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Cardboard Children - NEWSNEWSNEWS

horrendously beautiful

Hello youse.

And hello news! I haven't done a news update in a while, so before I give you your shopping list next week, let's take a look at everything that's shaking down in the great old world of boardgames. I know what you're thinking. “There can't possibly be more news! There was news just a couple of months ago!” And there was a time when, yeah, you'd have been right. But we're in the middle of a- Oh, let's continue this after you click the thingy to read more of this after the thingy.


Yeah, anyway, as I was saying – we're in the middle of a BOOM. There are games flying left, right and centre, and it's actually impossible to keep up without digging in and finding out what's been happening on a semi-regular basis. I remember when a new board game would come out maybe, oh I dunno, once every seven years. But these days? These days? It's CRAZY. Some notable stuff this week, so I had to tell ya.


Eldritch Horror is now on sale! I haven't played it yet. No-one has. Actually, that's a lie. Lots of people have played it. And the word is good. Well, mainly good. The word is weird. The word is confusing, for me at least. You'll remember that I covered Arkham Horror on these pages in the past. In fact, here's the link - Well, this is another go-around at the Lovecraft theme by the good people at Fantasy Flight Games, and it seems to be a far less complicated affair. To be fair, open heart surgery is less complicated than Arkham Horror.

This game takes a zoomed out view of the whole Lovecraft Mythos stuff, with a globe-trotting feel, and a more “storytelling” vibe than the system-heavy Arkham Horror. It looks interesting, but I'm not sure if it's going to be essential stuff for a guy like me who is kinda sorta going steady with the horrendously beautiful clunkiness of Arkham Horror. I mean, who is this game for? I'm confused. Is it for the Arkham Horror fan? Or the Arkham Horror hater? I've said “Arkham Horror” a lot, haven't I? Let's say it again.

“Arkham Horror”.

Anyway, take a look at this little overview of Eldritch Horror. It might prove to be a better starting point for your Lovecraft gaming than Arkham Horror. I said it again!


While we're talking about Fantasy Flight and Lovecraft and while we're talking about those things on a PC website, it might be worth telling you that Elder Sign: Omens is now available on Steam! What do you mean you don't know what it is? It's the PC version of a dice game that some people swear by and some people just shrug and walk away from. You roll some dice, generate some symbols, and decide how to use those symbols. You're doing that usual Lovecraftian thang – trying to stop a big bastard from waking up and destroying all life in the universe and so on and so forth. Except with dice. Except this time not with dice. And you can try it on Steam right now.

If it's any good, let me know. I've played the physical version and... Yeah, let me know.


Do you remember me telling you about the brilliant Coup? I told you about a year ago. What do you mean you don't remember? That little game is fantastic, but the first edition had a small print run and a lot of people didn't manage to grab it. The good(ish) news is that there is a fancy(ish) new edition of the game that has been re-themed to fit in with the exciting(ish) Resistance Universe!

Okay, yes, I know you have no idea what the “Resistance Universe” is. Neither do I, and I've played the game set in that universe. It's a good game too, but it's not the kind of game that generates a “universe”. What are they talking about with this “Resistance Universe” nonsense? Thanks for reading this column set in my “Cardboard Children Universe”.

Anyway, it's still Coup, and it's still a fantastic game of bluffing. It's a better game than The Resistance, I think. And while I prefer the artwork and theme of the original edition, this edition will do you very nicely if you missed out last time.

I won't warn you again, idiot. BUY COUP.


I just want to get this in here quickly. If you're in the UK, you'll probably see a board game called The Really Nasty Horse Racing Game springing up in shops over the Christmas period. It's the kind of thing you'd see in the GIFTS section in Debenhams and such. And you'll think to yourself - “Wow, I bet that game is shit. I bet Rab Florence who does that Cardboard Children column and who is generally just a bit of a legend would laugh at me if I bought this game.”

Shhh. Shhh. Do not put words into my mouth.

I want to wink at you and tell you that in ACTUAL FACT, The Really Nasty Horse Racing Game is a lot of fun. It's a trashy, messy, silly game that families will enjoy. And hey, it's actually VERY nasty. Some would say REALLY nasty. Pretty cut-throat. And fun. You know, there are certain gamers in the USA who have IMPORTED this game. It's not brilliant or anything, but if you see it for twenty quid while you're doing your Christmas shopping, why not treat yourself? It'll probably out-perform your expectations.

I don't know anything about the Really Nasty Motor Racing Game because I haven't played it and cars are shit.


And finally, while we're talking about games that exceeded expectations – Gears of War: The Board Game has been reprinted. It's better than the video game, that's for sure. It's challenging, smart and attractive. And it has been missing from the shelves for a while, so don't miss out on picking it up. I never reviewed this one, but it's a thumbs-up from me!


My HARDCORE Christmas List is coming next Tuesday. Save your pennies and...

STAY DICEY! (Going off this again.)

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