I love watching the ecstasy of an athlete who's just realised they’ve won gold at the Olympics. It’s a very special moment. I bet all gold medallists have an annual swanky dinner or something, where they swill Lucozade and delicately spoon energy gel into their mouths. Maybe it’s time I went along. I mean, I beat the World’s Hardest Game over ten years ago.
Let me tell you my story, my legend.
I’d get lifts into school with my dad, which meant I’d have an hour in the mornings before lessons kicked off. Rather than waste my time doing maths or something, I decided to pursue the World’s Hardest Game. A simple arcade puzzler where you control a red box and must reach the end of each stage without touching these little blue circles. There's a catch, though, and it's that you have to collect every coin dotted around the stage before you can exit it successfully. And they're all placed in these devilish spots. Oh, and each stage becomes progressively harder until you’re navigating a mad flurry of dots and traps.
Each morning I’d hone my craft. For weeks and weeks I built up muscle memory, to the point where I could tackle the first 20 or so levels without thinking. It was just the last ten I'd need to tackle. And I did.
I remember my jubilation when I finally cracked it, that rush of pure joy. I remember my big nerd friends huddled around my screen, and someone gripping my by the shoulders and violently shaking me with delight as I emerged triumphant (some of this has been exaggerated for cinematic effect).
So yeah, I know what winning gold feels like. Better rent a suit for this dinner. If you want to join me, you can still try your hand at World's Hardest Game in browser for free.