Shameless Abuse of RPS Power: My Brute

My Brute has been nagging at the corners of my consciousness for a while now, but it was Simon Parkin who finally made me play. It’s basically a perversely compulsive cross between Progress Quest and a Pyramid Scheme. You create your brute and then challenge people to fights, going up levels. You also gain XP by getting other people to join, which brings the Pyramid scheme into play. Simon noted that it seemed to be yet more proof that my old line about gaming’s dark secret being that occasionally just seeing a number going up being enough. Worryingly true. Its hyper-cute art style’s another boon. It’s easier to see than actually explain, so go play. You’ll totally beat my Violent Trevor. Despite being level 5, she hasn’t got a weapon yet. Pah.

Yes, this an experiment to see how many pupils posting a link to my brute on a biggish PC games site can get me. And because this has made me hit level 10, you can join the RPS clan! (EDIT: CLAN FILLED! SOMEONE ELSE START ONE) Clearly, post your brute’s name in the comment thread so everyone can fight everyone else.


  1. The Hammer says:

    Yeah. Violent Trevor, which is apparently a girl, just beat Gremkarc. BUMMER

  2. Nutkins Victory Otter says:

    The incentive to join diminishes with every passing second and yet people still sign up in droves. I’m scared.

  3. Chris Evans says:

    link to

    I was nicely beaten twice by Violent Trevor!

  4. Erlam says:

    I lose a lot, and got some weird ability that gives me full agility. It’s almost entirely useless, as I rarely if ever actually avoid an attack.

  5. Kieron Gillen says:

    Erlam: That’s what I’ve got, and has lead me to be beaten up by everyone. But I’ve just got a knife, which I’m doing some insane 4-attack blow thing, so I think it’s helpful there. I think it’ll turn useful eventually.


  6. pootank says:

    Lost 4 of my 6 but got to lvl 2 !

  7. Talisker says:

    If we cross-pupil each other, we can all level up!

  8. kenmcfa says:

    link to !
    I’ve only just signed up
    /me expects several beatings before I’ve figured the game out.

  9. Cradicus says:

    link to

    I got the Thief ability, it’s awesome!

  10. Biff says:

    I have a shield that never saves me!

  11. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Portillo’s Teeth seems to be reasonably competent so far, although some of the opposition are blatantly filthy cheats.

  12. InVinoVeritas says:

    I’ve got that lame shield too… Kieron stomped me pretty bad.

  13. Stew says:

    link to got thumped by Violent Trevor

  14. Theoban says:

    In a stunning display of naming creativity there

  15. Azradesh says:

    link to

    This is fun :D

  16. Wrault says: Fun indeed! One of those weapons would be nice, though. Or a dog to help me fight. Extra strength seems rather boring.

  17. Nero says:

    Sure I guess
    link to
    fear my hairy beast, who got beaten to death by Violent Trevor with a chicken leg.. (or something).

  18. CG says:

    Test your might against the fuzzy, downy bodily hair that is Lanugo!

  19. Sarble says:
    I need some sort of a thing I guess

  20. Sarble says:

    Oooh I have a dog. Woof.

  21. ossi says:
    I have a nice club

  22. Rabbitsoup says:

    suggest we move the train my brute to the forum? anyone else have the club? it hands out major pain.

    a and

  23. Benga says:
    *grits teeth in expectation of beatings*

  24. Sarble says:

    ViolentTrevor truly is a great sensei: link to

  25. CG says:

    So you don’t get xp for surviving fights initiated by others? Thus: a max amount of xp per day corresponding to your number of fights and pupils? Too bad… passive advancement is one of the great pleasures of the RPG style.

  26. Mmmmmmhm says:

    Getting stabbed and then clubbed doesn’t seem fair if all I do is drink at people

  27. Tei says:

    @Mmmmmmhm: hhahahaha… sorry.

  28. Bigfoot_King says: my guy has a trumpet and strangely has never lost a fight without it

  29. Markoff Chaney says:

    Well, 2 out of 6 ain’t bad, right? Erlam and Portillo’s Teeth were no match for MarkoffChaney‘s Speed(and, to a lesser extent, Agility and Strength)!

    Continuing on this thought, I figured I would succumb to my alt-itis and I created Mortala to give it another go. She was endowed by her creators with a natural speed of 10 and a skill called “Bolt of Lightning”. Surely, I thought, she will move so fast that none shall touch her and that my hitting faster than my shadow and biting faster than my enemy would afford me with a greater degree of success. Unfortunately I lost 5 of 6 battles with Mortala. Mortala was, at least, able to kill MarkoffChaney.

    My favorite battle had to be this one in which Erlam exacts his revenge flawlessly. I actually did laugh out loud. :) I think I finally figured out that my speed attribute must be related to how quickly I die as opposed to any type of fast attack prowess it might bestow upon my avatar.

  30. duel says:


    id like to see where this is going, apart from a waste of my time. but this looks like exactly what i need to procrastinate…

  31. Myrth says:

    link to

    Five victories! Booya! Sadly, ViolentTrevor brought the smack down. Thankfully I now have a nice shiny spear, so I will be back to teach her a valuable lesson. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!

  32. CanadianT says:

    Any one else not got any sound?

  33. Sagan says:

    link to

    You’re level 10 now, so go and make that clan.

    edit: Alright I joined your clan.

  34. Tei says:

    “But if I hit level 10, I’ll make a clan for everyone.”

    You are already level 10.

  35. duel says:


    this looks like the perfect thing to help my procrastination…

  36. TelefonHonda says:

    Bestest brute there is, for sure.

  37. Darkflight says:

    link to – I need to steal my friend’s stupidly overpowered hammer

  38. Kieron Gillen says:

    If anyone wants to join the clan, you can do so here.


  39. KaunMoth says:

    link to

    I just keep getting me arse kicked :<