Steam Charts: guns vs swords

Blood for the blood god, it’s only the weekly Steam charts! These are the ten games which sold best on Steam last week.

The debate has raged for an eternity. The infinite dilemma that has defeated even humanity’s greatest minds.

Which is best: guns or swords? Today, I have a definitive answer for you.

10. Fallout 4

(Back again thanks to a still-ongoing half-price sale).

GUNS!

9. theHunter: Call of the Wild

(An actual new entry! Just Cause 3 engine-powered deer-murder game. Looks very pretty so maybe I’ll do some bloodless nature-watching in it sometime).

GUNS!

8. BERSERK and the Band of the Hawk

(Another new entry! Hacky-slashy, Dynasty Warriorsy adaptation of a long-running manga and anime series).

SWORDS!

7. Sniper Elite 4

GUNS!

6. Northgard

(A third new entry! Whouldathunk? Viking-themed RTS, currently in Early Access. Brendy liked it a lot).

SWORDS! (Well, maybe axes, but let’s not split hairs.)

5. Conan Exiles

SWORDS!

4. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

GUNS!

3. H1Z1: King of the Kill

GUNS!

2. For Honor

SWORDS!

1. Grand Theft Auto V

GUNS! (And probably a couple of swords too, but screw it, we know which side this game’s bread is buttered on).

GUNS WIN, 6:4. AND SO THE VIDEOGAME WAR IS CONCLUDED.

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19 Comments

  1. Pogs says:

    Personally I think many games should take a leaf from Borderlands 2 and have guns that shoot swords. Best of both worlds.

    • Renton says:

      Or they could take one from Final Fantasy and have oversized swords that also happen to be guns.

      • Premium User Badge

        Biscuitry says:

        You’re missing the obvious combination here: swords that also happen to be guns that shoot smaller swords which are also, themselves, guns. The swords those swordguns shoot are just swords, though, unless you have the optional DLC.

      • grom.5 says:

        RWBY anyone ?

        For every weapon: “And it’s also a gun”.

        Scythe sniper, gauntlet shotgun, swords pistol, axe tromblon, hammer grenade launcher, suitcase minigun (!), and my favourite. Coffee cup baseball bat flame thrower corgi launcher.

  2. lancelot says:

    Great piece of creative writing, because beneath the outer layer the reader suddenly begins to see the subtext: does anything apart from guns and swords even stand a chance?

  3. Premium User Badge

    johannsebastianbach says:

    CSGO has got it right: GUNS!, but for the ultimate humiliation there’s always a SWORD! (aka knife) at hand. That’s how you do it, video games!

  4. Darth Gangrel says:

    I like games with both swords and guns, but prefer swords because of the meatiness and different moves one can employ. There’s a reason why Star Wars isn’t lauded for its gunfights (the movie Equilibrium on the other hand…). With that said, I like shotguns for that same meatiness and really enjoy a good sniper rifle.

  5. GernauMorat says:

    Chainswords.

  6. Premium User Badge

    Qazinsky says:

    Too bad Dishonored didn’t make the charts this time, with a sword in one hand and a gun in the other. What would you do then, Alec, WHAT WOULD YOU DO THEN?

    • Minglefingler says:

      He’d probably just blink in confusion.

    • kud13 says:

      E.Y.E. Divine Cybermancy did it first. You could also use the sword to deflect bullets, before using your gun to shoot the enemy.

      Or use the sword to make them explode

  7. rustybroomhandle says:

    “Guns! Guns! Guns!” – Clarence Boddicker or Nitzer Ebb.

  8. caff says:

    Blackwake is excellent and deserves to ride high in the charts (I thought it was in the top 10 at the weekend).

    It’s chaotic, silly 54-player (27 vs. 27) multiplayer fun with a great sense of atmosphere, role play and teamwork. And it has swords. Swords are better.

    Plus you get to make lots of “sea men” jokes.

    • caff says:

      Wait, Blackwake is in the top 10 isn’t? I’m in the UK and checked both the default top sellers list and the global top sellers… am I going mad?