By Quintin Smith on October 25th, 2010 at 9:20 am.
Last we saw of Two Worlds II, developers Southpeak were cheerily mocking the first game in a series of videos. Evidently with the game’s Jan 2011 release date coming up, the time for such jokes is OVER.
The trailer below shows a FEROCIOUS BATTLE between HUMANS (I think?) and NOT-ORCS. The bloody fight takes place at the coast next to OSWAROTH, a city next to the DRA’KAR DESERT. There is an AXE. There is PAIN. There is a BIRD, who may or may not be the NARRATOR. Have you had breakfast yet? Did you sleep well? Because if not, you might just LOSE CONTROL and POP A BONER.
25/10/2010 at 09:23 Torqual says:
Its clearly a battle humans against steroid elves. This is no rendersequenz its ingame grafic.
Have a nice day
25/10/2010 at 13:03 Eclipse says:
sadly that’s clearly CG, not ingame stuff
25/10/2010 at 09:26 Brumisator says:
I hope they don’t shoot themselves in the foot after all that self-depreciation.
25/10/2010 at 09:40 Brumisator says:
Also, why does this have an uncanny resemblance to the LOTR movies’ battle of Dagorlad?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9lcJJuHPEs#t=1m10s
25/10/2010 at 14:03 jackflash says:
@Brumisator
I thought the exact same thing as I was watching it. Can these guys create anything even remotely original?
25/10/2010 at 09:27 Antlia says:
These MMO trailers are quite sad actually as they don’t represent the gameplay at all.
25/10/2010 at 09:30 Quintin Smith says:
Two Worlds is a single-player RPG with multiplayer support, dude.
(Although the video’s still not representative of the game.)
25/10/2010 at 19:25 bob_d says:
“These RPG trailers are quite sad actually as they don’t represent the gameplay at all.”
There, fixed it for you, and still just as true, unfortunately.
25/10/2010 at 09:29 arjuna says:
I agree, ‘LOSE CONTROL and POP A BONER’ is a much better line than ‘PEE YOURSELF’.
As in it was more accurate.
25/10/2010 at 09:36 Dzamir says:
But what I want is…. THREE WORLDS 3
26/10/2010 at 00:06 chad says:
nice.
25/10/2010 at 09:46 Vaerriek says:
Wonder if the melee combat is still atrocious in this one.
25/10/2010 at 09:48 Flaringo says:
What kind of bird is that?
25/10/2010 at 09:49 Vaerriek says:
The talking kind!
25/10/2010 at 09:51 Quintin Smith says:
A seagull. No- a wargull!
25/10/2010 at 10:08 Subject 706 says:
If you’ve ever been around seagulls when they have chicks, ‘wargull’ becomes a most fitting name.
I live by the sea, where lots of seagulls nest, unfortunately. The wargulls have become so annyoing that the city has ordered them to be culled. I just wish they would let me do it. With a flamethrower.
25/10/2010 at 10:38 Quintin Smith says:
Yeah. Seagulls are second only to vixens in the horrible noises stakes. Vixens are unbelievable.
25/10/2010 at 11:23 Subject 706 says:
Oh, if it were only noise…they actively try to crap on you, and bump you in the head with their flat bird-feet.
25/10/2010 at 12:34 Huggster says:
I have to comment about vixens. I was woken up at around 3am by what sounded like 3 toddlers and Nigella Laswon rummaging through my bins and crooning at the moon.
Twas the most disturbing sound I ever heard.
25/10/2010 at 13:01 Saiko Kila says:
Vixens? What kind of bird is that?
25/10/2010 at 13:35 Quintin Smith says:
Vixens are female foxes. The internet is failing me here, but imagine this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cPg7_nyoBc&feature=fvw
Except more frenzied and sustained and happening RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW at 3AM.
25/10/2010 at 13:46 Saiko Kila says:
Thank you. I knew that vixens were female foxes, but couldn’t believe they can be as noisy as seagulls, so thought there might be other flying devil named so. Heh, the sound is different than female cats produce for example, but also quite bothersome. Werewolves could sound the same, if they were true. Kinky animals.
25/10/2010 at 14:30 Ignorant Texan says:
Peacocks are also really fucking LOUD.
25/10/2010 at 16:08 Mad Hamish says:
Now there’s a noise that will be with me to my grave. Over in London for a few days staying with my sister. The area seemed home to some very promiscuous foxes. The first night you hear it and have no idea what the hell it is, you don’t know whether to call the police or just hide under the bed covers and hope it doesn’t come to get you.
25/10/2010 at 22:19 TWeaK says:
I know it’s not a swan but….
My name’s Bobin Threadbare, are you my mother?
26/10/2010 at 00:17 FRIENDLYUNIT says:
And I though possums were bad. They just make a sound like someone clearing their throat in an enthusiastic and sustained manner. Also, when they do it while walking past your window on top of a fence it’s relatively easy to push them off it.
25/10/2010 at 10:09 olemars says:
Is that screenshot from this game? Because it looks like it’s lifted straight out of oblivion. The puzzled, dim-witted expression in the soldier’s face is a complete giveaway.
Also, “Two Worlds II”. Did they think that title through?
25/10/2010 at 13:48 Hmm-Hmm. says:
It does seem like one of the most flawed titles ever conceived. Too bad the trailer doesn’t dispel any misgivings about the game.
25/10/2010 at 13:51 Hodge says:
It totally should have been Two Worlds, Too.
25/10/2010 at 16:43 Supraliminal says:
Or they could call it: “Two Worlds, again”
25/10/2010 at 16:50 AndrewC says:
Two Worlds Two ellides down to TWT, which could, if you so chose, be pronounced ‘twat’.
25/10/2010 at 19:19 Sobric says:
Two Worlds Too Many
25/10/2010 at 19:33 mwoody says:
Hey, give it a chance and you might warn up 2 2 worlds 2, 2.
25/10/2010 at 23:20 sassy says:
I still think the most flawed name in gaming history is “Zero Divide 2″, it was a fighting game on PSX from memory (might have also been pc but I can’t be bothered confirming).
Still I am looking forward to this game, number one was pretty good if you persisted with it then it became pretty enjoyable … I actually preferred it over oblivion even if oblivion was the more accomplished game, at least it didn’t crash every 10-20 minutes.
25/10/2010 at 10:17 Nihilille says:
Pop a boner is such an excellent phrase. I’ll begin to incorporate it in my vocabulary on a daily basis from now on.
25/10/2010 at 10:32 Aubrey says:
It makes it sound like a skate boarding move!
25/10/2010 at 21:15 a says:
This is the kind of journalism I come to RPS for. <3 u Quinns
25/10/2010 at 10:20 Nick says:
That insanely annoying voice over unpopped my boner :(
25/10/2010 at 10:30 AndrewC says:
POP A BONER is such an excellent game verb, but the APM recquired in modern games to SUSTAIN BONER is exhausting to me. I don’t know how the kids do it.
25/10/2010 at 11:15 the wiseass says:
I like the curled up eyebrows. That is all. No boner here.
25/10/2010 at 12:37 derella says:
This makes me want a new Elder Scrolls game… It’s been too long since Oblivion.
25/10/2010 at 12:39 Al3xand3r says:
Better than BIoware’s cut scenes.
25/10/2010 at 13:43 Manley Pointer says:
All cutscenes are bad.
25/10/2010 at 12:45 wcaypahwat says:
I am somewhat bemused.
25/10/2010 at 12:59 Eclipse says:
Two World 1 sucked balls, let’s hope this one is at least a tiny bit better
25/10/2010 at 23:23 sassy says:
Since we all just popped a boner over the trailer, two worlds 2 is in an excellent position for some ball sucking :o
25/10/2010 at 13:34 suibhne says:
Oh my, that was…incoherent.
And brandnew!
25/10/2010 at 13:54 X2-Eliah says:
I do not get it. Generic trailer #356c. What’s good about this thing?
25/10/2010 at 14:49 Urthman says:
Still more parody, surely?
I was waiting for a record scratch and a cut to the Seventh-Grader-Obsessed-With-Hamlet from Episode 4 getting run out of the Southpeak office with the developers yelling, “We fired you! Get out!”
25/10/2010 at 15:14 GlobalFrequency says:
Not a single bear and no mention of taint at all in that trailer. Looks like another sequel that fails to capture any of the greatness of the original.
25/10/2010 at 15:22 jeremypeel says:
I hope the bird-narration was the reason for that… bizzare enunciation throughout. And I hope the bland, generic high fantasy battle scene was a result of the bird’s limited imagination, and actually the sign of innovative changes in perspective, going further even that Dragon Age 2 is doing.
25/10/2010 at 15:34 Okami says:
Why on earth is a Chaos Champion helping Empire Soldiers fight against an Ogre Kingdoms army?
25/10/2010 at 16:23 bill says:
Why is sauron fighting the orc guy – and losing?
I don’t remember that from the last time i watched LOTR… is this another extended edition?
–
Also, are there any CRPGs where we actually get to do this kind of stuff, on a grand scale, like in fantasy movies or books? Usually it’s wandering around with 3 other people fetching stuff – hardly epic.
25/10/2010 at 17:06 olemars says:
But LOTR was technically just a really long fetch quest with some sideplots on the way.
25/10/2010 at 16:24 MrThingy says:
Interesting voice over.
Sounds like Auntie Bertha’s been polishing off the Gin again…
25/10/2010 at 18:20 Jimbo says:
History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, Reality Pump missed their release dates.
25/10/2010 at 18:25 TariqOne says:
Or “twit.”
25/10/2010 at 18:26 TariqOne says:
That was for AndrewC, regarding the pronunciation of TWT.
26/10/2010 at 23:53 My opinion is terrible and I'm sorry says:
Okay I cannot be the only one wanting a game where you play as the enormous brutish not-orcs, right? It would be called ‘Punch, Ogre, Punch!’ and it would follow the adventures of Thrug as he tried to make his life in a harsh world filled with dwarves and delicious elves :D