Fassassin’s Creed Movie In 2016

eek

The Assassin’s Creed movie, starring Michael “elephantine” Fassbender, has finally been actually properly genuinely greenlit, and production’s already in swing for jumpy-stabby silver screen action in late 2016. Given that the misfortunes of earlier Ubisoft adaptation Prince of Persia panned out resulted in Jake Gyllenhaal turning away from ultro-budget action movies, if this struggles similarly we might see the Fass slope off back to arthouse for a while. I might be OK with that.

Oh, maybe Fassassin’s Creed will be good. You never know. Hollywood does so seem to struggle with this sort of thing, though. I guess whichever Assassin the film winds up starring could be essentially seen as a historical superhero, which vaguely fits current blockbuster appetites, at least.

The big question is exactly who Fassbender is going to play, and whether they’ll be adapting any of the present-day sci-fi conceit as well as the olden days parkour element. It would be… problematic if Fassbender was to be the Syrian-born Altair, but I guess he could play an Ezio-like Euro-type at a pinch. But would he dual role Desmond and a Desmond ancestor, or will there be a big co-star? Empire seems to think the Fass will go full Desmond, but in the past Ubisoft have poured some cold water on that idea.

Said Ubiboss Yves Guillemot of the project, “We have the pleasure to announce today that the green light has been given by New Regency, and the production has already started. This is a very important milestone for the project and for our team on Assassin’s Creed.”

Justin Kurzel, of Snowtown and Macbeth, is slated to direct. Haven’t seen either of those – should I?

Of course, it’s entirely possible this will never happen. Many a game movie never came to pass – whither the potentially exciting Bioshock? – but it does sound like the great Hollywood engine has actually spun into life on this one now. There’s even a specific release date – December 21st, 2016. I don’t know, is a Christmas slot a vote of confidence or a death knell? That seems to be around the time they always push out a rubbish Keanu Reeves movie that no-one really wants to watch.

Important note – the above image is of a fan’s painstaking and faintly terrifying recreation of Asscreed’s hidden blade. RPS hasn’t accidentally stumbled into a scoop.

23 Comments

Top comments

  1. Turkey says:

    I hope Assassin's Creed falls in love with the sexy lady who knows how to take care of herself so she has proper motivation to throw him the time MacGuffin in the 3rd act that helps him defeat the main Templar bad guy who killed one of his own henchmen earlier in the movie just to show off how evil he is.
  1. Anthile says:

    The Christmas slot is pretty okay. It’s usually January to March that’s reserved for stinkers (see Jupiter Ascend). I’m looking forward to it, if only to see if the fallout is as interesting as Gyllenhaal’s post-PoP career. Source Code, Prisoners, Enemy and Nightcrawler are all really good.

  2. Rao Dao Zao says:

    I actually really enjoyed the Prince of Persia film. I have it on DVD and no regrets, even got some Lego of it (tracked down years after the fact because I didn’t see the film at the cinema at the time). On the other hand, I’ve never played a Prince of Persia game.

    Also watched the Doom film recently and although it was a bit daft it wasn’t all that bad either. Never played a Doom game either, though…

    • welverin says:

      You did that wrong, PoP: Sands of Time is an all time great game.

    • ansionnach says:

      Watched the Prince of Persia film on a flight once and was surprised. It might be the best film based on a game that I’ve seen. It’s stupid, silly, ridiculous but fun. Have the first four games (or: Prince of Persia, Prince of Persia 2: The Shadow and the Flame, Prince of Persia 3D and The Sands of time) but only finished the first two. PoP2 is superb, originally overlooked it because of Flashback but I think it’s a much stronger game. Would recommend it to fans of the original who’ve never been convinced by the 3D adaptations, especially if you got so good at it that you could finish it in under twenty minutes. The second one is several levels of magnitude harder so maybe only for those who like a challenge.

  3. iainl says:

    Given that the only other mega-budget action nonsense Gyllenhaal did was The Day After Tomorrow, I suspect his immaculate 0% strike record was a curious distraction from his main, far better, more grown-up work.

  4. Monggerel says:

    How very interesting! AC is very interesting!

    • Premium User Badge

      tigerfort says:

      It’s always nice to meet other fans of Air Conditioning. A thoroughly under-appreciated topic for academic thought, I feel.

      • Darth Gangrel says:

        Now, if only Alternate Current can get some attention for its own sake, rather than always being bundled together with Direct Current as AC/DC, then the world might become a better place.

  5. Turkey says:

    I hope Assassin’s Creed falls in love with the sexy lady who knows how to take care of herself so she has proper motivation to throw him the time MacGuffin in the 3rd act that helps him defeat the main Templar bad guy who killed one of his own henchmen earlier in the movie just to show off how evil he is.

    • Robert Post's Child says:

      I can’t wait to hear people talk about Mr. Creed’s “destiny” in vague but uplifting terms.

  6. Premium User Badge

    SputnikSweetheart says:

    Hmm, could be enjoyable. Fassbender basically held up Prometheus for me. Could turn out similarly in that the plot being a bit boring but the spectacle and performances could stop it being a disaster.

    Seeing as you asked, Snowtown is a great, creepy Aussie indie film about it’s worst serial killer. I don’t think Macbeth is out yet though I think Fassbender’s in that too.

  7. bit.bat says:

    I read ‘The Assassin’s Creek movie’ for some reason.

  8. Chaz says:

    I think that guy with the knife has seen the “Taxi Driver” a few too many times.

  9. DrollRemark says:

    It will be a film about a guy (Fassbender) who plays Assassin’s Creed and then finds a secret area in one of the games that leads to him getting an address to go to in real life. It will be the address of the real UbiSoft studios, where he will meet up with one of their lead designers, who tell him that all the games have been part of an elaborate attempt to find him – the true descendent of the Assassins and Desmond’s son/father/clone. In the final scene, Fassbender will actually come into the very cinema where the film is being watched and tell us all about his grand destiny to destroy the Templars and save the world. Then he’ll kill someone in the audience and then sit down two rows back and COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR just by doing that.

    Because meta = clever.

    • Shadowcat says:

      OMG, that sounds life-changing! Will they name him the Assassin of Assassins!

  10. SuicideKing says:

    But will it have a simultaneous launch for consoles and cinema halls? Most importantly, WILL IT PLAY AT 30 FPS FOR A TRUE CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE?

  11. Muzman says:

    Some insiders discuss some versions of the screenplay floating around in this here podcast

    link to youtu.be

    The answer in there as to “who the lead will be: Ezio, Altair or Desmond?” is “None of the Above”. It’s essentially, based on the version they read, was that some new, somewhat Ezio-ish, character was being made up and the setting is Barcelona during the Inquisition.

    Kurzel is a damn odd choice, based on his current work. Snowtown is a one of the darker examples of what I call Fibro-noir. Really grim stories of Australian lower-working class life. That particular one telling the true story of a notorious group of serial murderers in one of Adelaide’s crappier satellite towns.
    It’s very low key, understated to the point of artiness and suffocatingly grim from start to finish. Impressive, but not exactly happy fun tent-pole fare.

  12. int says:

    As Eve said to Adam after they’d taken the apple: Is that a hidden blade under your leaf or are you just happy to see me?

  13. Shadowcat says:

    I assume the “elephantine” comment is a reference to the thing that startled Terrence Malick so much — as detailed by one of the many remarkable appendices in the essential Ayoade on Ayoade:

    In a surprising move, Terrence Malick, the camera-shy auteur, is releasing a coffee-table book of his compete Gmail correspondence, accompanied by majestic images of eagles, motivational maxims and the secret recipe for his chunky salsa dip. Herewith selected extracts.

    […]

    BTW, did you see Shame? Michael Fassbender’s pecker’s pretty long! It’s almost half as long as mine, ha, ha, ha! But seriously — is that normal? Because I got depressed when I saw it, and I couldn’t really concentrate throughout the rest of the film. I think it’s pretty stupid to show some dude’s massive dick at the start of a film. I mean it’s not very considerate. How are you meant to enjoy the rest of the film when you’ve got some fuckin actor’s massive length in your mind? It’s fuckin sloppy directin is what it is. I mean I’ve never had any complaints, I just don’t need to see some other fella’s junk is all. I spent the whole day in the bath wondering whether there was any point comin back out.

  14. Geebs says:

    a) it wouldn’t actually be all that problematic for Fassbender to play a Syrian, except in as much as they kinda look like human beings and Fass kinda doesn’t. He wouldn’t even need to get into Sir-Alec-Guinness-prosthetic-nose territory.
    b) more importantly: you might not have noticed, but the protagonists in AC games all have Future Desmond’s face anyway. Problem solved.
    c) it would amuse the hell out of me if the villain of this movie ends up being called “the Spaniard”

  15. Juan Carlo says:

    I can only assume the elephantine comment is referring to Fassbender’s massive vocabulary.

    Yes, ladies. He speaks fluent German.