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Steam Charts: Unrefused Offers

As it was prophesied, soon it will come to pass. The Steam Charts approach their endgame: where all sales and all pre-order shenanigans converge to ensure that just one game occupies all top ten placements. Soon, there shall be unity. Terrible, terrible unity.

1. Mafia III

Hey, it’s nice to see a brand new number one! It’s a whole new world!

2. Mafia III

Wait a goddamned minute…

3. Sid Meier’s Civilization VI

OK, phew. Someone at 2K HQ is having champers for breakfast every day this week though, right? Also, do read Adam’s lovely Civ VI diaries.

4. Mafia III

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. Three Mafia IIIs? This is a first. A chilling first. I have no opinions about the game, not having played it yet (although John is full of not particularly impressed opinions about it), but three? What we’re looking at here is pre-orders, post-release standard edition and post-release digital deluxe edition with season pass. I can’t tell you which is which, although I’d guess at 4 being the deluxe version. Honestly, I can see it now: some Call of Duty or Fallout or GTA is gonna launch with a dozen different variants, and that will be that. The same name as far as the eye can see. CAPITALISM WINS.

5. Osiris: New Dawn

Poor old Osiris (y’know, apart from the ‘tons of money’ thing). If it weren’t for all those Mafiases it’d be number 3.

6. Battlerite

That’s what, three weeks here now? It’s doing very well for itself. Which means it’s going to haunt me for at least the rest of the year. We quite like it though, and by ‘we’ I mean the guy we got to cover it for us who doesn’t feel 100 years old whenever he looks at screenshots of it.

7. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

Beneath the constant soundtrack of distant gunshot and explosion, there was only a chilling silence. There was no hope here, barely even life. A scattered few souls gathered around the burned-out husks of what had once been homes, shattered reminders of a better world before this.

Most barely acknowledged each other – just sat hunched around barrel fires, devoid of hope, too broken by all they had seen and, in some cases, done to entertain even the faintest notion that they would ever again know something better than this.

Some days brought muddled news that another settlement had been wiped out. Some days brought survivors from far-off places, the same haunted look in their eyes and pained silence on their lips. Most days, though, were the same. Just making do. Waiting for death.

Today was different.

Sometime around dawn, a wild-eyed figure sprinted into camp, yelling at the top of her lungs. The sound of a raised voice was so unfamiliar as to be shocking: even the deepest sleepers were instantly raised. A congregation formed. What news did this fearful messenger bring? Final doom, or salvation?

“It…it’s coming,” she gasped, almost bent double from exertion.

The crowd eyed each other nervously. What fresh hell?

An old man walked forwards, and tenderly placed an arm on the woman’s trembling shoulder. “What’s coming, dear?”, he asked kindly.

Her head snapped upwards. Her eyes burned into his.

The Vengabus is coming.

8. H1Z1: King of the Kill

I see you, H1Z1. I see you, getting a second crack of the whip. I see you trying to become a charts perennial. Round here, folk like you get the GIFs.

9. Sid Meier’s Civilization VI

This is either the preposterously-priced £70 ‘Digital Deluxe Edition’ (“includes the full base game, the 25th Anniversary Digital Soundtrack, and access to four post-launch DLC packs that will add new maps, scenarios, civilizations and leaders”, FYI) or the only-a-couple-of-quid-more base game + Steam controller bundle. Either way, that’s a massive chunk of change for this many people to be spending at once. Civ retains serious clout.

10. Dying Light: The Following – Enhanced Edition

Here only because of our Adam Smith’s recent Twitter-based recommendation of Dying Light as something of a diamond in the rough. Oh, and a sale, probably.

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