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Without TV I have become fixated on the shipping lane outside my house

I like big boats and I cannot lie

Regular readers will know that I have been complaining about moving to another country for some time. This move has now happened, but if you were hoping for an update on how I am getting on with a massive virtual jigsaw, you will be disappointed. Everything I own (bar the suitcase of clothes Mr. Ryanair allowed on the plane) has been held by customs. More monstrous is that my stuff actually cleared customs, but some absolute head-melter unrelated to me or my boxes of pens - and who, I am choosing to assume, tried to ship a load of high grade cocaine into Ireland - got the entire container stopped in Dublin.

This means that I have been without any TV for two weeks. Nor any books, video games, or even my big bag of crochet. We didn't get internet until two days ago. It is only by the grace of a technician looking at an HDMI cable stuck in our wall jack, stroking his chin, and then yanking the cable really hard that I'm talking to you now. In those two weeks, I discovered I am weak. But by a stroke of complete luck the new flat faces an busy shipping lane in an estuary. So I have also discovered a deep love for big boats and VesselFinder.

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Alice Bell: Small person powered by tea and books; RPS's dep ed 2018-2024. Send her etymological facts and cool horror or puzzle games.
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