VG247 Editor Promises To Eat Own Trousers On Film If Mojang-Funded Psychonauts 2 Happens

By Alec Meer on February 10th, 2012 at 2:16 pm.

Let's just hope Pat doesn't like to go commando

We don’t usually allow RPS headlines to run onto a second line, but this is a very special case indeed. During idle Twitter discussions about the whys and wherefores of a possible Mojang-funded Psychonauts sequel, I heard that the first game had cost $15 million to develop and that Tim Schafer was estimating a $20m cost for a sequel.

Clearly, these eyewatering figures cast some doubt on Mojang being able to successfully (or at least wholly) fund the game. So much so that VG247 editor, friend of RPS and entertainingly relentless cynic Pat Garratt has pledged to me – and now to the public – that he will eat his own trousers, on camera, in the event that a Mojang-funded Psychonauts 2 comes to pass.

Oh, that’s ‘pants’ if you’re an American, ‘pantalones’ if you’re a Spanish-speaker, ‘pantalon’ for the French and, perhaps most pertinently, ‘byxor’ for Swedes such as the Mojang folk. Clearly, this needs to happen. We need to keep up the pressure on Notch, and perhaps we even need to help Mojang and Double Fine raise more capital.

Do whatever it takes – buy 1000 copies of Minecraft each, post gold to Mojang HQ, volunteer to make Double Fine a 3D engine for free. Anything. Anything: just so long as we get to watch a man eat his own trousers.

Alternatively, Double Fine just need to make a cheapy 2D game with the same sensibilities of character and humour as Psychonauts, and we’re all laughing. Except Pat. He won’t be laughing. Because his mouth will be filled with denim. Or polyester. Or linen. Or whatever type of trouser the man prefers.

In return, I have promised Pat that I will crowdsource funds to buy him a new pair of trousers once he’s completed his challenging meal. It’s the least I can do, really.

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68 Comments »

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  1. Richie Shoemaker says:

    I’ve seen him eat far worse, though not on camera.

  2. Hoaxfish says:

    He just needs to buy some chocolate pants.

    also, does this just require “funding” or actual completion of the project and sales?

  3. Xocrates says:

    Well, the Dracogen guy (who funded the PC port of Costume Quest among other things) said he was “in” when Notch said he would fund Psychonauts, so between the two of them I could very well see them being able to fund it.

    Also, is he going to eat the particular set of pants he’s pointing to? I want that to be clear so he doesn’t go through some loophole and buys a set of doll pants.

  4. Unaco says:

    Can we get some more specifics? Does it have to be entirely funded by Mojang/Notch? Or if he chips in 0.001% of the development costs and gets a credit, will that count? Is there some sort of deadline/time limit to this? If Psychonauts 2 comes out in 2036 will it still count? Have the trousers to be consumed been decided upon already? What if it does happen, but it is an abomination… It sends Tom Schaeffer to the loony bin, offends/angers its target audience and bankrupts Mojang/Notch?

    As a lawyer, I’d advise you to hire a lawyer and draw up a binding contract, to be signed and witnessed at exorbitant expense (all of which goes to the lawyer). I’m not really doing much this weekend by the by.

    • Gnoupi says:

      Also, are we talking fabric only, or does that include the zipper?

    • Unaco says:

      What if he visits Lady Gaga’s Tailor and comes away with a pair of trousers made from Lettuce or Steak? I really do implore you to get this in writing, in a legally binding contract (I have flexible payment options, and accept many alternative payments… First born children included).

    • DanPryce says:

      It has to include anything he has in the pockets at the time. And if his pockets are anything like mine, that includes keys and snotty tissues.

    • Premium User Badge

      WombatDeath says:

      Steak trousers, with pockets full of peppercorn sauce and a zipper made of chips.

    • SanguineAngel says:

      I think this has my vote for comment of the day. Not just for comic value either but the genuine and sage advice offered. [Possibly] Free of charge too!

    • diamondmx says:

      @WombatDeath The image of a zipper made of chips made me laugh. Also, as I’m Scottish, hungry.

    • Phantoon says:

      Considering how much food a pair of steak pants would be, I’d be okay with that.

  5. Lukasz says:

    20M dollars??? that’s… crazy amount of money to spend. Yeah. Notch ain’t gonna fund that unless Scrolls sell better than Minecraft. I thought they could do that with 2-3M bucks.

    No wonder Psychonauts didn’t sale. Or to be more precise.. sold well but their budget was way to frigging high! Where the f— did all that money go?

    • Xocrates says:

      Consider for a moment that Minecraft has generated over 50.000.000 € and probably closer or in excess of 75.000.000€
      Heck, it generated over 180.000€ in the last 24 hours alone.

      Also, 20.000.000$ isn’t actually that much regarding game development.

    • Premium User Badge

      stahlwerk says:

      Keep in mind that Psychonauts was multiplatform (Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 2, Xbox, Xbox 360, Mac OS X).

    • fiddlesticks says:

      From what I remember, Psychonauts had a fairly troubled development process. It took them five years to finish the game and the results of the first two years were almost completely scrapped. Additionally, they built up a completely new engine for the game which is a lot more expensive than simply relying on a premade one.

    • vodka and cookies says:

      20 million isn’t crazy at all, that’s on the lower end of the AAA spectrum, seriously gamers have no clue how expensive games are to make these days. They still think it’s the 90’s and a few million is all it takes.

    • Soon says:

      Yeah, but AAA doesn’t seem to mean anything except that it was expensive to make.

    • HadToLogin says:

      20 milions $ is actually really big thing when you consider how “big” Psychonauts are, and then remember CD Red needed 10 milions $ to make Witcher 2…

    • Premium User Badge

      Wisq says:

      Surely they can save some money by having a working model to base their efforts off, and a good idea what people did and didn’t like from the first one. I wouldn’t expect them to have two false starts this time around.

      However, given some of the environments in Psychonauts, I wouldn’t be surprised if they need to do their own engine again.

    • Saiko Kila says:

      15 million for Psychonauts was crazy in that time. 20 million nowadays isn’t, because 15 millions of that will go to marketing department alone. And 5 megadollars seem to be a fitting amount for these snotty artists, designers, programmers or whoever it takes.

  6. cjlr says:

    Finally, a fitting sequel.

  7. Premium User Badge

    stahlwerk says:

    [Obligatory question / statement of concern about how well large amounts of cotton wool thread and dye can be digested safely, if at all. Do you own a cat? How well does he/she digest keratinous fibres? Oh my god, what’s that sound? Exactly!]

    [Obligatory edit after checking Wikipedia to see what cotton actually consists of, and finding it’s actually lots of cellulose. That’s not too bad, is it?]

    • Sarlix says:

      That’s the sort of project I can get behind. (I have lots of trousers)

    • Shuck says:

      Having seen my dog eat a bit of a cotton towel (or more specifically, having seen what came out the other end), I’d say it’s no more digestible.

    • Skabooga says:

      Well, he would certainly be getting his recommended daily dose of fiber that day.

    • Jim Dandy says:

      My sweetheart once lived with a Yorkie/Jack Russell who liked to eat her knickers. Apparently he was able to digest them pretty well, aside from the gussets. The expression on his face when he excreted said partially digested gussets seemed to indicate some level of discomfort.

      Seems to me Mr Garratt’s pants may cause more trouble on exit than entry. Possibly the only thing worse than getting your bits caught in a zipper would be getting a zipper caught in your bits. At least he’s not wearing late 90’s enormo-trousers….

  8. Premium User Badge

    felisc says:

    I’m always open to stupid news. We need more.

    • Sarlix says:

      Giant chicken attacks university after Bachelor of Accounting degree is revoked.

  9. Premium User Badge

    Herzog says:

    Lets hope we can finally see a spiritual sequel to Werner Herzog Eats his Shoe!

  10. Alec Meer says:

    Miserabilist’s comment and resultant pile-on deleted, because we really don’t want a big fight in a fun post. Further references to it will be TERMINATED WITHOUT PREJUDICE. Well, probably with prejudice. In either case, leave it alone.

    • Premium User Badge

      Oozo says:

      Ninja’ed several times over. But, you know, it bears repeating: you should really watch Werner Herzog eat his shoe.

    • Raiyan 1.0 says:

      I wanna know what I missed! :(

  11. coldvvvave says:

    Did I miss some kind of event where Psychonauts was named a Holy Grail of gaming or something?

    EDIT: looks like I’m going to be TERMINATED. Whatever.

  12. Premium User Badge

    stahlwerk says:

    Is there actually a statement about the availability of the IP, or have Majesco/THQ been caught with their pants down.

  13. Buemba says:

    I’d pay $80.00 for a collector’s edition of Psychonauts 2 that included a 1080p video of a grown man eating his pants. Make that $ 100.00 if he cries through and said pants are made of denim or some other tough material.

    • Fierce says:

      That’s quite a sum for what’s essentially a high viewer count Youtube video.

      Now if he got Gordon Ramsey to cook the item while badmouthing him from the moment the stove was turned on to the moment he swallowed the last bite… that’s a completely different story and revenue stream.

  14. Dana says:

    Eating the trousers may cause gastrointestinal track blockage, and respiratory failure, leading to death.

  15. Shortwave says:

    EEP, he should of just said “Stuff is socks in my mouth”.
    That’s usually where I draw the line on a high stakes wager.
    I can see his pants not settling well in his belllah!

  16. RagingLion says:

    So what do you think? Do you mix it in with a nice curry and ingest it gradually over the course of week or maybe month? Undyed linen trousers would be a clever get out, though he’s clearly pointing at a pair of jeans in that photo. You might have to cut the pieces up quite small – probably need some scissors rather than a regular cutlery knife.

  17. Premium User Badge

    equatorian says:

    Does he have to eat it all in one go? Because I can see why that wouldn’t be going well with his digestive tract.

    Otherwise, I do so hope that some trousers are promptly eaten. And we get a game out of it!

  18. Felixader says:

    This whole crowd funding thing starts to get out of pants.

  19. sneetch says:

    Woah, I hope there are at least two toilets in that man’s house… otherwise I fear for everyone else who lives with him.

    Also, is he allowed cook the pants? If it’s those jeans then it wouldn’t be too bad, cotton is tasty as I dimly remember from my infancy (well I don’t remember but I am reminded of it too often).

  20. Etherealsteel says:

    A great way to cut down on cost is have the game only through digital distribution (Steam) and only on PC. It costs millions to market in stores and publish physical copies, making it download only lowers production and marketing costs. I think it’s great that Notch and other developers are getting together like this to make a game. If only more developers would do this then maybe more games would be awesome.

  21. Zeewolf says:

    I hope he don’t have to eat the zipper and buttons and stuff. I say that because I care, and because I’ve read far too many “Man dies after internet-wager”-headlines.

  22. MythArcana says:

    $15 million to develop Psychonauts? Did they rent out the Pentagon and buy gold plated keyboards or something?

    • Xocrates says:

      Consider for a moment that Braid, which was made by one guy, is one hour long, and has no voice acting, cost 200.000$ to develop.

    • marcusfell says:

      Also note that cheaply funded games almost always come out a buggy disaster that runs into obscurity.

  23. Diogo Ribeiro says:

    tbh, i never cared much for pat, and i certainly don’t care enough to see him eat his trousers. isn’t this post kinda in “full wut” mode anyway?

  24. clownst0pper says:

    Am I the only person that really hates Notch? He’s an egotistical prick that thrives on publicity that he can’t or won’t ever deliver.

    Don’t shoot me!! *hides*

    • Xocrates says:

      No issues with you finding him an egotistical prick, but what are the issues that he “can’t or won’t deliver”? Both him and Schafer have admitted to be negotiating Psychonauts 2, they just noted not to keep our hopes up since it’s not that straightfoward an issue.

  25. Dizzard says:

    Why would you put forward such a promise.

    If I was him I’d be expecting a belly full of denim in my future.

    I’m not saying notch funding Psychonauts 2 will definitely happen….but it doesn’t seem to be just a joke either.

  26. Zankmam says:

    4,917,988 people, as of right now, have bought Minecraft.
    Today it costs 20$
    Before, it was like 10$.

    If all of the purchases were 10$ (and they weren’t), Notch/Mojang earned 49,179,880$.
    Add to that some merchandise profits.
    Take away from the profit money spent on making the game and stuff.
    Remember that the amount earned, once again, is higher. It’s probably past 50,000,000.

    And people say that Notch/Mojang don’t have money? They could easily fund the game.
    Also, I guarantee that it would make back more than they spend on it. If they do something like Minecraft – allow it to be bought during the beta and stuff – it will be even better.

    • marcusfell says:

      Don’t forget the hundreds of thousands that follow him on twitter. That could sell the whole thing right there!

    • malkav11 says:

      This. I mean, it would be a substantial chunk of the Minecraft earnings and might not be the soundest business decision, but I have no idea why people think Notch wouldn’t have the money to begin with. Like you say, at absolute minimum he’s made something like $50 million, and the actual figure is likely to be substantially higher than that.

      Edit: Also, it’s currently $27, not $20, and I think back in the early days the pricing was all in Euros, which are worth substantially more than a US dollar.

    • Saiko Kila says:

      Taxes?

  27. absolofdoom says:

    Self-fulfilling prophecy. Calling it now.

  28. Mario Pajas says:

    What have to do a person to have an opportunity to use his creativity in a capitalist economy.