Have You Played... Destruction Derby 2?

I have vague recollections of playing Destruction Derby 2. I was very young at the time. That age where you stick your discarded, rotting teeth under your pillow and get a quid in return. Not a bad deal in hindsight.

My memories are hazy, but they radiate a sort of chaotic happiness. This is a game where you drive a wedge of a car at blistering speeds around a racetrack and bash into other cars. As you’d expect, the graphics are old and mushy, but I’m fond of the way rocks resemble golden, crinkled Ferrero Rocher packages and debris chips off bumpers in a way that reminds me of those empty crisp packets folded into triangles you’d find in the hands of that one kid in your class.

Of course, metal pounds in the background as you lash across the tarmac and there’s an announcer who yells “WOW, TOTAL DESTRUCTION” like Jerry "The King" Lawler when you create a big pile up. And I very much enjoy a large pile up.

There was this one track where the road constricts into this funnel of doom. I remember purposefully parking my car right in the middle and watching as the AI slammed into my trap, over and over again. It was so funny to me back then. Still is now.