Scream Fear-hiss Boo: TF2 Comic Threatens New Update

I don’t want to make any jokes in this post, because doing so would make me feel like the rubbish, nervous compère trying to entertain the crowd before an amazing comedian, for instance Bruce Forsyth or Jim from Neighbours, comes on. TF2 is a funny game, with funny promotional material around it. It is definitely funnier than I am. Funny like a clown, yes. For instance, this comic, heralding Valve’s shootybang game’s mysterious but surely impending Halloween update. By page two, it’s triumphed with its concept of ‘toilet wine.’ On page five, it’s got bald ghosts pinching each other’s noses. Then there are raccoon sanctuaries, and wills made of human skin and… And, well, yes, very good.

There’s also a teasing mention of portals to the nether realm, which may or may not be the next big thing in TF2 itself.

All the TF2 blog has to say on the matter of game updates is “Something is coming, everybody. Not “right now” coming — but you know, we’re working on it.” That perhaps implies that an All Hallows’ Eve release date for said something may have been the victim of Valve time, or maybe it’s an ARG for Half-Life 3. After all, the title of the post and comic both is ‘grave matters’, and people are killed in Half-Life games, therefore presumably going to their graves. I’ve definitely cracked this.

Most likely it’s a temporary in-game event with spooky bosses, though. They always do that.


  1. Discopanda says:

    Merasmus has awesome prison tattoos.

  2. robinge says:

    my classmate’s step-aunt makes $68 an hour on the laptop. She has been fired for 5 months but last month her income was $21037 just working on the laptop for a few hours………:> >>>> http://WWW.JOBS60.COM

  3. SkittleDiddler says:

    Hey look everybody, it’s a Valve pre-announcement announcement.

    • VelvetFistIronGlove says:

      Be fair, it’s also a few pages of a Valve comic.

  4. Gap Gen says:

    The latest Call of Duty really has changed since the last time I checked it out.

  5. arccos says:

    Details on the event are here: link to

  6. The Random One says:

    Hooray for Hightower!

    • The Dark One says:

      Hightower is awful.

      Like 2Fort, the path to victory means running past the enemy spawn. This results in either endless deathmatch or spawn camping. They’re popular because their gameplay is so broken that awful players don’t feel the negative reinforcement they normally would.

  7. Kollega says:

    Okay, I know that people are tired of seeing me bitch about Team Fortress 2, but let’s face it: what we see here is Internet humour – as in, many different things welded together haphazardly in an attempt to elicit a laugh. A dark mage stirring “toilet wine” just smacks to me of “LOLOLOL NINJA PIRATE ZOMBIE ROBOTS!”. Same goes for the Soldier being a crazy hobo instead of a Drill Sergeant Nasty. And of course, we shouldn’t forget the real reason for all the randomness: trying to justify putting in more and more hats that would never fit the characters back in 2008.

    You know… I still remember the time when TF2 was a laser-focused spy fiction parody. Now it’s like the Silver Age comic books, where Batman had a shark-repellent spray in his helicopter and Superman could shoot rainbows from his fingers. Is it easier to make? Doubtlessly. Is it funny? Maybe, but only for a few moments before you realize how ridiculous it all is. I miss the old spy-fi bent of TF2, I really do.