Genital Jousting’s final cut thrusts into the limelight with story mode

Genital Jousting

Everyone loves a good dick joke, but Broforce studio Free Lives’ Genital Jousting is something else. It’s bizarrely visceral and meaty in a way that comedy schlongs rarely are. It feels a world away from the twirling phalluses of Mount Your Friends, with meat slapping against meat with uncanny gusto, accompanied by some quite unsettling Foley work.

Free Lives realize this, to some degree, and have attempted to put fears to rest and defuse some difficult questions with an extensive Q&A. It’s a complex, thorny thing and one I’m not especially willing to deep-dive into. What’s less complex is that the game has left early access and properly launched, including a solo story mode, as unusual as that sounds.

Originally flopping on to early access as a purely multiplayer game, the long and short (although not very hard) of Genital Jousting has always been it’s anarchic, competitive online challenge mode. The meat and potatoes of gameplay involves slinging your digital Johnson around the screen, attempting to thrust the tip of your wang into the testicular anuses of other players. It’s easy to see how the game could be read as problematic (and due to its high tallywhacker quotient is already banned from Twitch), but the sheer absurdity of disembodied, anatomically baffling cocks hurling themselves at each other renders the experience more surreal than disturbing.

That said, the story mode seems to be an especially unusual addition to the package. You play as John, a penis in a world of penises. John must complete his morning routine; eat, drink, go to the toilet, get to work, complete chores and eventually find love, all through the time-honored means of hurling physics-driven objects around a computer screen until things fall into place long enough to look like an adequate solution. Plus, more thrusting of Tab A into Slot B. While more structured than the likes of Goat Simulator, it does seem to fall into the broad genre definition of ‘fumblecore’.

Genital Jousting is available via Steam and Humble for around £5/$7, although it seems to be somewhat cheaper via Humble at present. It is of absolutely no surprise to man nor beast that the game is published by Devolver Digital.


  1. Meat Circus says:

    That Q&A is a masterpiece of self-important pseudery.

    One does not need to justify the existence of knob gags.

    • Lars Westergren says:

      I appreciated that they had it there.

      If people are uncertain that a joke is meant for them to laugh with or be laughed at, it’s nice of the creators to be explicit about “it’s laughing with, if you think we failed at it please let us know, we are listening”.

      That’s not self-important, it’s being kind of awesome actually. The world needs more of that.

      • DoctorDaddy says:

        I also was glad of their Q&A. Hearing some of the thought process behind their mechanics (and what those mechanics imply about sexual mores) made me significantly more interested in the title.

    • Jekadu says:

      I disagree. Sexuality and consent are important topics and the developers evidently care deeply about the subject.

  2. stringerdell says:

    That Q&A is really embarrassing, making a crass joke then writing a huge hand wringing essay on how you hope you did your part to deconstruct gender norms.

    If your first thought upon seeing a bunch of floppy, gouraud shaded dicks bumping into each other is ‘its easy to see how this could be read as problematic’ you honestly might need to lighten up a bit.

    • Jekadu says:

      The goal is to, er, penetrate other player’s big, floppy, Gouraud-shaded dicks while avoiding being penetrated yourself.

      It’s very easy to get this wrong and make it an edgelord game.

      • Jekadu says:

        Correction: according to the linked Q&A being penetrated is not necessarily a bad thing. The developers are aware that most players will assume it is, though, and the mechanics are designed around subverting that assumption.

        I’ll have to give it a shot.

  3. KingFunk says:

    They should include a two player co-op mode called Your Cock-up, My Arse.

  4. Scobie says:

    Interesting that some of the dicks are circumcised and some aren’t. That’s attention to detail right there.

  5. racccoon says:

    Seems they used this purely for marketing purposes as they don’t seem to show much else at being good game devs, other than being disgustingly repulsive, I think this needs to classified cartoon porn.
    I’m quiet shocked its on Steam but Steam is always in for a buck. It seems Steams living up to itself preferring dicks on its tool. lol

    • Jekadu says:

      It can be inferred from the Q&A that they made it because their previous game sold well and they were thus able to make something this unusual without having to compromise on their vision.

    • UnConsolable says:

      “they don’t seem to show much else at being good game devs, other than being disgustingly repulsive” – The developers that made BroForce“don’t seem to show much else at being good game devs” – ??? –
      “…other than being disgustingly repulsive”
      And people try to claim there’s no such thing as a wrong opinion.

  6. Douzéju says:

    The story mode has much more to say than many other games around the market. We’re almost into Frog Fractions territory here.
    Play it.