Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time.
It was called Mission Kellogg’s outside of the UK, but we got the much better name so I’m gonna run with that. It's a platformer made by some people that also make cereal! About cereal! That came on a CD in a packet of cereal!
Excuse me, I've got some nostalgia I need to work through.
I'm sure it'd be awful, if it were possible to find a copy now. It'd be a dull, shoddy platformer with nausea-inducing branding that you couldn't pay me to play. Nobody seems to have uploaded it, so as best I can tell it's simply unavailable. I'm glad.
It means the version of Mission Nutrition in my head will always be one of unbounded wonder rather than tedious cornflake collecting. It means the jungle level will remain an impossible mystery to me, more exotic and daunting than the one in Spelunky or any other game. It means guiding Tony the tiger, Coco the monkey and Snap/Crackle/Pop (the...gnomes?) across those crocodile infested platforms will remain some of my fondest childhood memories.
Oh wait, I found someone's playthrough on youtube. It is awful.