It's been six long years since Cardboard Children began here on the world's best computer games website, and it's time for the column to come to an end. Yes, I've packed my bags, and I'm standing by the RPS door, ready to leave. My hand is on the doorknob. But before I go, I'd like to point you towards some of my favourite pieces during the run, so we can all have a little nostalgia trip together.
So why is it the end? Well, there's really no need for Cardboard Children anymore. When this column started, there weren't that many people reviewing board games. But these days it's almost like a little industry of its own – there are entire networks of people reviewing these games now, my goodness, and so you are all very well served indeed. There's no need for me to be here, really, other than to add my own voice to the pack. And that's not really necessary, I don't think.
I'd like to apologise for a few things. First of all, I'd like to apologise for constantly saying I'd do one thing then doing another. I'd promise to review one game next week, then another would appear instead. I'd promise to transform the column into an existential review column written under the dark influence of a sentient tree, and then do a joke column about wasps or something instead. I suppose I just always saw this column as a playful space, and I played in it.
I'd also like to apologise for costing you all so much money with my amazing recommendations.
I leave you with a selection of my favourite pieces. This isn't really me blowing my own trumpet here - it's more like me inviting you upstairs to look at my trumpets in case you missed them.
THIS was maybe the funniest column I wrote - and it's a review of the great Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective.
THIS ONE is an experimental column reviewing a game that didn't exist. Except, it DOES exist, right?
HERE I attempted to review dice. Yes, dice. I really like this one.
THIS ONE is about Fighting Fantasy books and the death of my mother.
HERE is a link to my Top 50 Boardgames of All Time videos, directed by my wee lassie. And these were a blast to make. And let's be honest, they're cute. The list is out of date now, though. So many changes.
AND THIS is a statement about games, why we play them, and probably the best thing I did here.
And - look, hey, I did loads of other stuff too. Six years, every week? Must be close to 300 columns. I'm sure there's plenty of old stuff for you to dig into and enjoy if you fancy pouring a little liquor on the Cardboard Children grave.
So, this is the end. I'd like to thank everybody at RPS over the years for making me feel like part of the team, and for letting me write whatever I wanted. I'd like to thank you readers, too, for many kind comments over these hundred of weeks. Thanks for indulging my nonsense.
Where now for me? Well...
I'm doing a little project with my daughter called Land Of Excitement. It's a blog that she edits and I just write for. And we'll be talking about all sorts of exciting things, including board games, video games, toys, films and such. And it's a family friendly blog that kids and parents can safely check out. My wee girl is 9, and she's excited to run her own wee site and work on some writing about the things she enjoys. And I'm excited to be working for her. So, if you want to keep an eye on my opinions on board games and stuff, that's where you'll find me! There will also be other stuff there too, including videos and silly things. It'd be sweet if you checked us out from time to time. We've also got a little Patreon RIGHT HERE to support it, for reasons I explain over there.
And now, that is it. I'll leave the final word to my good friend, Solomon Kane star James Purefoy.
"Hi, James Purefoy here. It's amazing to think that my friend Rab has spent six years of his life writing this nonsense about kids toys. In that same space of time I've been in numerous films and played the villain in a hit US TV show. I have nothing but respect for his commitment to his readers. Now, if you'll excuse me, this jetpack won't fly itself to the Playboy Mansion. Farewell! And Stay Dicey!"