By Quintin Smith on October 25th, 2010 at 9:20 am.

Last we saw of Two Worlds II, developers Southpeak were cheerily mocking the first game in a series of videos. Evidently with the game’s Jan 2011 release date coming up, the time for such jokes is OVER.
The trailer below shows a FEROCIOUS BATTLE between HUMANS (I think?) and NOT-ORCS. The bloody fight takes place at the coast next to OSWAROTH, a city next to the DRA’KAR DESERT. There is an AXE. There is PAIN. There is a BIRD, who may or may not be the NARRATOR. Have you had breakfast yet? Did you sleep well? Because if not, you might just LOSE CONTROL and POP A BONER.


Its clearly a battle humans against steroid elves. This is no rendersequenz its ingame grafic.
Have a nice day
report
sadly that’s clearly CG, not ingame stuff
report
I hope they don’t shoot themselves in the foot after all that self-depreciation.
report
Also, why does this have an uncanny resemblance to the LOTR movies’ battle of Dagorlad?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9lcJJuHPEs#t=1m10s
report
@Brumisator
I thought the exact same thing as I was watching it. Can these guys create anything even remotely original?
report
These MMO trailers are quite sad actually as they don’t represent the gameplay at all.
report
Two Worlds is a single-player RPG with multiplayer support, dude.
(Although the video’s still not representative of the game.)
report
“These RPG trailers are quite sad actually as they don’t represent the gameplay at all.”
There, fixed it for you, and still just as true, unfortunately.
report
I agree, ‘LOSE CONTROL and POP A BONER’ is a much better line than ‘PEE YOURSELF’.
As in it was more accurate.
report
But what I want is…. THREE WORLDS 3
report
nice.
report
Wonder if the melee combat is still atrocious in this one.
report
What kind of bird is that?
report
The talking kind!
report
A seagull. No- a wargull!
report
If you’ve ever been around seagulls when they have chicks, ‘wargull’ becomes a most fitting name.
I live by the sea, where lots of seagulls nest, unfortunately. The wargulls have become so annyoing that the city has ordered them to be culled. I just wish they would let me do it. With a flamethrower.
report
Yeah. Seagulls are second only to vixens in the horrible noises stakes. Vixens are unbelievable.
report
Oh, if it were only noise…they actively try to crap on you, and bump you in the head with their flat bird-feet.
report
I have to comment about vixens. I was woken up at around 3am by what sounded like 3 toddlers and Nigella Laswon rummaging through my bins and crooning at the moon.
Twas the most disturbing sound I ever heard.
report
Vixens? What kind of bird is that?
report
Vixens are female foxes. The internet is failing me here, but imagine this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cPg7_nyoBc&feature=fvw
Except more frenzied and sustained and happening RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW at 3AM.
report
Thank you. I knew that vixens were female foxes, but couldn’t believe they can be as noisy as seagulls, so thought there might be other flying devil named so. Heh, the sound is different than female cats produce for example, but also quite bothersome. Werewolves could sound the same, if they were true. Kinky animals.
report
Peacocks are also really fucking LOUD.
report
Now there’s a noise that will be with me to my grave. Over in London for a few days staying with my sister. The area seemed home to some very promiscuous foxes. The first night you hear it and have no idea what the hell it is, you don’t know whether to call the police or just hide under the bed covers and hope it doesn’t come to get you.
report
I know it’s not a swan but….
My name’s Bobin Threadbare, are you my mother?
report
And I though possums were bad. They just make a sound like someone clearing their throat in an enthusiastic and sustained manner. Also, when they do it while walking past your window on top of a fence it’s relatively easy to push them off it.
report
Is that screenshot from this game? Because it looks like it’s lifted straight out of oblivion. The puzzled, dim-witted expression in the soldier’s face is a complete giveaway.
Also, “Two Worlds II”. Did they think that title through?
report
It does seem like one of the most flawed titles ever conceived. Too bad the trailer doesn’t dispel any misgivings about the game.
report
It totally should have been Two Worlds, Too.
report
Or they could call it: “Two Worlds, again”
report
Two Worlds Two ellides down to TWT, which could, if you so chose, be pronounced ‘twat’.
report
Two Worlds Too Many
report
Hey, give it a chance and you might warn up 2 2 worlds 2, 2.
report
I still think the most flawed name in gaming history is “Zero Divide 2″, it was a fighting game on PSX from memory (might have also been pc but I can’t be bothered confirming).
Still I am looking forward to this game, number one was pretty good if you persisted with it then it became pretty enjoyable … I actually preferred it over oblivion even if oblivion was the more accomplished game, at least it didn’t crash every 10-20 minutes.
report
Pop a boner is such an excellent phrase. I’ll begin to incorporate it in my vocabulary on a daily basis from now on.
report
It makes it sound like a skate boarding move!
report
This is the kind of journalism I come to RPS for. <3 u Quinns
report
That insanely annoying voice over unpopped my boner :(
report
POP A BONER is such an excellent game verb, but the APM recquired in modern games to SUSTAIN BONER is exhausting to me. I don’t know how the kids do it.
report
I like the curled up eyebrows. That is all. No boner here.
report
This makes me want a new Elder Scrolls game… It’s been too long since Oblivion.
report
Better than BIoware’s cut scenes.
report
All cutscenes are bad.
report
I am somewhat bemused.
report
Two World 1 sucked balls, let’s hope this one is at least a tiny bit better
report
Since we all just popped a boner over the trailer, two worlds 2 is in an excellent position for some ball sucking :o
report
Oh my, that was…incoherent.
And brandnew!
report
I do not get it. Generic trailer #356c. What’s good about this thing?
report
Still more parody, surely?
I was waiting for a record scratch and a cut to the Seventh-Grader-Obsessed-With-Hamlet from Episode 4 getting run out of the Southpeak office with the developers yelling, “We fired you! Get out!”
report
Not a single bear and no mention of taint at all in that trailer. Looks like another sequel that fails to capture any of the greatness of the original.
report
I hope the bird-narration was the reason for that… bizzare enunciation throughout. And I hope the bland, generic high fantasy battle scene was a result of the bird’s limited imagination, and actually the sign of innovative changes in perspective, going further even that Dragon Age 2 is doing.
report
Why on earth is a Chaos Champion helping Empire Soldiers fight against an Ogre Kingdoms army?
report
Why is sauron fighting the orc guy – and losing?
I don’t remember that from the last time i watched LOTR… is this another extended edition?
–
Also, are there any CRPGs where we actually get to do this kind of stuff, on a grand scale, like in fantasy movies or books? Usually it’s wandering around with 3 other people fetching stuff – hardly epic.
report
But LOTR was technically just a really long fetch quest with some sideplots on the way.
report
Interesting voice over.
Sounds like Auntie Bertha’s been polishing off the Gin again…
report
History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, Reality Pump missed their release dates.
report
Or “twit.”
report
That was for AndrewC, regarding the pronunciation of TWT.
report
Okay I cannot be the only one wanting a game where you play as the enormous brutish not-orcs, right? It would be called ‘Punch, Ogre, Punch!’ and it would follow the adventures of Thrug as he tried to make his life in a harsh world filled with dwarves and delicious elves :D
report