10 Awful Things I Saw In The First Hour Of 007 Legends

By Alec Meer on November 12th, 2012 at 5:00 pm.

And number 11 is...

Skyfall has becom the biggest-grossing, most heavily product-placed and most three-completely-different-films-mashed-together Bond movie of all time. Clearly then, the recently-released tie-in game must be a thoughtful, high-budget affair with a long development cycle and the upmost understanding of what makes Bond Bond. Clearly. 007 Legends essentially retells older Bold adventures but as starring Daniel ‘Mini-Hulk’ Craig and a raft of more modern technology. I knew in my bones that this would be a faithful and careful recreation of the cavalier Secret Agent fantasy, and definitely not a mucky, ugly, by the numbers first-person shooter whose PC version was less console port and more console diarrhea that had accidentally dribbled onto PC.

I put on my best (only) bowtie and went in. Here’s what I discovered in my first and only foray into 007 Legends. Would it leave me shaken or stirred lol zing etc?

1. After a short cutscene based on the opening cliffhanger of Skyfall, we segue into a flashback to Goldfinger. Jill Masterson’s horrifying, iconic, death-by-paint scene rather loses its impact when it’s accompanied by immediate product placement for a Sony Xperia phone, which you must pick up from near Masterson’s limp, gilded hand, gaze carefully at the logo of and then take a call on. Bond’s enormous, overtly-logoed Omega watch/motion detector isn’t doing too much for the gravitas either.

2. In theory this is the game running at 1920×1080 (this shot is cropped rather than resized). That blur, that aliasing, the lack of any definition – I’m not convinced. It looks abominable, and as though it’s Star Trek Love Interest-style soft focus throughout. I suspect there’s some upscaling going on, or perhaps it’s that the game’s so retrograde that it made my PC go back in time.

3. All the cool things Bond does – like jumping onto a moving truck or plunging 100 foot in the sea – happen only in cutscenes. In the game itself, he can only shoot, crouch and bunny-hop.

4. Every enemy repeatedly shouts ‘I’m reloading!’ to themselves, regardless of whether they have any chums in range or not. IT’S ALMOST AS THOUGH IT’S A MESSAGE FOR ME.

5. There’s no mouse support in menus, so the game asks for such PC gaming mainstays as Page Up and Page Down while trying to navigate its stodgy weapon upgrade interface.

6. Time to horrible hacking minigame: 20 minutes. This involves yet another big-screen look at a Sony Xperia phone, while trying to modulate two frequency graphs by pressing T,G,U and H. On the plus side, it seemed to solve itself after a few minutes of my aggrieved scrabbling for the right buttons.

7. Bond can be shot by approximately 14 men simultaneously without being in any apparent danger.

8. Daniel Craig provides vocal duties [edit – oh, apparently it’s a Craigalike. Whoops. He’s got the basic impression right, but not much else, in which case], but appears to be reading his lines aloud for the first time and with evident disinterest, with the net result being that One Of Britain’s Most Treasured Actors sounds as though he’s about to fluff an audition for Hollyoaks.

9. During the Goldfinger mission, Bond must locate and follow a trail of nerve gas using a special filter on his SonyTM XperiaTM SmartphoneTM. Fortunately for him, deadly gas looks exactly like a gigantic purple sausage and conveniently hugs against one wall rather than spreads. If he walks into that sausage he’s dead, but if he stands one millimetre to the right of it he’s a-OK. While Bond needs said special filter to see it, enemies are magically aware of exactly where this invisible death-sausage is at all times and avoid it in their looped patrols.

10. The second major level is an insta-fail stealth mission which forces an immediate game-over if you are seen or kill anyone. This despite the fact that Bond just noisily left a mountain of worryingly all-Asian corpses in the room next door, so if Goldfinger and co are somehow unaware that all their men are dead and their base keeps exploding it seems highly unlikely they’d be smart enough to pull off their nefarious plans for world domination anyway. If you like, you could interpret the fact that I abandoned the game upon failing this mission for the first time as faithful, iron man-style roleplaying.

007 Legends is out now. Don’t you bloody dare buy it.

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146 Comments »

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  1. rustybroomhandle says:

    Invisible death sausage…

    I am afraid.

  2. MuscleHorse says:

    Knowing nothing as I do about this game, what is the justification for the modern smartphones etc in the classic film scenarios?

    • Koozer says:

      Because the past is an alien place to these youngsters with their video games, they won’t understand without their gadgets and gizmos and what-have-you’s. Also, product placement.

      • DK says:

        It’s a real shame because stories before mobile phones have an incredible amount of tension. Watch the first season/s of X-Files for example: When you don’t have instant contact with your comrades getting a new piece of information to them in time is instantly thrilling.

        It helps that it also gives an excuse for those moments where people wade into danger without having to resort to artificial stupidity or the-phone-doesn’t-work-here-because-technobabble

        • trjp says:

          Mobile phones/the Internet have ruined drama/suspense – which is why most authors simply set their stuff in the past/future (where devices don’t exist or can be jammed or whatever) or write something else entirely…

          Remember the golden rule tho

          Anything invented before you were 18 has existed forever and is a given
          Anything invented between 18 and 30 is a miracle you cannot upbraid enough
          Anything invented after you’re 30 will destroy society and should be banned

          • kament says:

            On the contrary, I’d say, mobile phones have enriched the palette, created new possibilities. “Why don’t they pick up the phone?” “Dammit, I’m in the middle of something!” “Omg they’re gonna hear it don’t!..” etc. etc.

          • GepardenK says:

            Thrilling phone scene in The Departed begs to differ

          • Jdopus says:

            Don’t blame the technology, you can blame writers clumsy attempts to deal with them. There are plenty of examples of phones and technology being used properly in drama. See: Breaking Bad and The Wire.

            Writers just need to learn to accept them, instead of trying to work around them.

        • Snargelfargen says:

          This also brings up other problems: It’s really difficult to film a scene that features the actor talking into their hand without losing all tension. Same for the actor, who lacks another stage presence to play off of.

          • kament says:

            Imo it’s not that different, except you can’t show all of participants without splitscreen. Outside of that it’s generally the same. As for tension, it’s not face-to-face conversation that creates it, it’s context.

          • JuJuCam says:

            Minor point of information: Many big screen films are scheduled and shot in such a way that the big stars in a shot / reverse shot scene are not being filmed at the same time, and sometimes – not often, but more than you’d expect – one actor is not even present on set while the other plays out half of a dialogue for the tight shot. Playing to absolutely nobody is not a new challenge for any decent actor, indeed it’s a requirement of almost any audition.

            Maintaining tension in a scene where someone is talking on the phone is an important consideration, but it’s not an insurmountable challenge.

          • dee says:

            As a kid I always thought they just had someone read the responses to them.

            You’re right about actors being convincing without any physical cues, I especially admire the ones who are convincing in CG stuff.

        • Premium User Badge

          Chaz says:

          The other problem is, it’s dull to watch people yap away on phones. Couldn’t stand watching 24 because of that, as every 30 seconds some one seemed to be blabbing down a mobile phone. I swear Jack Bauer spent over half of every episode on the phone.

          If it’s not that then it’s the old hacking scene; tappity tap on the keyboard and 5 seconds later, “I’ve just broken into their mainframe, downloading the files now!” I think NCIS is the worst program ever for that; what kind of fantasy world did they dream that program up from?

        • TheTedinator says:

          Sherlock uses phones quite well, I thought.

      • stupid_mcgee says:

        When I was a kid, phones were attached to walls and everyone shared it. You would be talking to your friends and your sister/brother/parents would pick up one of the other phones so they could listen in on your conversation. You had a piece of paper that you would write people’s names and phone numbers down on. Your internet speed was determined by your modem, not your ISP. And I had to walk to school, uphill, both ways. In the snow. And with plagues of locusts…

    • Incredibly_Shallow says:

      The justification is probably that (within the 007 Legends universe) the events in Goldfinger happened in the very recent past (2000s) and not the 1960s.

      • trjp says:

        The justification is that the people behind the Bond films are shills of the first water and will take ANYONE’s money and plunder their ‘so called art’ in that name – have always done, will always do.

        The degree it’s done these days is offensive tho – cinema seats should be free given the level of money they’ve already taken from people

        Pirate a Bond film and make the world a better place – frankly…

      • CobraLad says:

        Which means that this universe Golden Eye is set in 2040 and all jetpack-laser space battles stuff in Bond movies is justified.

    • SkittleDiddler says:

      Product Placement, A.K.A. the bane of my existence as a self-aware video game consumer.

    • Neurotic says:

      Do pay attention 007, it’s the second sentence of the first paragraph (ffs): “007 Legends essentially retells older Bold adventures but as starring Daniel ‘Mini-Hulk’ Craig and a raft of more modern technology.”

  3. Dijeangenie says:

    8. I am pretty sure that Daniel Craig does not do the voice-over – I think its someone called Timothy Watson.

    Nice article though :)

  4. Anguy says:

    I would love to see more “10 Awful Things I Saw In The First Hour Of GameXYZ” or similar articles in the future. Most entertaining to read

    • RobinOttens says:

      Yes, because there aren’t enough top ten lists on the internet these days.

      This one was ok though.

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      Lord Custard Smingleigh says:

      Time-to-crate?

    • Lev Astov says:

      Yes, this was hilarious! There must be other suitably horrible games out there to lambast.

    • trjp says:

      THE most horrifying thing in any game ever – for me at least – occured in Need for Speed: The Run.

      Need for Speed is a driving game yeah?? – always has been, always should be.

      That it should, therefore, include an on-foot chase which uses “Daley Thompson” button pushing and quicktime events is…

      I was genuinely horrified – tho it might be slightly outside the first hour – just – maybe

    • Brun says:

      I think John Walker would be exceptionally talented at writing such articles, no offense to Alec.

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        Fede says:

        I think Alec did a great work, and would be very happy if he were to write another :)

        Also, reads like a (-7)/10.

        • Brun says:

          I think it’s a fine panning as well. However, some of the best “generally negative” opinion pieces/WITs on RPS, have, in my humble opinion, been written by Mr. Walker. References: Dragon Age 2, MW3 WITs.

          That said, I’d love to see more of these as well, regardless of author.

        • Valkyr says:

          -007 you mean

        • Groove says:

          Simply brilliant article. I always have to be careful to not be too negative, but when you’ve got this much product placement you’re kinda asking for it.

  5. RakeShark says:

    Of course. 007 Legends does not drink… does not smoke… does not make love.

    • Skabooga says:

      14 men shooting at Bond simultaneously cannot take him down? I guess this game has wussies galore.

    • tobecooper says:

      Of course. It’s a video game, after all. If it started drinking I would be a bit worried.
      But if it wanted to make love? Man, I’d grab a camera and put the videos on the internet. I’m sure there are people who would find that exciting and would be willing to pay top dollar to see more! ‘Goldfinger’ indeed!

      • RakeShark says:

        Manners tobecooper, I thought you always took your hat off for a lady.

  6. Premium User Badge

    BlackestTea says:

    There IS a thing inside me that awakens whenever somebody tells me with great conviction not to do something. I think it’s called defiance and it makes me do the exact opposite of what more sensible people suggest. Fortunately, invisible death sausages are one of my phobias, so my wallet might be save this time.

    • The Random One says:

      But little did BlackestTea know that an invisible death sausage was hiding… unseen… inside his very wallet! *Twilight Zone music plays*

    • dee says:

      That’s funny, invisible death sausages are one of my fetishes.

      • ColOfNature says:

        Invisible Death Sausage would be a terrible name for a band.

  7. clive dunn says:

    I know people will have different feelings towards this but I’d rather be killed by an invisible sausage than a visible one. The not-knowing would give me a sense of mystery that would maybe offset my imminent death. Knowing it’s a sausage killing me would trivialise my long struggle through life.

  8. President Weasel says:

    LOL ZING FACE

  9. Sean says:

    Is the death-sausage product placement too?

  10. Tei says:

    First image: some QWOP game for the giatse.cx domain.
    Second image: some japanese date simulator.
    Third image: what is call of duty 2 doing here? Confused.

    • LionsPhil says:

      Dear God. He’s horribly, horribly right on all three counts.

      • unsane says:

        My first thought when I saw the first image on the frontpage. B3TA would have a field day with that, no shopping required.

        • Sparkasaurusmex says:

          Didn’t think you could make me laugh harder than “console diarrhea that had accidentally dribbled onto PC” but comparing that first image to interactive goatse did just that.

  11. Linfosoma says:

    “while trying to modulate two frequency graphs by pressing T,G,U and J”

    *Looks at keyboard, looks at screen, makes this face: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rbFYdKWyz-k/UDCaIxLkmWI/AAAAAAAAAOg/aAXMP3BfJUo/s1600/967728_1330903524067_full.png

  12. Lev Astov says:

    #11 is a quicktime goatse?

    • MrLebanon says:

      cannot unsee

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      Lim-Dul says:

      What is wrong with me? I immediately wanted to say the same thing. :-P

    • LintMan says:

      Quicktime goatse should be the #1 reason. And the #2 through #10 reasons. I saw the “Awful Things I Saw” title, looked at the picture, and there goatse was. Damn.

  13. sybrid says:

    So, 7/10 then? I gotta say, this is a fantastic way to review an apparently terrible game. It left me with little doubt as to your opinion.

    Also, when the hell did product placement become a thing in games? I don’t remember Gordon Freeman being all like “Okay guys before we get to fighting these head crabs I need to stop by Home Depot to get a crowbar, now only $18.99. Also make sure to stock those health kits with Tylenol, the only pain medication proven to work on being sprayed with alien goop.”

    • Flint says:

      It’s not really a new phenomenon. Zool & Chupa Chups, the entirety of Cool Spot, sports games and their advert banners around the arenas, etc.

      • LionsPhil says:

        And Pushover. Which was pretty good, really.

        • El_Emmental says:

          My first contact with ridiculous product placement was Biker Mice from Mars on the SNES, the European version had Snickers candy bar all over the game (in the menu, as an upgrade, in the billboards on every level, as a bonus item, etc). It was a pretty good game too.

    • Shuck says:

      I’m almost glad that paid product placement is in games now, given all the unpaid product placement of certain brands that was occurring before (and, more perversely, game makers paying auto-makers for the licensing rights to allow certain vehicles to appear in their games).

    • SkittleDiddler says:

      Homefront, Deus Ex: Human Revolution, and Alan Wake are three more recent games that have blatant product placement. There are surely other examples.

      • The Random One says:

        Homefront’s devs, if you believe their post-mortems, went after real products because they thought it would improve the verosimilarity of their fiction. That they thought using real products instead of expies would be better betrays an absurd lack of imagination, but they didn’t do it for the mullah.

        The only people who think product placement in Alan Wake is blatant are those who didn’t play it and heard something about there being an achievement for watching an ad.

        • SkittleDiddler says:

          By blatant (poor wording on my part), I mean “overt”, which is what product placement is supposed to be doing anyway. All product placement is overt in the sense that consumers are going to see it whether they consciously realize it or not — if that were not the case, companies wouldn’t bother paying for it. There’s a reason large marketing firms employ full-time psychologists.

          As for Alan Wake? One of the game’s major play mechanics is the flashlight. What do you need to power the flashlight? Batteries — Energizer batteries to be precise. That little fact is made pretty obvious in the game by the first time you pick the damn flashlight up. You’ll also find products being shilled for Microsoft, Verizon, and one or two car makers.

          Speaking of Alan Wake, I think I’ll play some more of that tonight. Great game despite the product placement.

    • cheeley says:

      1985, with ‘KP Skips presents Clumsy colin Action Biker”. I played it to death

  14. Jake says:

    I’m not sure about the reloading criticism, that seems like perfectly normal behaviour to me. I’m posting a comment!

  15. ArtyFishal says:

    Repeatedly harping on product placement in a 007 game seems a bit trite. Product placement is a mainstay of the Bond universe.

  16. Eddy9000 says:

    “7. Bond can be shot by approximately 14 men simultaneously without being in any apparent danger.”

    To be fair that’s pretty faithful to the movies.

    • DK says:

      It really isn’t. Bond can be shot *at* by 14 people, who will miss. Bond can be shot by *one* person and even then requires a lot of physical therapy and training.

      • Dances to Podcasts says:

        The problem with multiple people is that they all assume the other guy will get him and they don’t want to carry the moral burden of murder themselves.

      • Gargenville says:

        They came up with an explanation for that phenomenon for the Uncharted series, every shot that ‘hits’ you is just Drake freaking out over near misses, and only the one that kills you was an actual hit. The life meter isn’t a life meter but represents your luck and catlike reflexes or something. Which is why it can recharge, see?

        It would’ve been pretty clever if the game had just had the occasional shootout instead of going full on Gears for twenty minutes at a time.

        • LionsPhil says:

          I have a suspicion that this is what Duke Nukem Forever’s “EGO” bar was supposed to be, too.

        • andytt66 says:

          Pretty sure that’s how the pen-and-paper Dungeons and Dragons worked too. Ever hitpoint was a minot fleshwound.. except the final one.

          Still don’t understand thac0 though.

      • Eddy9000 says:

        You knew what I meant Rain-man.

  17. x1501 says:

    Surprisingly, the game’s Metacritic weighted average is 45 out of 100. I didn’t know that game reviewers could even count that low.

    • Baines says:

      Bond games are kind of a free target. One of those games that reviewers know most readers don’t expect much of, and know that not many readers will try to defend. So reviewers are free to skewer the game. Plus, it gives them a chance to name-drop GoldenEye to show their hardcore gamer cred.

      It’s similar to how Koei’s Dynasty Warriors franchises have long been whipping boys, where “average” suddenly means “4.5/10″ instead of “8/10″, and reviewers copy/paste their text. (Which led to silliness like Gamespot’s negative review of Samurai Warriors 3 talking about the game being set in the wrong time period and wrong country. When Gamespot was roasted for the mistakes, with users questioning whether the reviewer had even played the game, Gamespot silently edited the article and removed all the user comments.)

  18. FlammableD says:

    It’s a shame this is apparently terrible, I actually enjoyed Goldeneye Reloaded for what it was, COD going to a Halloween party as James Bond. Had some fun set pieces and you know what you’re getting gunplay wise. Definitely don’t regret that rental.

  19. Discopanda says:

    Can’t wait to hear the postmortems on this game!

  20. pupsikaso says:

    I’m sure it’s on par with the latest CoD or whatever is the trendy game on consoles now.

  21. The First Door says:

    Might I just say that Quantum of Solace should still win the ‘most product placement ever’ award, even if it is just for the scene where Bond uses a crappy Sony phone with apparently the best camera ever fitted to a mobile phone.

    • Xardas Kane says:

      Ummm, no, because Die Another Day.

      Also, Skyfall is awesome.

      • The First Door says:

        I… didn’t say Skyfall wasn’t awesome. I loved it too!

        I honestly can’t remember much about Die Another Day beyond stupid invisible cars, Madonna and face diamonds.

        • Xardas Kane says:

          No, I just threw that in there cause it had to be said, I didn’t mean to imply you bashed Skyfall ;)

          Die Another Day paraded around the products of 20 different companies who reportedly paid a total of 70 million for that. Casino Royale dropped that number to 8 and it has stayed relatively low since, so I honestly don’t get all the hate towards how Quantum of Solac and Skyfall (unless I am misinterpreting Alec’s words) did it.

          • Brun says:

            The new set of Bonds (post-Craig) has lowered the number but increased the impact of the product placement – the most egregious example being that Bond’s drink of choice is now a Heineken, rather than a Shaken Vodka Martini. It’s the worst example of Bond product placement since Brosnan replaced the Aston Martin with a BMW. I mean really? They couldn’t find a Vodka company and at least kept the drink the same?

          • Koozer says:

            Wait, Bond drinks Heineken now? Jesus Christ.

          • Dances to Podcasts says:

            I saw the movie last week and I don’t even remember the Heineken. I remember the whiskey (well, brown stuff) in Turkey with the thing on the hand and the shaken martini in Macau, but no Heineken. Fine product placement that must’ve been.

          • Lanfranc says:

            The Heineken happened in that beach bar he was hanging out in just after the title sequence. I don’t think there were any others.

            EDIT: More precisely, it was in the scene where he was lying in bed with a girl just before going to the bar.

        • andytt66 says:

          Heat-Seeking Lasers.

  22. Xardas Kane says:

    “Alongside Daniel Craig as James Bond, voiced by Timothy Watson throughout the single player campaign, the vast majority of characters are modelled after their portrayals in the film series”

    Come on RPS…

    EDIT – someone beat me to it, nvm.

  23. pupsikaso says:

    I don’t understand the sudden hate on product placement in these games. Shooters have advertised products of manufacturers like Remington Arms and Heckler & Koch and Magnum Research and Colt Defenses and all other gun manufacturers for YEARS and not once was this ever derided. But as soon as something as pedestrian as a smartphone appears in a video game – SHOCK HORROR RIDICULE…

    Seriously people…

    • Premium User Badge

      Harlander says:

      Gun product placement doesn’t have as much impact in the UK, where most people are unlikely to buy a gun.

    • chewbaccasdad says:

      Come back when a game set in WW2 features HK MP5’s and stealth bombers and we’ll talk.

      • Xardas Kane says:

        That’s a very poor example. For all its faults Legends doesn’t have anything of the sort.

    • Brun says:

      Sometimes product placement can enhance a game by making it feel more realistic, drawing you into it. The gun example you just gave is that kind of product placement in a shooter. Another example might be if Rockstar threw up Coke billboards in Liberty City – they wouldn’t seem out of place there, as those are the kinds of billboard advertisements you would expect to see when driving around a major metropolitan area.

      Most of this stuff is BLATANTLY there as a product placement cash-in, making it very jarring for the player.

      • pupsikaso says:

        Since I haven’t watched the film… you are saying that in the film Bond does NOT use a smartphone to hack doors and do other bizzare stuff with it? That this phone thing is only in the game?

        • x1501 says:

          I don’t know about recent Skyfall, but the bulk of the game consists of missions from Goldfinger (1964), On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969), Moonraker (1979), and Licence to Kill (1989), and those were all about smartphones. Sony Xperia Smartphones©®℠™, to be specific.

        • El_Emmental says:

          Bond using Sony-only products when it comes to anything remotely “hi-tech” is ridiculous, especially when he’s using the “currently marketed” products of Sony.

          James Bond is using a $350 Xperia phones whose entire design is focused on making phone calls using GSM network, connecting on Facebook, texting friends. Seriously ? “check out that nuclear bomb so kewl <3", "wat R u dng Q?", "I feel hurt… […] *I don't want to talk about it*".

          He actually needs a bullet/water/chemicals/explosives-proof, satellite communicating, encrypted to the bone, phone (with a much bigger lens image capture), that would look like a small brick. Same with the VAIO, he isn't using it to watch Youtube videos and browse reddit.

          Sony didn't even tried, they could have made a "Sony 00" laptop, looking all prototypish and futuristic. No, they just put the laptop you can buy at any western supermarket, in the freaking MI6 offices.

          What's next, James Bond drinking some cheap beer ? …

          Product placement was always there, but it was subtle and not with low/middle-class products, James Bond isn't supposed to work with stuff the viewer is already buying on a weekly basis (at least), the "You too can be James Bond by shopping at walmart !" is just crap, that stuff is barely acceptable with kids and plastic toys, how could they do this to grown adults is beyond my comprehension.

          James Bond is supposed to be "that alpha male with all the girls, all the gadgets, defeating all his enemies", not an average Joe drinking beer while eating his pizza in front of the TV, while wearing a wifebeater. That's just bollocks. They want to make it less sexist, to attract the "progressive" and women audience ? Fine, make him less of a "gotta screw them all" and double-check the seduction scenes. It doesn't need to lose all his uniqueness.

          Turning him into an average Joe, acting like a top spy, stuck with supermarket products, is a ridiculous move.

          PS: I saw the movie, enjoyed it, enjoyed how they tried to make a "different" James Bond, how they didn't went too far (most of the time) in each cliché/tropes they used through the movie. But they dropped the whole "I'm classy" part, threw the average-man's trolley in his hands and forgot about the gratuitous destruction (also, no russians, not a single hint) – what's left of James Bond ?

      • The Random One says:

        Really? An advertisement for a real product wouldn’t seem out of place in GTA? Have you ever played a GTA game?

        I was going to say a real ad in GTA would make as much sense as a real ad in MAD magazine, but then I remembered MAD does have real ads now. Curse you capitalism, for ruining my metaphors!

    • SuicideKing says:

      Probably because that feels more realistic (You can relate with an M16 or an MP5, for example), but a phone can just be a phone, right?

      Same for FIFA games: the Adidas or Nike ball/kit/whatever you can unlock makes sense because they sponsor/make this stuff in the real world and their stuff is actually used in matches.

      Same applies to flight sims.

      In a fictional game it’s kind of in-your-face-advertising.

      Imagine if you had…idk, XYZ hat brand in TF2… XD

    • Baines says:

      People tend to want to recognize the guns that they use in games.

      More so when you’ve got several weapons of each type. It is easier to get away with “generic assault rifle” when your game has only one assault rifle. When your game has four, people start to want to know what each rifle is, and beyond gameplay terms of “fires 3 round bursts”, “automatic, but with less range”, “single fire, deadly accurate”, etc. They might be fine with “revolver” or just “handgun”, but they get more identification with and power trip from “Desert Eagle”, “.44 Magnum”, and the like.

      Look at S.T.A.L.K.E.R., and the mods that give the guns their real names.

      The names actually mean something. And more so when developers try to tie their in-game representations with reality.

      You don’t get that same connection with an Xperia phone, at least not until Sony starts including deadly gas vision filters in the Xperia line.

      • pupsikaso says:

        I don’t know man, I don’t think your average gamer has enough love for real life guns to be able to recognize them by name. They know what an MP5 or M4 or M16 or AK47 are, but that’s only because such weapons have been used by name in games since forever and in other media.

        You could, for example, create an accurate model of a Remington 51, call it by the same name, etc, but to the average gamer it would be no different if you simply made any old handgun and called it Madeupname Number5.

        • Baines says:

          There are guns recognized by name, though. Or at the very least, the name is recognized even if the person couldn’t tell you anything particularly specific about the gun.

          And, as games continue to use real gun names, it only helps people recognize those names. Even if they only know an FAL from Call of Duty, they end up recognizing the name if they see it in another game. And because it is a real name, they do see it in other games, unlike different developers using different names for their fictional weapons.

          I’m not saying every game should use real world weapon names. I’m just saying that it is different from a Bond game bludgeoning the player with a Sony Xperia.

  24. neolith says:

    One glance at the first shot and I already don’t like the graphics because nobody bothered to paint the shadow that the watch should cast into the texture for Bond’s arm… :\

  25. Greggh says:

    So… can you say this game scores a… 007?

    Out of 100, of course – you see those ‘0’ paddings, don’t you?

  26. Premium User Badge

    blind_boy_grunt says:

    “4. Every enemy repeatedly shouts ‘I’m reloading!’ to themselves, regardless of whether they have any chums in range or not. IT’S ALMOST AS THOUGH IT’S A MESSAGE FOR ME.”

    made me think of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_ekugPKqFw

  27. thebigJ_A says:

    People go to the movie theater still?

    • SuicideKing says:

      Yeah man. Nice social thing to do. At least in my country.

  28. elmo.dudd says:

    “Bond just noisily left a mountain of worryingly all-Asian corpses in the room next door”
    Are you worried about the fact that you just killed a lot of people, that they didn’t notice the activity, or their skin color? I mean unless this level takes place in a distinctly non-Asian populated region and doesn’t involve fighting a distinctly non-Asian group, it doesn’t seem odd. Places tend to be populated by the groups they originate from, or by the local population. Perhaps we should localize by genetic trends to appease Alec who is unaware of demographics?

    • Ich Will says:

      Goldfinger’s labs are in Switzerland I believe, so yeah, it is a bit odd, but having said that, aren’t all of Goldfinger’s staff Korean in the books?

  29. ZIGS says:

    This article fails to mention the terrible mouse acceleration

    • Premium User Badge

      ffordesoon says:

      Probably because every word of the article is an insult, including the title and subheading, and it ends with an exhortation not to buy the damn thing. Bad mouse acceleration is only something you notice once you’ve bought the game. Which they told you in no uncertain terms not to do.

      Also, given that the port was described as “console diarrhea,” is it really that surprising that the mouse acceleration is terrible? I would take that as a given.

    • Danda says:

      The mouse acceleration is horrible. It’s so hard to hit anyone that you almost wish you could use a controller.

  30. SpaceDrake says:

    “7. Bond can be shot by approximately 14 men simultaneously without being in any apparent danger.”

    To be fair, Alec, this one IS keeping in at least some of the movies. :V

  31. Decimae says:

    The funny thing is that he is using a Motorola phone in the movies, not an Xperia.

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  33. Iskariot says:

    This could be an incredible lucrative gaming franchise. It has so much potential as an action/stealth techno thriller with lots of cool gadgets.
    Who for heaven’s sake is selling these rights to the 007 franchise to produce such shit.

  34. RogB says:

    Repeatedly press A+D to Goatse

  35. psydex says:

    I couldn’t take more than 20min. with this game. The aiming is terrible!
    I usually crank up my sensitivity over the half (i have verry accurate aim) but it doesn’t behave as expected. Looking around is fine but when i try to aim at enemy – suddenly the mouse sensitivity goes super low.

    I didn’t saw any mouse setting other than reverse and sensitivity. Anyone have an idea how to make it behave like… normally?