Posts Tagged ‘the risen report’

Wot I Think: Risen 3 (aka The Risen 3 Report Finale)

By Alec Meer on September 17th, 2014.

What did I think of Risen 3 – Titan Lords, Piranha Bytes’ low fantasy, pirate-themed roleplaying game? I wrote nine diaries about it, primarily focusing on the absurd, and I was variously accused of sneering unreasonably and giving too much attention to something that didn’t warrant it. Both were probably correct, but my riposte to either is that I did it because I was enjoying myself. It’s just that sometimes I was laughing with the game, and sometimes I was laughing at it.

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The Risen 3 Report, Day 9: A Haircut That Means Business

By Alec Meer on September 11th, 2014.

This will be the penultimate Risen 3 Report; the next and final one will be a Wot I Think. I’ve held my cards close to my chest about how I feel about this RPG, and very soon it’s time to reveal all.

Apologies if you wanted these to continue FOREVER or something, but it’s simply time to turn my attention to other games. For now, let’s talk discuss real progress, and forcible haircuts.
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The Risen 3 Report, Day 8: How To Sit Down

By Alec Meer on September 9th, 2014.

The story so far of my adventures in ambitious but cracked roleplaying game Risen 3 is here.

I’m still engaged on my long quest to learn magic, which for some reason involves compiling multiple mining reports for a rather brusque fellow, and it’s been hard work. The kind of work that causes a guy to have to put his feet up every so often. Fortunately, there are no shortage of places to stop and have a good sit on the island of Taranis. Better still, it seems sitting is something of an art form around here. Every placement of buttocks to chair, bench or throne tells a new story.

Let me show you my best moves.
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The Risen 3 Report, Day 7: Shadow Injustice Warrior

By Alec Meer on September 3rd, 2014.

I want to talk about fighting. No funny animals. No testicular adornments. No Matt Berry impersonations. Just good old-fashioned murder.
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The Risen 3 Report, Day 6: The Price Of A Monkey

By Alec Meer on August 28th, 2014.

What price a life? Specifically, what price a simian life? Specifically, what price a helper monkey trained in thievery?
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The Risen 3 Report, Day 5: The World’s Longest Arm Wrestle

By Alec Meer on August 27th, 2014.

The story so far. Now: arm-wrestling.

Four minutes. Four long, boring, exhausting minutes. Am I trolling this guy, or do I just not know how to arm wrestle?
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The Risen 3 Report, Day 4: The Salem Duck Trials

By Alec Meer on August 15th, 2014.

Previously on the Risen 3 Report:

Evil Pirate Porn Star Sisters!
Garth Merenghi’s Dark Arts Place!
Scrotal Fashion!
Several hours of adventuring in the pirate town of Antigua, which I’m not going to tell you about because it was pretty dull!
Now: a suspicious duck.

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The Risen 3 Report, Day 3: Jack The Sack

By Alec Meer on August 14th, 2014.

Once I noticed, I couldn’t stop noticing.

Maybe this needs a not entirely safe for work warning. Very much depends on your workplace, however.
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The Risen 3 Report, Day 2: Voodoo Matt Berry

By Alec Meer on August 13th, 2014.

The good news is that I do now have Risen 3 working on my games PC, and I only had to disable half of the cores in my processor to do it. The bad news is that the events of this second part of the diary were played on crappy laptop integrated graphics before I’d found the fix, so the ugly screenshots will once again destroy your will to live. All will be visually well from part 3 onwards, however.

Part 1 of this series is here, and the Risen 1 Report is here. Plot spoilers in this one, btw.

My freedom did not last. Evil Pirate Porn Star Sister Patty – I’m not sure yet if I’m Selma or Marge – is back at my heels, scoffing and bragging and bellowing impolite assertions about the parentage of passing monkeys, and I’ve got a terrible dilemma on my hands.
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The Risen 3 Report, Day 1: Boobpirate vs Hulk Chicken

By Alec Meer on August 12th, 2014.

Editor’s wibble – I’d hoped to have a full Wot I Think of Risen 3: Titan Lords, Piranha Bytes’ latest openish world RPG by now, but sadly code has been incompatible with my PC. I have been able to play it in short bursts on a laptop with lousy integrated graphics, but there was only so much low-detail 20FPS play I could stand before needing a lie down. However, I am ready to tell of my earliest adventures in its world of pirates, monsters and magic, as The Risen Report returns.

I’m a pirate. I’m on a boat. There’s a fight. I’m on the shore. A beach. An island. A quest for lost treasure. A sister.
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The Complete Risen Report

By Alec Meer on January 3rd, 2012.

I maxed out clothed bathing

In 2009, the bulk of RPG commentary on PC was all Dragon Age this, Dragon Age that. Me, I ended up sinking more time into something rougher, readier, odder, 50% glorious and 50% drudgery. Piranha Byte’s spiritual Gothic sequel Risen was a hell of a place to visit for a time. Here’s my fall and rise and fall again on its peril-packed, amoral island of adventure.
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The Games Of Christmas: December 15th

By RPS on December 15th, 2009.

The photoshopping gets more wearying every day
Christmas is a time to appreciate the under-appreciated. Like rat milk, the later films of Steve Martin, and boating shoes. And, more earnestly, the game that the hand of the one true leader of the Autobots is trepidatiously gesturing toward…
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The Risen Report #6: Grinderman

By Alec Meer on October 21st, 2009.

After 12 hours of adventuring, I’ve finally got a hat. Man, I love hats.

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