Posts Tagged ‘free loaders’

Gabe Newell to write, direct and star in Half-Life movie

The founder of Valve, Gabe Newell, will write the script for a Half-Life movie adaptation, as well as being named the director, it was revealed today. However, he is also slotted to act the part of the hero of the classic 1998 shooter, physicist Gordon Freeman. This was all said in a public announcement that sent fans of the series into a frenzy. It was expected that the company was going to announce Half-Life 3, and when that didn’t happen the eyes of the crowd turned an unholy crimson and smoke began to appear from inside everyone’s clothes. The writhing mass of human rage left the announcement venue and swarmed into the nearest lake, where they dissolved into a thick particulate and melded into a horrifying 300 ft beast that went on to destroy downtown Bellevue.
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Free Loaders: Of resistance and roguelikes

Good day, fellow revolutionaries. The time has come to shake off the shackles of oppression but also to try some free games from this week’s round up. We’ve had a couple of game jams competing for attention – the Resist Jam, which is all about raising that fist and shaking it at The Man, and the 7 Day Roguelike Jam, which I presume is all about getting lost in a maze and succumbing to sweet, sweet death. Roll out, comrades. Read the rest of this entry »

Free Loaders: The puzzling rooms of M.C. Escher

So you want to know where the free games are this week? Up those stairs and on the right. No, not those stairs, the other stairs, the ones that are perpendicular to those stairs. Now if you just go through to the next room, which is actually just this room but viewed from another perspective, then you can take those stairs. No, I mean the original stairs. No, you go down this time. That’s right, to the left. Under that staircase, yeah, but kind of like, over that staircase as well. At least I think that’s where they are. I’m not Escher. Read the rest of this entry »

Free Loaders: What’s the draw of horror?

As hard as it is to believe, we live in the good timeline. In this reality, Walt Disney did not go crazy with delusions of bringing his animations to life, creating a terrifying place where you can be stalked by cartoon characters. Oh no, he did! Well, at least the terror of Disneyland is offset by the boredom of long queues for Space Mountain. In our headlining free game this week, there’s no such respite.
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Free Loaders: Catching up with your past self

One game this week (pictured above) is about physically chasing your own trail to catch your past self in a dancey “worm hole of time-space frequency”. I once encountered my past self. He sent me an email through some sort of delayed electronic delivery service. On the morning of my 20th birthday I checked my inbox to find a poorly-written message from 2004 in which my schoolboy self laughed at me because he had “no worries ’bout money, education or any of that stuff”. What a brat. Well the joke’s on him. I don’t need money when I’ve got free games!
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Free Loaders: Rock out with the Lonely Geologists

We’ve got some rockin’ free games for you in this week’s round-up. You might think I’m talking boulderdash, but trust me, these games are really gneiss. From stone-cold killers with the ability to swap bodies at will, to a poor sap who has been granite the power of VHS vision. Don’t worry, we’ve cobbled together a list for you. Come and marble at them all. I will stop doing these rock gags if you pumice not to slate them.
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Free Loaders: Dictator tower defence & hookshot cars

There is no greater love than that of free games. It is the purest love. The most generous love. The filthiest love. You try to hide it, but I know this love consumes you and constricts your bosom like an over-passionate anaconda. Don’t worry, you’re among friends here. We love free games too, and every week we bring you more. Think of us as your matchmaker. Your sordid, seedy matchmaker. Free games for the playing!
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