The Three-And-A-Half April Fools Which Did Not Make Me Want To Scream Or Resign Or Yank Out My Internet Connection And Go Back To Bed

It is April Fools' Day. I hate April Fools' Day. You get one or two good pranks or jokes if you're lucky but in general it is this awful slurry of lazy lies and boring memes masquerading as humour. If I wanted that I would phone my sister. She sometimes just tells me that she uses teabags instead of bath salts or that you need to set the oven to a temperature the oven doesn't go up to as the pre-heating instructions for dinner and then laughs and laughs when you are confused. And at least she's not marketing a videogame.