Bloody Wonderful: DOTA 2 Getting LAN Support, GLaDOS

You might remember that DOTA 2 officially launched not too long ago. This may in part be due to the fact that it's one of the biggest PC games ever, making it difficult to forget about in the same way that a herd of rhinoceroses just kind of hanging out in your living room would at least spend a fair amount of time in your peripheral vision. It is, of course, already quite good, but Valve plans to continue updating it until the Earth molts away its wriggly organic shell, leaving behind naught but dust and roaches. The first step in that process? A (very) soon-to-be-launched update fittingly titled First Blood. It includes LAN play! Also lots of other things, including Portal's own wise-cracking cracker of psyches GLaDOS as an announcer. Details below.

The update's gleaming core is held up by three pillars: LAN play, a Captain's Draft mode in which teams take turns choosing from a pool of randomly selected heroes, and an improved armory with custom filters for things like item type, quality, and rarity.

Meanwhile, the DOTA 2 store will be bolstered by the addition of a Portal pack - which includes GLaDOS as an announcer, Aperture Science Wardcores, and a Portal-themed HUD skin - and various new items (for instance, weapons, masks, and hairstyles) from the community.

So it's not the biggest update ever, but it's a solid start. And honestly, who doesn't appreciate the option to play over a connection that lives in your house's most secret spaces during these brutal, LAN-less times? I have no reason to use it right now, but I'm very, very glad that it's at least there.

First Blood will be available on September 23rd, which will be yesterday in only a few days. You will be a few steps closer to your inevitable end, yes, but at least you'll have some cool new stuff for your videogame. Take solace in that, and then be nice to someone who gravely insults your playstyle/parentage/choice of MOBA (I personally and respectfully prefer LoL, you, um, dooty... faces).