What’s next? www.dontcrysisformeargentina.com?

The Crysis Videogame Features Splenditudiral Polygonal Images Of Tanks.
I was passing through the ‘Gaf when I noted some chattering about Incrysis discovering Crytek had registered a new trademark and another website. The name in question? “Crysis Warzone”. Apparently, this brings four marks/sites having been registered – alongside Wazone we have Crysis Warhead, Crysis Wars and the brilliantly suggestive World In Crysis. One of them will clearly be the inevitable console version. Others could just be Crytek not deciding exactly what to call their inevitable console version. But – we suspect – not all of them. Whatever could World In Crysis actually be, eh? Speculation: Go!


  1. Jochen Scheisse says:


  2. darkripper says:

    Crysis: The Musical. That is an interesting spin-off I’d like to play.

  3. Rook says:

    Crysisynthenum – Garden Simulator

  4. Optimaximal says:

    On another note:
    link to crymod.com

    No more updates for Crysis… Piracy scapegoat likely to blame!

    Oh, shamelessly stolen from bluesnews –

    Crysis 2: Cry Harder

  5. Sucram says:

    I’m just glad that there “is a good reason” for them not supporting Crysis any more.

    While they aren’t telling us what this good reason is, I have every confident that it really is a very good reason and not that they want to sell us something new or think that we’re all smelly pirates.

  6. MisterBritish says:

    Making something new is a bad thing?

  7. Jochen Scheisse says:

    As long as you follow the new tradition of leaving something old partially buggy and unbalanced, it can be.

  8. rob says:

    Crysis Crisis: Crysisitis

  9. Ian says:

    They’re probably doing that Nintendo thing of trademarking anything they happen to come up with, just in case.

    Cry(sis) Another Day.

    Or how about a time-travelling game which doesn’t-at-all-sound-like-an-existing-franchise; Time Crysis?

  10. Shanucore says:

    Don’t Cry, Sister, feat. J. J. Cale.

  11. drunkymonkey says:

    Crysis Core!

  12. rob says:

    Mid Life Crysis

  13. Meat Circus says:

    Crysis MMO!

  14. GiGinge says:

    Dino Crysis!

  15. Bob says:

    Jesus Crysis?

  16. drunkymonkey says:

    RPS so needs to set up a “Read Our Finest Puns” list under “Read Our Finest Words.”

    This, and “Conflict: Denied Ops; Allowed Demo” would reign free.

  17. Tomzor! says:

    Final Fantasy VII: Crysis Core?

  18. Ian says:

    @ Bob: “Jesus Crysis” as the name of a computer game has ‘win’ written all over it in big neon letters.

    It’d also be appropriate, as most people will need a miracle to run the game on full spec anyway.

  19. Meat Circus says:

    CRYSIS OF FAITH: Jesus Crysis 2: Cry Some More

  20. Dinger says:

    There is no such thing as a “finest pun.” It’s like “best castration scene”. Superlative examples may abound, but there ain’t nothing good about ’em.

  21. Pidesco says:

    World in Crysis could be the whole planet rendered with Crysis’ engine. It would be the ultimate sandbox game.

  22. The Hammer says:

    Devil May Crysis!

    @Tomzor: Beat ya to it! (er, as drunkymonkey. This is my even more embarrassing (but much more self-mocking) name)

    @Dinger: If everyone started to see puns in the same glorified way that RPS does they’d be no more war! Fact!

  23. Feet says:

    Punning is the epitome of human achievement.

  24. Meat Circus says:

    People who don’t like puns are, in general, those who resent that they’re not smart enough to have made them.

  25. Dinger says:

    A pun is a cannonade without the canon, a reflexive gag without reflection to choke on, a lieutenant where even the basest potty joke rates captain.

  26. Zuffox says:

    That pun is just awful, and you know it, Kieron.

  27. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Crysis In My Pants: The Engorging?

  28. Jonathan says:

    “Cry sis! The game of sibling rivalry.” I’m imagining individually rendered reflections in her tears and visible morphing around where her teddy was garroted in front of her.

    But when they make the console version they’ll probably still lose money just because it cost so much to make. They’ll blame the second hand game industry. And lack of religion in school. And violent video games.

  29. subedii says:

    Cuban missile Crysis.

    A double bill, featuring the red menace from Cuba in league with the blue menace from space!

    Now in horrifying Cryovision!

    Tickets start at $600 please book early to avoid disappointment.

  30. Arsewisely says:

    Far Crysis?
    Nysis – For Kids!

  31. cyrenic says:

    As long as we’re all making terrible puns:

    Crysis: More Noob

  32. Kareem says:

    I have no good (or terrible) Crysis puns, so I’ll tell you about the best pun ever.

    The best pun ever was in a newspaper after a Barcelona match where a stadium collapse scare made people rush out of overcrowded tunnels, but without any deaths. The headline?

    “Too many Basques in one exit.”

  33. Optimaximal says:

    A double bill, featuring the red menace from Cuba in league with the blue menace from space!


  34. malkav11 says:

    Ahem. To actually discuss things, for a moment…

    I know I’m a dirty traitor for saying this, and everything, but I like the console version of Far Cry better. Why? Because the stealth is easier to pursue, there are traps, and you get superpowers. (The inability to aim is a minor sacrifice in comparison to traps and superpowers.) If they were to make similar additions to a console Crysis, I’d be all over it. Though I suppose it’d be trickier, as Crysis already has the superpowers.

  35. Taxman says:

    malkav11 funny you should mention that but I thought Crysis played better with a Xbox 360 gamepad than with keyboard/mouse. The controls for the suit just felt better suited (pun intended) with the kind of gameplay that was in Crysis.

  36. jbrandt says:

    Perhaps one of those is the missing ending to Crysis.

    …ha, fat chance.

  37. Ging says:

    jbrandt: Crysis was always envisaged as a trilogy, a full scale episodic jobby, which is (partly) why it’s missing a “proper” ending.

  38. Saflo says:

    I think it’s about time we stop accepting “It’s meant to be part of a trilogy” as an excuse for bad endings. Get your shit together and make a self-contained game or stop charging full price for each installment.

    And while I’m at it, why do they always – always – have to be trilogies?

  39. John P (Katsumoto) says:

    At the start of Crysis 2 will the alien menace be wiped out, then Korea declare war on the USA, leading to a small-scale conflict over a series of islands threatening to break into an out-right nuclear war, a la Operation Flashpoint? That would be good.

  40. malkav11 says:

    The better reason to have a proper ending, even in a “trilogy” can be seen with Beyond Good and Evil. Okay, so apparently there’s now a sequel underway, but only a few weeks ago, we’d been waiting years with no sequel in sight. Or Shenmue. It’s looking quite unlikely that there will ever be another one of those. Or Xenosaga, which admittedly did manage to squeeze out a trilogy, but was originally envisioned as being six (!) games long.

    Simply put, you have no idea going in whether your game will do well enough to make a sequel financially viable. You have no idea if key members of the team will still be there. You have no idea if the *company* will still be there. Etc.

  41. jbrandt says:

    …and you have no idea if people will have no idea it’s supposed to be a trilogy and will get to the end of the game expecting some kind of closure, only to be shocked when the game abruptly ends without even the courtesy of a “To be continued…” caption, leaving them saying “Wait, what?”

  42. Dorian Cornelius Jasper says:

    Yes, “trilogies in the making” are generally frustrating and annoying to have to live through–much less wait for, when you’ve played part 1 of 3 and are a few years too early for part 2 of 3.

    And Xenosaga was particularly absurd, as well as tragic. If they’d been a bit more reasonable with the pacing, and the ambition, they wouldn’t have had to squeeze three or four games’ worth of plot downtime as the backstory for the effective end of their series.

  43. RichPowers says:

    RPS, you never fail me. In reading this site, I’m constantly punched in the brain by the iron fist of unabashed punnage. And I must be a masochist, because I love it.

    PS: Jesus Crysis made me LOL for what in retrospect seems like an unreasonable amount of time.

  44. Erlam says:

    Crysis of Faith: Belfast Alight?

  45. Chemix says:

    Cry: Bullets
    Cry: Blood
    Cry: Me a River
    Cry: Me an Ocean
    Cry: Till the Last Man Falls
    War Cry
    Crylons: BSG on an island, like LOST, but more to the point
    Crybaby: Armageddon
    Cry: Just fuckin cry
    Cry: Iron Tears
    Cry 2: Lead Tears
    Cry 3: Realistically Rendered Water Tears
    Cry 3: Even Better Tears
    Cry 5: Over Your Purchase/ A.K.A. TRUE CRY- Streets of Panama