There Is A Flappy Bird MMO Because Of Course There Is

By Nathan Grayson on February 14th, 2014 at 3:00 pm.

If someone ate a million Flappy Birds and vomited them up, this game is what it would look like.

Even in the unassailable heights of the transdimensional RPS tower/luxury cruise liner, we can’t entirely escape Flappy Bird mania. Alec wrote about the wonderful, extremely illuminating Maverick Bird from Terry Cavanagh, and John wrote about Sesame Street, because he is John. And now I too will, with a conflicted heart, contribute to the Internet’s ceaseless parade of flappy fappery. There is a Flappy Bird MMO. Personally, I’m pretty sick of Flappy Bird despite the valuable lessons that can be learned from the way everyone fucked up in regard to approaching it, but this MMO is so preposterous that I couldn’t not post about it. I apologize to everyone, but most of all, I apologize to myself.

It’s a freeware tribute where you just play Flappy Bird – similar look, physics, and all – except there are A BILLION PEOPLE doing it alongside you. Horrible slowdown often ensues, and everything about it is entirely absurd.

It’s akin to watching school after school of desperate salmon swim upstream, only there are pipes everywhere and it is just the dumbest thing. But it’s less of a school and more of a swarm. Tiny birdfish with collective aspirations to block out the sun.

This is the world we live in now. FlappyMMO is a metaphor for the internet post-Flappygate. No matter where you look, no matter how far you run, you will only see Flappy Bird. Colossal eyes that never blink engulfing you in endless pools of perfect white. Pipe forests impeding your every action, your every thought. When you gaze into the Flappy Abyss, it gazes into you. The internet has begun to eat is own tail, and now the end is nigh.

Oh, and you can name your Flappy Bird too. Neat!

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48 Comments »

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  1. Drake Sigar says:

    Can’t get past more than 3 pipes. Story of my life!

    • Ayam says:

      Half asleep on the Jubilee line I saw the Flappy Bird icon, shrugged and flipped it on – in my addled half-eyed state I got 43 pipes clear – either received a silver or a platinum medal. It took the rest of the journey to Stratford for it to sink in.

      • GenBanks says:

        Haha… Weirdly I find that I am better at these sorts of games when I’m not fully focusing on them/overthinking.

        • El Stevo says:

          Right. To get a good score on Flappy Bird you need to be a leaf on the wind. (My best is 182.)

  2. TheIronSky says:

    I have come to accept that this is a part of modern culture that I will never understand.

    • Felixader says:

      It’s simple: it is the humans need for company, the need to be with the others, the me-too need.
      In it’s essence there is nothing wrong with that need. But it can and has been exploited, in the past as in the present.

      • Stardreamer says:

        I think he’s referring to Flappy Bird itself.

        I don’t get it either. WHY IS THIS BIRD-BASED FRUSTRATION GENERATOR NOW A THING BEING TALKED AND TALKED AND TALKED ABOUT???

        • TheIronSky says:

          Yeah, what he said.

          • dE says:

            It’s atleast a good example in terms of social media advertising. The game was mostly dead in the water, untli some famous Youtuber made a screamragefacepalmcam video of it. Then it took off and became something else entirely, almost a meme in itself.

          • vivlo says:

            @dE : for history’s sake, could you name the lad please ?

          • lautalocos says:

            dE:
            actually, it started getting fame some time before he played. he just made the process faster

  3. jaronimoe says:

    this is madness!

    • Skid says:

      Madness? THIS IS FLAPPY BIRD!!!

      …that was what you was after wasn’t it?

  4. swiftshlock says:

    Now I have seen everything.

    Time for the rapture.

  5. Urthman says:

    The game may suck, but I have to admire the pun on Happy Bird (vs. Angry Birds).

  6. Mags says:

    “For each ad you block, a casual flaps into the first pipe.”

    Every time I’m implored to turn off adblock, I personally stuff a sparrow down a drainpipe.

    • TechnicalBen says:

      I turn addblock off on this site the day I’m not greeted by mutilated corpses once I do. That and any other annoyance in an add.

  7. Echo Black says:

    The author is from 4chan’s /v/, and this game was originally posted there 2 days ago

    • Rymosrac says:

      Stop! You’ve violated the law. Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence.

  8. ersetzen says:

    The only actually good Flappy game I have seen so far is Flappy Space Programm: http://corpsmoderne.itch.io/flappy-space-program

    Quite entertaining and stupidly hard…

  9. Maxheadroom says:

    Did any of those iphones with it installed actually sell?

    I’ll have to give myself a proper kicking if they did. I saw it was due to be taken down but still had no inclination to download it on my old beat up ipod4

    Really hope I haven’t done myself out of separating some muppet from several hundred quid

    • Koozer says:

      My brother says a mate of his sold his phone for £5,000 on eBay. I strongly suspect a) he is being lied to or b) the winning bidder does not in fact have an IQ of 7 and won’t pay up.

      • WedgeJAntilles says:

        Like frank said, I couldn’t believe it but my mother’s cousin’s son’s dog made $339324 last month selling iphones with flappy bird on it.

        • Shieldmaiden says:

          I think, hang on, just need to check, yes, yes, yep, you won the internet.

  10. Low Life says:

    Still a better MMO than The Elder Scrolls Online. Take that, Bethesda!

    • Premium User Badge

      Cinek says:

      It’s better MMO then any MMORPG I played.
      But that’s not an achievement, really.

  11. Rao Dao Zao says:

    There’s no need to get in such a flap about all this.

    • shimeril says:

      Oh no. We are going to have it wing it through another pun session.

  12. BLACKOUT-MK2 says:

    I just don’t understand. There are so many better games out there and they don’t receive a fraction of the attention that flappy bird has. I can’t see the appeal in just tapping the screen on a phone. My brain hurts.

    • TimorousBeastie says:

      The random versions going around recently (the last 2 posts at least) are part of a game jam, hence the popularity.

  13. Sarkhan Lol says:

    This is the event horizon of irony.

  14. Shooop says:

    Is this why we can or can’t have nice things?

    I can’t tell. Someone help me.

  15. Solidstate89 says:

    I’ll never, ever, ever understand why this game has such a large following. It’s a horrible fucking game.

  16. TechnicalBen says:

    What everyone fails to notice though, is the game part of it, is a real “game”. It’s akin to trying to get a ball in a hoop kind of gameplay. Down at the real root and depth of the silly app, it’s a really solid game. There are though hundreds if not thousands of other versions and similar games. So it’s design or gameplay does not seem to explain it’s success, else others would meet the same. So it’s either naming convention or other social media that I would assume gave it the sudden success.

    • Premium User Badge

      jrodman says:

      This has more to do with the kinds of games that were common in the 1800s and up to the mid 1900s than any modern idea of a game. It’s a simple one-skill one-note skill challenge. A difficult-to-execute but ultimately shallow experience, similar to ‘shoot the moon’ or a strong man challenge trying to ring the bell by striking a plate with a hammer or any other number of rigged carnival challenges.

      (Aside: It’s not quite as bad a carny game though; you don’t have to pay to lose and then try to win a prize that’s so awful that you lose anyway.)

      But I always hated those games in their physical forms. In this form it seems like there’s even less compelling going on.

    • Premium User Badge

      Cinek says:

      “it’s a really solid game” – no, it’s not.

      my classmate’s half-sister makes such games hourly on the internet . She has been without work for 6 months but last month her income was $18360 just working on these idiotic games for a few hours. read the full info… oh nevermind.

  17. Press X to Gary Busey says:

    If the original single player game makes $50k per day. How much profit potential is there in the f2p mmo version?
    Next up – Flappy Mobabird with in-game flap hats store.

  18. BettyRJanousek says:

    my classmate’s half-sister makes $75 hourly on the internet . She has been without work for 6 months but last month her income was $18360 just working on the internet for a few hours. read the full info here,,,,,,,,http://www.Fizzjob.com

  19. edwardoka says:

    For a few brief moments, my character “FLY YOU FOOLS” and someone by the name of “FUCK THIS GAME” flew together. And it was glorious.