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Feature: Things that go thump in the night
Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. Thumper leaves no room for anything but itself. It floods from your eyes to your ears to your brainstem, dissolving conscious experience into grinds and jumps and failure. The rhythm won't release you. You'll have to earn your freedom.
Feature: Happy hiking
Have You Played? is an endless stream of game retrospectives. One a day, every day, perhaps for all time. Do you know what awaits atop the mountain in Getting Over It With Bennett Foddy? Past all the nonsensical detritus, and after every snippet of Foddy's philosophical musing? I do. Not because I climbed it, obviously. I'm a coward who relies on the internet for answers.…
Feature:
We rescued Rachel Walker from a sweatshop and recruited her to the cause. Safe in our hideout, she revealed a talent for using computers, carrying out simple scripting operations to defraud unwary internet users. After a few months of cracking corporate accounts, she uncovered a huge corruption scandal that rocked the judicial system, scoring our first major PR victory. Her deft fingers also helped the…
Feature: Work work!
A lot of my HYP entries end up being games wot I watched my big brother play and then cautiously experimented with myself. Warcraft II (colon Tides Of Darkness) was, to an eight year old, amazing, especially with the Beyond The Dark Portal expansion. I don't much dip my toe in the RTS genre these days, but when I was little they were the majority…
Feature: The good, the bad and the 8-bit
I don’t have the facts to back this up, but it is unlikely Westerado had the same budget and team size as Red Dead Redemption 2. Not to go all Digital Foundry on you, but I estimate that there are more graphics in one of Rockstar’s physics-enabled horse gonads then there are in the entirety of Ostrich Banditos’ virtual frontier. And yet, for my money,…
Feature: What a horrible night to have a curse.
While the main Bloodstained game was a tribute to the Metroidvanias, Bloodstained: Curse Of The Moon more resembles the old Castlevania games, right down to aping Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse's character swapping. But a long time has passed since Castlevania III came out in 1989, and I think enough refinements have been made that mean Curse Of The Moon is distinct enough.
Feature: Let your Communistic hands tremble
I have somewhat of a reputation, which has often preceded me, of being a big Communist. This is because I have a habit of letting my ideological stances leak into my work, like a glass of red wine on the beige carpet of the games industry. Because of this I get sent a lot of notionally "on-brand" games, and one of those is Calm Down,…
Feature: You can't go back
It was on Wireplay. I barely even remember what exactly that was, but I think it was a matchmaking service, in the dial up era, with a range of popular games. The only one that really worked on our primitive dial up internet was Rumble In The Void. And even then, not reliably.
Feature: Let the revolution be swift
I've spoken in depth before about Sonic mods, and yet I've not uttered a word about Freedom Planet. Originally conceived as a mod, it soon became its own game in much the same spirit as the classic Sonic games. In a time when the blue hedgehog was struggling, this was a ray of speedy sunshine.
Feature: I just lost my underwear
Fight your bullying older brother to recover your inheritance (a pair of pants), with lasers. Tiny & Big is a silly game.
Feature: Yurin trouble
Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2 was a desperately silly game. In fact, looking back at it now, with the benefit of twenty years’ hindsight, one might go so far as to call it an embarrassingly puerile game, what with its FMV cutscenes that always felt one slip of a PVC soviet uniform away from being cheap porn, and its one-note humour based solely on…
Feature: Red and black magic
There’s always a gamble with Julian Gollop. Whenever I’ve been lucky enough to meet the designer behind the original X-Com, I’ve felt like the student to a mild-mannered teacher - the kind who makes you lean in to hear, rather than bellows for you to listen. Boot up one of his games, though, and he becomes a crafty casino manager, rubbing his hands in glee…
Feature: I'm not your Doom, guy.
Doom made is grand return in 2016 and it somehow catapulted id Software's classic to a new, even bloodier level. If you haven't delved into the reboot yet, then don't worry too much about multiplayer, maybe dabble with the level creation tools, but definitely play the campaign.
Feature: Randoms in tandem
I wasn't a captain. Solo ambushes were my thing. I had a great sense of the angles, distances, and crucially, the timing needed to load the right ammunition and light the fuse when the enemy would suffer most. Point blank sneak attacks with the one-gun raft were my specialty, and how I'd typically get to the battlefield, or plunge to the earth along with an…
Feature: The undisputed king
I knew from my first few hours playing Rocket League that it would become my most played game on Steam. It took me nearly a thousand hours to reach the coveted top rank of Grand Champion. It remains, in my eyes, the perfect competitive multiplayer experience: easy to get into, difficult to master, and far more focused on tactical decisions and reading your opponents than…
Feature: I spy
Do you want to feel like James Bond? I bet you want to feel like James Bond. The James Bond who spends all his time crawling through vents and blocking laser beams with key cards. Here, watch some of Unseen Diplomacy, featuring a man using a broom to break into the lair of an evil corporation before it can delete the internet.
Feature: Beasting up
A lot of my friends from school have done things like have children or move to other countries now, but in the wilderness years of 2010-2016 we still all returned to our home town every Christmas, primarily to see our families, but also, secondarily, to get absolutely destroyed on Christmas eve. A tertiary reason was that my friend Tim, who has now both had a…
Feature: Did you get the number of that Donkey Cart?
Discworld was an adventure game that took me a while to get into, but one I'm glad I saw through to the end - even if I had to use guides on demo CDs. The game was received as being incredibly difficult for an adventure game even during the 90s, thanks to puzzle solutions that seemed totally random. But one thing is unmistakable: it was…
Feature: Ape escape
I mean, some games aggressively resist your playing them. Peter Jackson’s King Kong: The Official Game of the Movie is not available to buy on Steam, or Uplay, or any online store you could name. When I sought out a physical copy, it bricked my computer. Putting it down to coincidence, I tried the disc in my laptop, and it bricked that too. Is there…
Feature: Toblo!
"Toblo!", cheers the peppy American woman every time you go back to the menu screen. Toblo! Toblo.
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