Call Of Fruity: Aubergine Warfare


This morning I have been documenting a fruit and vegetable market in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. I think I was supposed to be rescuing a president or something but the shiny fruit looked more interesting. I don’t mean that as a sick burn or anything. I just got distracted by some nice fruit.

Piled peaches


Ben found this to be hugely symbolic although he declined to say of what.

As in the garden, so in object collision

Peculiarly in love with the matte finish on the aubergines

I have one of these in my fridge

For some reason you aren't allowed to interact with the lemons


I also made a tiny tribute to Kim Kardashian’s sex emoji. It took bloody ages and I had to restart the checkpoint four times because the aubergines and peaches kept not landing quite right and then they disappear after a certain amount it time. LIFE IS DIFFICULT.


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  1. kabic says:

    Best post of 2015!

  2. GenBanks says:

    Counter Strike Source had great fruit and veg. Whole minutes of my life have been spent manipulating virtual bananas.

    • Shinan says:

      Is that what competitive CS commentators mean when they talk about “pushing banana”.

    • Premium User Badge

      samsharp99 says:

      Minutes?! I think cumulatively I’ve spent hours in HL2/CSS/CoD/other games brutally murdering virtual fruit/vegetables/chickens (CALL PETA!).

      Oh…my favourite is ‘dismantling’ computers in CSS – you can shoot the case open, then one-by-one remove components using bullets!

  3. padger says:

    I could eat a peach for hours.

    • zxcasdqwecat says:

      A peach is a peach is a peach.

    • Sulpher says:

      Do I dare to eat a peach? I shall wear flecktarn trousers, and walk upon the beachhead.

  4. thedosbox says:

    Nice balancing act with the peaches!

  5. DelrueOfDetroit says:

    I like to think the number on the scope is Pip’s rating of that fruit or vegetable.

    Just goes to show, Pip doesn’t like it when peaches show off.

  6. Premium User Badge

    particlese says:

    Those tomatoes are suspiciously ripe, but the peaches in that last shot are just completely amazing.

  7. Jiskra says:

    Great screenshots! I bet Mr. President would appriciete them too.

  8. Premium User Badge

    distantlurker says:

    *ringing phone*

    “Yes, Mr. President?”
    “What do you know about aubergines?”
    “Goddamn near everything

    (thank you PA ^^)

  9. Kemuel says:

    This is the quality that keeps me coming back. <3

  10. Undermind_Mike says:

    I hope the artists behind these assets find this and feel really validated

  11. Replikant says:

    The emoji fruit are floating, aren’t they? Is that some sort of clever comment on fruits, emojis and/or life?

  12. Fothers says:

    Is this why you’re such a bad hacker Pip? Was xcom Pip also distracted by fruit?

  13. TheAngriestHobo says:

    I, too, do my produce shopping through the sights of an automatic weapon.

  14. Darth Gangrel says:

    Will they expand on this in the next CoD game and call it Call of Duty: Black Crops?

  15. caff says:

    That cucumber was staring at you rather aggresively.

  16. April March says:

    I knew CoD had gone full science fiction, but I can’t imagine how far in the future it must be if fruit in an open air market all looks that lustrous and shiny.