The Mighty Quest For Epic Loot

Gosh, Ubisoft likes releasing trailers. Here’s the seventy-ninety-billionth for The Mighty Quest For Epic Loot – the irony-rich game that will walk a tightrope over the precipice of free-to-play. As ever for this game, the trailer is extremely well made, and a little over-confident.

The concept of course looks great – the castle doctrine writ large, in actual castles. You set up trap-laden routes for others to attempt to break through, and of course attempt to break through those of others. The massive risk here is whether its raised eyebrow and genre-poking will succeed, or horribly backfire. Describing the inevitable “Founders Program” – where one pays for a free game – as offering “Double Original Opulencian”, in a game set in Opulencia, is funny right now, but could end up looking pretty awful should the game be a gouge. Obviously we don’t know yet, and rather hope that it’ll prove an exception.

And honestly, it looks pretty decent.


  1. Low Life says:

    Irony, you say?

    • Beernut says:

      Yeah! It’s like goldy and bronzy, only it’s made of iron!

  2. nasenbluten says:

    Yep, ruined completely, either horrible grind or pay for unlocks.

    • RedViv says:

      And it would not even need to be if they were doing it smartly and nicely. Aesthetic packs, rather than buying any kind of upgrade with real monies. Turn the nice fantasy fortress into a Halloween dungeon, a dark gothic cathedral, or similar.
      Because that up there in the trailer, that’s the game I would like to see. It has charm, it has fat loot, it seems fun! Oh well. Here’s hoping they realise what they have done. At least the devs have stated on their twitterings that they are listening to the reaction to that move.

      €: What where is my original post what is happening? This was in reply to nasenbluten above.

  3. Premium User Badge

    It's not me it's you says:

    I got a key for the beta as a thank you (?) for going to Rezzed.

    I played for about 30 mins or so and was.. well not dissapointed as that’d imply I had expectations to begin with, but bored.

    It’s shallow and empty and the piss-take alone really isn’t worth the time. It looks beautiful, shame they forgot to actually make a game with the assets.

    • AngoraFish says:

      I’m in the closed beta. The game is very interesting for a while, however by the mid game there appears to be no significant opportunity for specialisation, and ultimately every castle seems more or less the same.

      On the plus side, the game was very much play to win in the early days, however to their credit the devs seem to be making a genuine attempt to reduce the impact of that.

      I can see this game being a pleasant, casual diversion along the lines of the many web based games that require you to check in once a day, but are otherwise ultimately fairly forgettable.

      Still, the game has potential if they were to introduce more complexity and strategy on the castle building side of things.

  4. SkittleDiddler says:

    The paid packages for this game are insanely expensive. Even given the compulsive spending habits of many consumer-sheep, I don’t see how Ubisoft can expect it to be a massive financial success.

    • trjp says:

      Ironically, because it’s the ‘whales’ – the people who spend BIG – who make F2P games work.

      I’ve been playing this for a while – I think it’s a nice idea, it’s not as grating in the humour dept as I thought it would be (and things like this tend to grate on me) and I actually don’t mind the F2P aspect of it at all.

      It just gets a bit ‘samey’ – the problem is that you’re always raiding the same castle, abeit with a million different layouts – but it’s the same castle.

      If you were to get attached to those integers it has tho – the level and win streak things – you could probably get a kick out of it.

      You might then be tempted to push money into it tho – and I’m not sure that would end well…

    • trjp says:


  5. Dimonte says:

    I quite like it. Not going to play it day in and day out, but it’s a nice thing to dip into for a hour or two, ransack enough money/crystals for the next castle upgrade, and be done with it for a few days.

  6. trjp says:

    I know people will bemoan the F2P bit, but I think this is one game which actually works quite well for it (and it’s not going away no matter how much you moan about it).

    I think too-many people either never had to goto an arcade and feed a machine or have forgotten how that worked – F2P games are simply the modern equivalent and, as with arcades, there are good places to push coins and there are bad.

    Here, you’re mainly paying to kill time – it’s “money or wait patiently” – and I don’t mind that.

    It’s not like the Android puzzle I was playing which actually killed me randomly when it decided I’d not spent enough money (any money) on it. I’d been playing happily for a few days – quite enjoying it – and I noticed I’d start dying without much warning. Looking closer and at a preset time in each puzzle the enemy would get a MASSIVE attack in – my entire healthbar gone in an instant.

    THAT was gauling – this is just a nice diversion, esp if you like building castles with monsters and traps in them. Orcs Must Die but with human opposition if you like.

    • Strabo says:

      Except Arcades sucked pretty hard (that’s why they are mostly dead) and you couldn’t waste 30-40,000 pounds in just a few days like F2P allows obsessive/addicted people to do.

      I mean, if you have to compare your business model to arcade games it’s not something in your favour…

      • trjp says:

        I’m assuming you’re a about 20 at the very most, because arcades are the only reason you’re playing videogames now…

        and it was quite possible to spend a lot of money in one – there were many tales of people spending fortunes, carrying buckets of coins etc. etc.

        In reality, people spending £100s is a ‘lot’ on F2P games – and spending the financial equivalent in an arcade was very easy indeed – and that’s before you considered the cost of getting to the arcade and all the nasty food and drink you’d tend to buy there too.

        Honestly, the kids these days know nowt – spend 60p on an App and complain it didn’t last more than 10 hours…

    • Vesuvius says:

      The problem with that is that the higher you get in level, the more it’s stacked against you- if you’re not putting in money you have a castle which is unupgraded and therefore vulnerable (especially against the pay to win folks), and the only way to successfully make that money (if you don’t have a great character, which is partially luck partially real world money)… is to wait and wait and wait for money to accumulate.

      The amounts you need to accumulate take ever more time.

      Meanwhile, during that window of time, you are continually being looted and your coffers go down.

      It’s just not fun- it’s imbalanced (certain characters are better than others, very cheap and annoying trap combos are spammed because there’s no incentive otherwise, castles are dull and samey, the game will glitch and not let you win even when you were supposed to because a single dinky enemy at the start of the level had a pathfinding issue… )… it’s just not fun.

      Uninstalled the beta a week ago and have been happier for it.

  7. Chris says:

    Total Biscuit described it as the Pricey Quest For Crappy Loot.

    • trjp says:

      In fairness, he’s a nerd who’s opinion is worth about 8p – for starters, he has no idea how much it will actually cost as they keep changing that (to their credit – they’re finding a sweet spot for stuff).

      He stopped being useful when he stopped telling people what games did and started to think people cared what he thought about them instead. He also calls himself ‘Cynical’ without knowing what it means.

      He’s just that guy who used to hang-out in the computer shop – he didn’t work there but we was always in there and he’d tell anyone and everyone what he thought about everything – whether you wanted to know or not – completely oblivious to the concept of subjectivity.

      I often wondered what would happen to those people – I see ‘Youtube’ is the answer…

      • Bluenose says:

        That is the best summary of TB I have ever read, thank you sir!

      • mondomau says:

        Whereas your opinions are worth…? Christ, I can’t believe you’re making me defend TotalBiscuit (i find him aggravating in the extreme), but come on. He’s annoying from time to time, but he still shows a fairly balanced view of the games he plays and the WTFs are still some of the best places to go for (fairly) objective & informative videos of new games. He also has a lot of subscribers, so his opinion clearly is worth something to a lot of people.

        And ‘nerd? Really?

        • trjp says:

          I’m not pushing my opinions on people by making entire videos which are nothing but my opinions ;)

          and Nerd in the traditional sense of a social unaware person who’ll spend eons telling you the minutiae of stuff WAY beyond your level of interest, usually without prompting.

          I know it’s trendy to be a nerd now, but I’m old and I use words like wot they used to be used as…

          Not really an insult either – just a description of, well, him and people like him…

          • Ataru Moroboshi says:

            So it’s more acceptable to push your opinions on people in blog posts and internet comments than it is in videos? Or aren’t people allowed to state their opinion on anything, ever?

          • Ako says:

            Oh no, you’re just pushing your opinion on people by making lengthy internet comments, huge difference !

          • PacketOfCrisps says:

            I think you are on the wrong site if you don’t like opinions. Newsflash: RPS writes opinion pieces. Besides, TB has always said that his viewpoints are entirely subjective, so I’m not sure where you got the idea that he thinks he is being objective.

          • Mad Hamish says:

            hang on a minute, how are people having all these opinions forced upon them? I was under the impression that consumption of these things was all voluntary. For someone pulling the seniority schtick for the whole thread, trjp you’re not being very mature about this.

        • Nick says:

          a million flies can’t be wrong etc..

          • Sheng-ji says:

            Hehe, they say that people are best at making music and films for an audience 5 years younger than themselves. Perhaps this is 10 years younger on youtube!

      • Sheng-ji says:

        Although, as he was an employee in a Game store, surely we should celebrate that Game has employeed at least one person who takes an interest in games and wants to pass his knowledge on, no matter how socially unaware he is whilst doing so!

      • MaXimillion says:

        Except of course that he knows very well that his opinion is subjective, and keeps stating that the point of his videos is that he both shows you the game and gives his opinion, and if you’ve watched enough of his videos to know whether your tastes are similar to his, that will help you determine whether you will like the game as well. He’s not exactly forcing you to watch his videos either.

        As for this particular game, his first video on it was actually favourable, he only described it more negatively after a recent patch changed the microtransaction mechanics.

  8. Kollega says:

    Sir Painhammer’s additude reminds me seriously of Captain Qwark from the Ratchet & Clank games. Which means that if he’s in the game, the game is going to be seriously irritating.

    Then again, it’s F2P, so it will probably be irritating regardless of what characters it has.

  9. noodlecake says:

    Yeah. Apparently it was quite good but then they just made it so you can buy everything. You can just get out your bank card and spend hundreds of pounds maxing out your level and unlocking everything in the game and being better than everyone else. Which is a shame because it’s a great concept. I was looking forward to this.

  10. Oathbreaker says:

    For a better story about this game, look at TotalBiscuit’s two informative videos on this.