Steam Charts: Unrefused Offers

As it was prophesied, soon it will come to pass. The Steam Charts approach their endgame: where all sales and all pre-order shenanigans converge to ensure that just one game occupies all top ten placements. Soon, there shall be unity. Terrible, terrible unity.

1. Mafia III

Hey, it’s nice to see a brand new number one! It’s a whole new world!

2. Mafia III

Wait a goddamned minute…

3. Sid Meier’s Civilization VI

OK, phew. Someone at 2K HQ is having champers for breakfast every day this week though, right? Also, do read Adam’s lovely Civ VI diaries.

4. Mafia III

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. Three Mafia IIIs? This is a first. A chilling first. I have no opinions about the game, not having played it yet (although John is full of not particularly impressed opinions about it), but three? What we’re looking at here is pre-orders, post-release standard edition and post-release digital deluxe edition with season pass. I can’t tell you which is which, although I’d guess at 4 being the deluxe version. Honestly, I can see it now: some Call of Duty or Fallout or GTA is gonna launch with a dozen different variants, and that will be that. The same name as far as the eye can see. CAPITALISM WINS.

5. Osiris: New Dawn

Poor old Osiris (y’know, apart from the ‘tons of money’ thing). If it weren’t for all those Mafiases it’d be number 3.

6. Battlerite

That’s what, three weeks here now? It’s doing very well for itself. Which means it’s going to haunt me for at least the rest of the year. We quite like it though, and by ‘we’ I mean the guy we got to cover it for us who doesn’t feel 100 years old whenever he looks at screenshots of it.

7. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

Beneath the constant soundtrack of distant gunshot and explosion, there was only a chilling silence. There was no hope here, barely even life. A scattered few souls gathered around the burned-out husks of what had once been homes, shattered reminders of a better world before this.

Most barely acknowledged each other – just sat hunched around barrel fires, devoid of hope, too broken by all they had seen and, in some cases, done to entertain even the faintest notion that they would ever again know something better than this.

Some days brought muddled news that another settlement had been wiped out. Some days brought survivors from far-off places, the same haunted look in their eyes and pained silence on their lips. Most days, though, were the same. Just making do. Waiting for death.

Today was different.

Sometime around dawn, a wild-eyed figure sprinted into camp, yelling at the top of her lungs. The sound of a raised voice was so unfamiliar as to be shocking: even the deepest sleepers were instantly raised. A congregation formed. What news did this fearful messenger bring? Final doom, or salvation?

“It…it’s coming,” she gasped, almost bent double from exertion.

The crowd eyed each other nervously. What fresh hell?

An old man walked forwards, and tenderly placed an arm on the woman’s trembling shoulder. “What’s coming, dear?”, he asked kindly.

Her head snapped upwards. Her eyes burned into his.

The Vengabus is coming.

8. H1Z1: King of the Kill

I see you, H1Z1. I see you, getting a second crack of the whip. I see you trying to become a charts perennial. Round here, folk like you get the GIFs.

9. Sid Meier’s Civilization VI

This is either the preposterously-priced £70 ‘Digital Deluxe Edition’ (“includes the full base game, the 25th Anniversary Digital Soundtrack, and access to four post-launch DLC packs that will add new maps, scenarios, civilizations and leaders”, FYI) or the only-a-couple-of-quid-more base game + Steam controller bundle. Either way, that’s a massive chunk of change for this many people to be spending at once. Civ retains serious clout.

10. Dying Light: The Following – Enhanced Edition

Here only because of our Adam Smith’s recent Twitter-based recommendation of Dying Light as something of a diamond in the rough. Oh, and a sale, probably.

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31 Comments

  1. Talahar says:

    So…. Am I the only one who misses the gifs? :(

  2. Premium User Badge

    distantlurker says:

    *tut* you wait 6 years and then 3 come along at once.

  3. int says:

    The uncanniness of the valley of the first picture is so uncanny it reminds me of a valley that has been completely relinquished of cans.

    • Zenicetus says:

      The facial animations in Mafia III actually aren’t too bad. Better than the stiff faces in DX Mankind Divided, not as good as Witcher 3.

      But those teeth… There’s something off about all the characters’ teeth, not just the main guy here. Too much space between each tooth or something. They’re all a bit scary.

      • Darth Gangrel says:

        I first thought the main guy looked like a vampire or a predatory animal with those teeth, they look slanted or seemingly at different lengths unless you look exactly at them.

  4. grimdanfango says:

    “Never preorder”
    – a mantra that, apparently, sodding nobody lives by.
    *sigh*

    I’m actually interested in Civ 6, but come on, why the hell validate them by throwing £50 at a goddamn basic edition preorder?!
    I’ll at least wait until I can get it for the more reasonable sum of £30 – ie, what PC games that don’t exploit their captive audience cost.

    • Premium User Badge

      keefybabe says:

      Sadly also why game developers concentrate on console first. Most people (clearly not all but most) wait for a 75% off steam sale but the PS4/XBONE people will pay full price.

      Bah.

      • JHVDH says:

        Well, you Brits have either been paying much less than us Americans, or the Pound really has fallen that far.

        PC Games are often $60 in the US, especially AAA games. With the current conversion rate that 49.98 Pounds (sorry, don’t know how to produce the symbol on my American keyboard). So you’re paying the same as the rest of us. Sorry to break it to you.

        • invitro says:

          Pro tip: copy-and-paste the pound symbol. Example: no game is worth £666.

          • JHVDH says:

            Cut-and-paste. Honestly can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Look at all the ££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££!

    • Premium User Badge

      X_kot says:

      Sorry, friend, Civilization is one of those franchises that I will lay down money for each iteration, sight unseen. I even paid the extra weregeld for the deluxe edition. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

  5. melnificent says:

    Does that mean everyone has GTA V now? :)

    • DuncUK says:

      No, it means that the people that buy copies of GTA V every week have this week decided to buy all three versions of Mafia III instead.

    • eeguest says:

      We need a noticeable absences list. How else you would know you are missing something?

    • Mr Bismarck says:

      I didn’t buy GTAV yet. Nobody tell Rockstar. I don’t want their Non-Aligned Purchase Decision Investigation Division to find out.

      • kud13 says:

        I didn’t buy GTA 5 either. Moreover, I never played 3 to completion (yet), so I have no intention of playing 5.

        The “3rd person open-world games” section on my backlog includes the GTA 3 trilogy, followed by Saints Row 2 + 3, LA Noire, sleeping dogs, and then Watch_Dogs- eventually, but not any time soon.

    • Cyrus says:

      I’m still unaccounted for in that regard. Some day.

    • harley9699 says:

      Almost had a heart attack when I saw no GTA V! No gifs. No smart-assey remarks. No eye-rolley comments. Maybe Mafia III will run its course quickly, so RPS’s beloved GTA V can return.

  6. mpk says:

    Fucking vengabus…

  7. Pravin Lal's Nuclear Arsenal says:

    *Gasp* link to 40.media.tumblr.com

  8. Premium User Badge

    AutonomyLost says:

    Dying Light is quite a little gem. Love that game. I can only imagine how well the developers will craft the inevitable sequel, having crafted such a sleeper with the first.

  9. iRaphi says:

    The Cs GO part gave me goose bumps (thumbs up)

  10. Premium User Badge

    Herzog says:

    RPS staff really should try Battlerite! It’s great fun – Alice&Pip vs Alec&John – let the battle begin!

  11. Chorltonwheelie says:

    CS-GO is constantly in the charts because it’s a great game. GTA V is constantly in the charts because it’s a great game.
    Imagine walking into your favourite bookshop and they didn’t have any classics on the shelves. Imagine no Dickens, no Dostoyevsky because all we wanted was novelty.
    Others will come and these two will eventually bob gently under the surface still saying hello occasionally when the zeitgeist allows. Think Mario, Defender or HL…get a sense of perspective.
    New Order’s Blue monday featured in John Peel’s Festive 50 for fucking years. That didn’t make it shit and not worth listening to now.

  12. Oddzelot says:

    Alec big honors for you on the cs:go piece. Reading this section regularly, but this vengabus took me bye bloody surprise. Made my day. Couldnt stop laughing for five min. Big thank you for this long prepared pointe.
    My heart goes boom boom boom !!!

  13. racccoon says:

    Lol the same wins 3 times! Makes no sense at all as its the ONE game all the ways its sold.
    What a mess Steam is..

  14. welverin says:

    More like number seven please.

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