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Posts tagged “The Elitist”

Feature: Seeking adventure? Come with us...

The Elitist: Swimming with the Thargoids

The empty space of Elite Dangerous has become slightly less empty since my previous misadventures across the galaxy. With this in mind, I've returned to the joystick-waggling spaceship sim, hoping to check out the fresh nonsense. Last time, we saw some surprisingly malleable character customisation. Today, it’s a two-for-one. I’m off to see some aliens, but I’m also taking a tourist with me.

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Feature: Fwoop!

The Elitist: Warping back to Elite Dangerous

A photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks him: “Any luggage, sir?” “No,” he says, “I’m travelling light.” This is just one of the jokes pilots were broadcasting over the comms channel as I collected my wages in Grant Dock. There was one joke about the Higgs boson walking into a bar, or maybe it was a synagogue, I don’t remember. All I…

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Feature: Dog Eat Dog

The Elitist, Part Five: Hunting Dogs

Brendan continues his life as space misfit in our Elite Dangerous Diary. In this final entry, he finds himself settling down among the stars with a steady delivery job. But how long can the simple life last? There she is, the Asp Explorer. A gargantuan beast of a spaceship, she is able to blast every wannabe outlaw out of the sky and still jump 10…

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Feature: Space Cowboy

The Elitist, Part Four: Spacer, Miner, Robber, Jerk

Brendan’s misadventures in deep space continue in our Elite: Dangerous diary. This week, he tries out the new features of Elite's Beta 3.0. I was lounging in Alison City station listening to to the Lauren Laverne show when the call came in. I say “when the call came in” to give you the image of a space rat in his natural habitat, feet up on…

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Feature: Fight The Law And Run

The Elitist, Part Three: Picking A Fight

Brendan’s misadventures in deep space continue in our Elite: Dangerous diary. This week, he gears up for some risky bounty hunting and runs into his old foes, the space police. It was the silence that worried me. I had dropped out of warp into a pocket of space marked on my navigation chart as a ‘High Intensity Combat Zone’, and yet when I looked into…

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Feature: Interstellar Bum Jokes

The Elitist, Part Two: The Exploratory Romp

Brendan continues on his journey through space in this series on Elite: Dangerous. This week, he sets out to discover strange new worlds, in search of profit and prestige. Well, here we are. The rickety, unsanctioned outposts of the Gamma Serpentis system, where dismantled shipwrecks lie opposite a huge skull mural painted, somehow, in Zero G. I’m sitting on landing pad number 1 of the…

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Feature: Interstellar Bum

The Elitist, Part One: How To Make Money In Space

Elite: Dangerous was recently updated with some new features. Brendan takes us on a journey through space in this new series, where he will be exploring faraway stars and getting into trouble with the space police. My first mistake was packing my cargo hold full of stolen explosives. My second mistake was trying to fly that cargo full of explosives, at high speed and with…

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