feature: Breath Of The Child

Immortals Fenyx Rising review

Immortals Fenyx Rising is the sort of name that you assume has a colon in it, even though it doesn't. Apparently Ubi's family-friendly mythical action-adventure had to change its name from Gods & Monsters after a challenge from Monster Energy, which is fair enough. After all, how many times have you tried to pour a refreshing energy drink into your mouth, only to discover you…

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Feature: Buggy Malone

Empire Of Sin review

Welcome to Chicago in the 1920s; the last known time that fedoras were actually cool. The city is dry, thanks to prohibition, but there’s a rich underworld of gangsters ready to sell you dodgy spirits on the sly. Amid the cigar smoke and whisky-breath, notorious criminals go to war over every street and every establishment. Speakeasies, casinos, and brothels are the money-makers of the moment.…

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Feature: A solid start

Call Of Duty: Black Ops Cold War multiplayer review

It’s that time again where we spin 180 degrees away from Infinity Ward, turn to Treyarch, and see what type of Call Of Duty they’ll slide into our hands. I expected to say “Oh titanic megacorporation, thank you so much for the shooty bang bang”, while stifling a massive yawn, but honestly, I’m buzzed off Call Of Duty: Black Ops Cold War’s multiplayer offerings. It’s…

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Feature: Catch you on the flip side

Across The Grooves review

In one of its possible scenes, a side character in Across The Grooves describes a concept. One of those ineffably existential sensations that it feels almost sacriligious to discuss aloud.There are moments, he says (and he doesn't put this forward as his own observation, but an ancient one independently noted by many others throughout history, across many cultures). There are moments of choice. Of course,…

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Feature: I’m an avianator!

The Falconeer review

A bit of imagination can go a long way. Shooty games about wandering a somewhat living area of outer space doing odd jobs in between a chain of story missions are their own subgenre, to the point where even the good ones can blur together. There are only so many laser cannons and thrusters and made-up space minerals I can keep track of, y’know?The Falconeer…

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Feature: Implausible deniability

Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War singleplayer review

Heads up, your yearly package of guns and gimmickry has been incoming ever since we discovered its name from that most reliable of informants: a Doritos packet. As ever, Call Of Duty: Black Ops Cold War will see you wordlessly slaying any number of Iranians, Turks, Vietnamese, Russians, Germans, Cubans, all in the name of Uncle Sam and, this time, under the approving, wrinkled eyes…

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Feature: We're talkin' about 'em, alright.

Bugsnax review

Animals are delicious. Trotting all around the place on their powerful, edible legs, tumbling head over hooves into industrial mincers and having their bodies, minds and souls mechanically reformed into millions upon billions of tasty, pink breakfast tubes. This magical sense of gastronomic abundance — the unshakeable belief that every creature that scoots, slithers and sails on the wind is simply tracing an inevitable path…

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Feature: For better or for Norse

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla review

Assassin's Creed Valhalla starts in Norway, spends most of its time in 9th century England, and even has some optional detours to the present day or mythical Asgard if you fancy it. But the latest entry in Ubisoft's used-to-be-annual franchise about stabbing your way through history just kept making me think of Texas, for two reasons. The first, and most obvious, is Texas as in…

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Feature: New dragon, new quest, still great

Yakuza: Like A Dragon review

Yakuza: Like A Dragon is a big stretch. Not in a “you’ve taken it too far, buddy” sort of way, I mean I can quite literally feel the click of Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio’s bones as they extend their arms to the sky and heave their collective sighs of satisfaction - finally, a fresh start.They’ve taken this opportunity to strip all the best bits from…

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Feature: Homes under the hammer

Teardown review: a glorious crime caper about smashing open buildings like chocolate eggs

The shortest point between two points is a straight line. "As the crow flies," they say. But in Teardown, I can't fly. Instead, I am more like a worm. I eat my way forward, creating straight lines of travel by smashing, crashing, and bombing through warehouses and mansions. I will emerge from one building then dive through a self-made entrance into another - and I…

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Feature: Witch do you prefer?

Little Hope review

Little Hope is the second game in The Dark Pictures Anthology, a series of interactive horror games trying to build on the popularity of 2015's Until Dawn. In it, you play as a college field trip group (three teenage students, one mature, and a professor, and I bet some of you already have that in your search history). After a mysterious bus crash, the group…

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Feature: Hackneyed

Watch Dogs Legion review

Diane Ganguly is a totally ordinary Londoner; one of the nine million NPCs who put the “Legion” in Watch Dogs Legion, since they can all be recruited and made playable. She’s a talent agent in her early thirties, with a pet owl, an anti-immigration voting record, and a history of going to furry conventions. As I said, totally ordinary. Until now, that is. Underground hacker…

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Feature: Scourgebring it on

ScourgeBringer review

Comparisons to Dead Cells might come easily, but platforming slash 'n' dash ScourgeBringer feels less like a modernised Castlevania and more like an answer to the question: “What if Samurai Gunn had a single player story mode?” This is a question that nobody, save the developers of this gun-toting room clearer, seems to have asked. We should be ashamed of ourselves.

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Feature: Wot I thi-(dies)

Ghostrunner review

Elite cyber ninja? I died 1423 times in Ghostrunner. Over a seven hour campaign that roughly works out at three deaths a minute. That’s the kind of toll even today’s shower of political leaders would struggle to shrug off. A body count so vast I wonder if I ever actually understood Ghostrunner or simply fluked through. In the same way that I passed my driving…

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