By Alec Meer on July 15th, 2011 at 5:49 pm.

I’m not sure how we managed to miss this. I’m also not entirely sure that we mightn’t have been better off continuing to miss this. Gangs of Glasgow is what happens if medieval warfare sim Mount & Blade was transposed to modern Glasgow, Scotland – or at least an exaggerated version of it where the extreme football hooliganism, rioting and assorted other urban violence is worse than it already is/was. On the one hand, bringing so much – from police cars to football stadiums – into a game about dudes with swords on horses is an amazing technical achievement. On the other… well, I don’t know about you, but I’m making a face that tries to convey something I couldn’t begin to describe accurately.
But I’ll try! It’s a sort of raised-eyebrowed grimace with pursed lips and wide, shocked eyes that can’t look away, and the best meaning for it I can come up with is ‘this is incredibly wrong but quite funny in an incredibly dark and twisted way but mostly disturbing and I don’t know if I should be posting about it but it’s amazing in its way but also horrible and I don’t really know what to think or say about it.’
Here’s a few general in-game clips:
And here’s a trailer focused on recreating the notorious 1980 Old Firm pitch invasion/fight:
It could be taken as a sort of multiplayer, team-based Postal. It could also be taken as making light of a city with a dark history of football-related violence. It could also be taken as knowingly ridiculous. Or all of the three. Here’s the official disclaimer:
“The mods are mostly comedic in nature, but deal with serious real-life social issues such as knife-crime, drug abuse, and sectarianism, usually in a ridiculous and/or offensive way.” So, hopefully you know what you’re letting yourself in for.
While the project’s been around since 2009, a new, fuller build landed on ModDB earlier this week.
Thanks – sort of – for the tip, Bodminzer.



15/07/2011 at 17:53 The Sentinel says:
Bloody weegies. They get everywhere.
15/07/2011 at 17:54 sonicblastoise says:
Knife-crime is the #1 cause of stabbings in the world.
this is a mod with a MESSAGE
15/07/2011 at 18:05 Heliocentric says:
the second is novice jugglers out reaching their grasp.
15/07/2011 at 18:13 sPOONz says:
“Knife-crime is the #1 cause of stabbings in the world” Really!?!
15/07/2011 at 18:15 sonicblastoise says:
i’m an authority on it, trust me
i’ve been stabbed
15/07/2011 at 18:20 Drake Sigar says:
The third is the bed of nails.
15/07/2011 at 18:21 Teddy Leach says:
The fourth? That’s terror.
15/07/2011 at 18:34 dirtyword says:
Don’t forget drunken unicorns. Beautiful but deadly.
15/07/2011 at 19:40 Monkey says:
This seems like the perfect time to unleash my favourite fact; champagne corks are the biggest single cause of eye loss in the UK – FACT
15/07/2011 at 20:41 Mad Hamish says:
Feck that. Buckfast is the No 1 cause of knife crime. It’s also the No 1 cause of a good time. So as long as you leave your knives at home, the only damage you’ll do is to yourself.
18/07/2011 at 01:08 Vorlonesque says:
I am also an expert.
I am the one who stabbed you.
(j/k…I mostly stab hobos…you aren’t a hobo…are you?)
18/07/2011 at 01:29 sonicblastoise says:
*gaspity*
my dark secret, revealed!
also, the key to my research methods.
15/07/2011 at 17:56 Teddy Leach says:
I’ve been enjoying this mod for years. It’s fantastic.
EDIT: You’ve got the videos the wrong way around.
15/07/2011 at 18:00 Gotem says:
wish they added soemthing like this to those FIFA games. It would make me buy one
15/07/2011 at 18:02 ShowMeTheMonkey says:
As with the Street Cleaning Simulator, just knowing things like this exist makes me smile.
15/07/2011 at 18:04 Zogtee says:
Fascinating. Adding modern political and social context to a videogame like this gives it some serious punch and makes at least me wonder what games are really about. Is it just entertainment or can you find something in them that touches us at a deeper level?
15/07/2011 at 18:06 Web Cole says:
*Obligatory how is this any different from a regular Saturday night joke*
15/07/2011 at 18:06 Fergus says:
Needs more rain.
16/07/2011 at 12:15 steviesteveo says:
Absolutely, it’s just not the same.
15/07/2011 at 18:07 Stupoider says:
http://tubedubber.com/#Z6FfFfL7zGo:Usd9V21H7u4:0:100:0:0:true
This is almost too good.
All the proportions of the doors and urinals in the bathroom just remind me of Trainspotting, while the proportions of the shirtless lackeys make them look like Sontarans. THIS IS AMAZING
15/07/2011 at 18:22 Icarus says:
That is a genius combination.
15/07/2011 at 18:08 Nighthood says:
Oh god, that’s absolutely hilarious. The exchange outside the bar is fairly witty, and the game itself just doesn’t seem to take itself seriously at all.
More of this sort of thing, modders. This is how REAL mods should look.
16/07/2011 at 04:46 Kulantan says:
REAL mods? Isn’t this a bit no true Scotsman. I mean there are some brilliant mods that are essential rebalancers for a game. I mean if you want to insist that only this mod is truly a Scotsman then…
Wait a second. I see what you did there. Well played.
15/07/2011 at 18:14 inertia says:
As a glaswegian, I find myself appalled by this slanderous filth. As an internet commenter, I could also be taking the piss. You decide!
15/07/2011 at 18:20 Teddy Leach says:
I don’t know, but someone really need to show this to Rab Florence.
15/07/2011 at 18:57 RobF says:
It started out on the Consolevania forums if I recall. I know that’s where I first read about it.
15/07/2011 at 19:18 Quinnbeast says:
Man on bike wielding a shovel while wearing his “Celic Tap”? All you need is to hang around waiting for a bus on Union Street for 20 mins, and you’ll see plenty similarly equipped young gents.
18/07/2011 at 14:35 Malibu Stacey says:
As a Glaswegian I find this utterly hilarious but I couldn’t care less about Scottish football (outside of a passing interest in Partick Thistle) or religious sectarianism.
15/07/2011 at 18:14 Bodylotion says:
Should try this mod. Been to Glasgow this year (Glasgow Rangers – PSV) and it’s a pretty cool city. Mod looks buggy but who cares… ?
15/07/2011 at 18:26 Unaco says:
Yay! Sectarian Violence. Could there ever be a better subject for a video game?
15/07/2011 at 18:28 Teddy Leach says:
A game based on The Troubles? Actually, there could well be one.
15/07/2011 at 22:23 lurkalisk says:
Holocaust simulator?
15/07/2011 at 23:11 shitflap says:
Teddy, I, for one, like this timing of this being brought to my attention, 3 days late sadly, but close enough to tickle me.
I am eagerly awaiting the Marching Season version of this mod, especially the Ardoyne and Drumcree maps.
They can call it Fenian Rampage or something similar. The protestants will have to think up their own name, I cba. Mount and Blade: Marching Band sounds a bit shit
15/07/2011 at 18:26 Bodminzer says:
Speaking as the guy who submitted this, I was going to send it to Rab but I thought it might upset him. It certainly upset me.
15/07/2011 at 18:35 OJSlaughter says:
I’ve always wanted an accurate simulator of Glasgow life and now I have it… they got everybit of it down to a t
15/07/2011 at 18:36 Trelow says:
Kids and I were just playing with this the other day. It’s one of the mods that doesn’t leave our rotation.
15/07/2011 at 18:37 DarkFenix says:
This mod looks like a comparatively peaceful day in Glasgow. I’m sure we’ll have some weegies along shortly feeling offended at being portrayed as pussies.
15/07/2011 at 18:39 tomeoftom says:
From a non-Glaswegian perspective, this is hands-down the funniest mod I’ve ever seen. I know it’s probably a bit foul given the violence that actually occured, but I can’t stop laughing for long enough to care.
18/07/2011 at 14:28 Malibu Stacey says:
Incorrectly using past tense. Football season starts on Saturday (23rd) & the first old firm game is on the 18th of September. Come for a visit to our fair city of Glasgow & take a stroll round the Ibrox/Govan area that day if you want to see this mod come to life.
15/07/2011 at 18:49 Ice-Fyre says:
I love the po-lice cars, made me chuckle
15/07/2011 at 19:01 Tei says:
Perrrrfect :D
15/07/2011 at 19:10 Octaeder says:
Damn you anyone who said the original wasn’t worth getting over Warband during the Steam sale! Now I miss this hilarity.
15/07/2011 at 19:28 Witrim says:
All the really good/cool mods are on M&B but they are starting to get ported to WB too. So yeah you are missing out on stuff like this that isnt really worked on anymore but most of the new content is made for WB. Not sure if Fire and Sword got any mods at all or what works on it.
16/07/2011 at 18:21 Davee says:
As far as I know; there won’t be any modding support for WFaS. It wasn’t TaleWorlds (creators of M&B) themselves who made it, but a third-party Ukranian developer studio, so they can’t really support it.
15/07/2011 at 19:15 Dozer says:
This is the best thing I’ve seen all day. And I’ve spent most of the day learning to use our hospital’s new computer system, with a codified system for recording a patient’s allergies, which includes fifteen codes for various kinds of cake.
Yep, it is possible to explicitly declare that your patient has an allergy to Substance SNOMED Code 125521911 Battenburg Cake. Most of the class was spent recording that the patient named “YOUR, MOTHER” has an Adverse Reaction to ‘Gravity’ with Reaction ‘Fall down elevator shaft’ [severe].
15/07/2011 at 19:22 Teddy Leach says:
I want to work there so much.
15/07/2011 at 21:34 President Weasel says:
Battenburg is the third most dangerous of all cakes.
16/07/2011 at 00:20 Tams80 says:
But Weasel, that just leaves us to ponder what the 2nd and more importantly most dangerous cakes are!
16/07/2011 at 14:16 steviesteveo says:
Gun cake. It’s common knowledge.
16/07/2011 at 14:26 Dozer says:
Here’s a list of all the cakes:
Battenburg cake
Cake
Chinese cake
Chocolate cake
Chocolate cake with butter icing
Coconut cake
Crispie cake
Eccles cake
Fancy iced cake
Fatless sponge cake
Fresh cream-filled sponge cake
Frozen sponge cake
Fruit cake
Gluten-free cake mix
Iced fruit cake
Jaffa cake
Jam-filled sponge cake
Lardy cake
Madeira cake
Plain fruit cake
Potato cakes
Rich fruit cake
Rock cake
Sponge cake
Sponge cake make with cake mix
Sponge cake with butter icing
Welsh cake
Wholemeal fruit cake
I have no idea why the NHS wants to codify all these different types of cake.
16/07/2011 at 18:26 Davee says:
While totally unrelated to the article; this made my day :D
15/07/2011 at 19:24 Dana says:
Amount of stupid in this game is so high, it created singularity of awesomeness.
15/07/2011 at 19:26 sinister agent says:
I am not sure about most of this, but I can’t deny that I laughed out loud when that guy got knocked out by a deftly-flung football.
15/07/2011 at 19:53 MrTambourineMan says:
Damn brilliant!
15/07/2011 at 19:53 Malawi Frontier Guard says:
It’s a shame MDickie stopped making games.
15/07/2011 at 19:54 ColOfNature says:
I’m appalled: the prevalence of red or reddish hair on the character models in the first video only serves to further negative stereotypes of Scottish people as a race of violent ginger bams. I’m Scottish and I’m not ginger.
15/07/2011 at 20:10 Hmm-Hmm. says:
Um. Er. Okay, I admit to be wholly ignorant of any Glaswegian stereotypes so I assume this is all in good fun?
15/07/2011 at 20:13 ColOfNature says:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ViolentGlaswegian
15/07/2011 at 20:47 Lambchops says:
I was ready to be amused by this (I spent my undergrad years in Glasgow) but alas this wasn’t one of the best comedic efforts from the weegies. I now just feel the urge to watch the better bits of Only an Excuse.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mt7Wn4v3uRk&feature=related
15/07/2011 at 21:01 gandrewsan says:
But where are sixteen-year-old mothers of three vomiting in an open sewer, bairns looking on, chewing on potato cakes? You’ll never get an accurate picture of us without them.
16/07/2011 at 10:30 Auspex says:
What in the name of fuck are “potato cakes”? We have tatty scones up here good sir!
16/07/2011 at 18:15 The Tupper says:
Yeah, I was wondering that too. I’m mystified by these so-called ‘paw-tay-teow cakes’. A real Glaswegian eh? I think he’s secretly from Edinburgh – GET HIM!
15/07/2011 at 21:59 sonson says:
This might sound like a naive thing to say but-
Surely this is just another simulation of violence, and thus no better/worse than any other similar simulations of violence?
As a resident of Edinburgh, with a degree in Scottish History, and a religious background, I’m well aware of the various evils of sectarianism. But the above seems to have little in relation to that beyond a football shirt re-skin. At heart, it’s a representation of men biffing men from another game which is based in no small part on men biffing men. The difference is literally superficial.
If anything, for all this observation is a bit contrived, it just goes to show how far society has come. Whereas once biffing men was a viable means of various things including social mobility-ala Mount and Blade- now it is seen as the preserve of a fringe element who are un-representative of the population as a whole., and, from a distance, even comical in some ways. I laughed anyway.
I don’t think it’s a particularly clever, humane or life affirming mod or anything, but I don’t see the harm in it either.
15/07/2011 at 23:05 lurkalisk says:
Completely agree.
15/07/2011 at 23:22 ribidons says:
The matter is subjective. There are going to be people who are “too close” to the problem in one way or another. They’ll see this kind of thing as either the glorification or trivialization of a nasty, brutish bit of history, and they’ll see it as insensitive. Even less healthily, it’s possible that someone out there is using this to psychologically whitewash the historical events on their own behalf, or as a way to play out or reinforce more genuine violent fantasies. Additionally, it’s possible that the game somehow frames specific people in unfair ways, which bears all the normal problems of any revisionist historical work. None of this suggests that the work ought to be quashed, removed from the Internet, or some other nonsense, but merely that, depending on the plaintiff in question, setting-related complaints might be neither baseless nor irrational.
There IS something a little different between this and, say, a Grand Theft Auto game. In GTA, the social dysfunction (mostly) circles tightly around the protagonist and fellow “criminals.” If guns are blazing, it’s because “bad people” (whether the avatar, gangsters or crooked cops) are stirring up trouble. GTA’s society, mostly, puts on a show of functionality. Joggers, white collar workers, and other commuters abound and more-or-less appear to be going about their own business. Civilization plods forward. In a setting like M&B Glasgow, anarchic violence seems to be a societal norm. Even if the player character avoids conflict, the “ordinary folk” will continue beating each other to pieces with shovels and street signs. There doesn’t appear to be a pacifist/avoidant “bystander” faction on the field, and the police simply appear to be another power-hungry, violent force. Again, mothballing the possible critique of state authority, the setting is simply less compatible with more moderate statist views of society, which depend tremendously on a mostly-compliant populace. And, there is a seed of truth in there: no imaginable current police force can peaceably quell a general uprising. The implicit question, I suppose, is the same old chestnut: are people, at heart and without coercion, benign or malevolent to their fellow folk?
I agree, there’s almost certainly no real harm in this. And, anyone saying, “This ought not exist!” is off-base. Simultaneously, the statement, “This mod sucks!” could be quite accurate. I do have a classic M&B serial key somewhere around here, but I will admit that I have not loaded this mod, so all I have to comment on are the videos. Spectator violence is a social ill that society ought to discourage, as unlike various forms of politically-driven violence, it almost certainly has no productive motive. Even so, this mod, when viewed from across the Atlantic, mostly seems humorous. If I were going to get upset about perspectives in games, I’d be more inclined to rail against, say, Christian/Muslim supremacist or heavily racist settings, because there actually do exist modern groups practicing violence on those terms. I don’t see football rioting as a long-term dangerous trend, but merely an intermittent social failure. As such, I don’t see much harm in this.
Finally, I may very well be misinterpreting this; I am not a student of the region’s history. If hooliganism has some serious socio-political aspirations or impact I’m unaware of, then it’s possible that certain standing critiques may apply. To be a bit crass, my naive take on hooliganism indicates that it is less a social movement than a passtime: hooligans aren’t sincerely hoping to “break the state” or the like, but merely to indulge in running wild. So, if I’m off-base, I’m off-base.
15/07/2011 at 23:41 aldo_14 says:
I’m just shocked there’s a resident of Edinburgh who (apparently) isn’t English
:p
16/07/2011 at 13:53 sonson says:
@ ribidons
Good post. There are many different issues on hooliganism in the UK and whether they were a cause or symptom of breakdown in society. In the seventies and up to the mid eighties, periods largely considered to be bleak for the UK by the reckoning of most historians, it was seen as a considerable issue. Things are much improved in that sense, in no small part because considerably many more people now are better off and have more to lose from the breakdown of order than was the case in the aforementioned era when many people were struggling anyway.
I would say though that the GTA comparison is a bit off because everyone ( as far as I can tell anyway) present in the mod is violent by the looks of things. It’s basically a sort of humorous and sectarian circle of hell where everyone exists in perpetual conflict and exaggerated stereotype. Fighting is no different than going to the shops, or talking even. It’s like one of those old arcade games where literally all you do is punch people on the street in order to progress. But everyone does it, lives by the same rules. It’s pure fantasy for all that is is set in a contemporary context.
Whereas GTA offers the opportunity to violently disrupt a wider functional world in which the majority of participants are peaceful citizens. In GTA the majority of people are not violent, and so running someone over or running into a hospital and setting fire to everyone has much more moral weight to it than doing so in a game in which everyone is a sectarian or violent thug and are looking to do the same to you.
This isn’t the place to go into it but I feel there is far more of an ethical issue with games that offer the opportunity to be violent in a comparably civilized society than ones which are nothing but violence. Simply because we actually live in the former.
15/07/2011 at 22:30 Skusey says:
I’d like to echo the point that’s already been made, I’d be really interested to see what Rab makes of this. As the God of Games, and a real, bonafide Scotsman, this certainly comes under his purview.
16/07/2011 at 00:21 Hydrogene says:
I find it very strange that I’m more affected by the violent fight in the mod between two football shirt wearing hooligans in a pub than between medieval soldiers in the original game.
Why is that?
16/07/2011 at 00:59 crainey92 says:
Admittedly this give me a good chuckle, I found it very humorous though I know the issues outlined by this video are deadly serious. This really makes me want to go to my shed and start making “Mount & Blade: Streets of Belfast!”.
16/07/2011 at 01:49 Wozzle says:
WTF Europe
16/07/2011 at 09:58 Myros says:
Just one thing to say …. “Bawbag!”
16/07/2011 at 11:03 Ciber says:
So, does this work on Warband or do I need to buy the original somewhere cheap?
16/07/2011 at 14:25 Dozer says:
reply fail. baaaaa
18/07/2011 at 00:41 FRIENDLYUNIT says:
Heh. The guys invading the pitch were just a leeetle more tooled up than the ones in the footage.
17/01/2013 at 12:04 Gordonius says:
“It’s a sort of raised-eyebrowed grimace with pursed lips and wide, shocked eyes that can’t look away, and the best meaning for it I can come up with is ‘this is incredibly wrong but quite funny in an incredibly dark and twisted way but mostly disturbing and I don’t know if I should be posting about it but it’s amazing in its way but also horrible and I don’t really know what to think or say about it.’”
That’s how I feel watching Limmy’s Show.