Best PC games New PC games 2020 Best graphics cards Best free PC games Best Minecraft shaders for 1.16.3 Best Warzone loadouts for Season 5

Posts tagged “One Off The List”

Feature: One Off The List

The 10 worst kings and queens in PC games

Regicide is once again a topic at dinner, thanks to the release of Crusader Kings III. Your aunt passes you the gravy, and asks about council matters. Your mother comments on the rise in guillotine stocks. Your father, the king, chews his mutton with a rueful and distant glare, probably thinking about war. A cloaked advisor enters and hands you a note on parchment. “The…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 9 best dogs in PC games

All dogs go to heaven, we have heard it said. But what about videogame dogs? By the virtue of their non-existence you may suspect they are refused entry. However, after contemplating the issue for some time, our finest minds in the listicle archives have concluded that, yes, even videogame dogs go to heaven. What a relief. Here are the 10 goodest boys in PC games,…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 9 best magic spells in PC games

Hubbish bubbish, rhymes are rubbish, eye of newt and blah blah blah. Gosh, magic is a chore. If only we had a catalyst to... Oh, hello reader, what are you doing here? Well, as it happens, yes, you can help me out. Just stand over here while I scratch these runes around you. I’m trying to summon the 9 best magic spells in PC games,…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 9 weirdest animals in PC games

As the fuzzy denizens of earth pivot to non-existence, we will soon be left with an unclear memory of the animal kingdom's bizarre court. The elephant, for instance, what even is it? I cannot help with that question, I’m not a marine biologist. But what I can offer is a tour of endangered videogame wildlife. Otherworldly creatures you can’t find beneath the rocks of reality…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 7 best couriers in PC games

Death Stranding, the walking simulator about the sad Deliveroo man, is finally out on PC, allowing thousands of keyboard clackers to decode the complex metaphors embedded within such characters as “Mama”, a woman with a baby, and “Heartman”, a man with a pacemaker, played here by an aging and tired Danny Wallace. Look beyond the sub-textual nuance of such masterful creations, however, and you will…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 10 best cars in videogames

From an early age, humans know that if they want to be taken seriously, they must learn how to deliver a convincing car noise. Vrrrrummm, they might say. Or perhaps: brrrrrr-bp-brrr. These are the nascent efforts of the budding speed freak, and they must be respected. But once again the realm of videogames encroaches upon the germinal life of the human with pitiless velocity. Car…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 9 worst scientists in PC games

Science, the most difficult of the arts. We are trained from toddlerhood to respect and fear the products of scientific advancement, such as the selfie sticks or mechanical pencil. The unsurpassed boffins who create such devices are worthy of admiration. But there is one realm in which science is not such a gentle guardian of the people. That’s right, it’s videogames. In games, scientists are…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 9 best nights out in games

Down it, down it, dowwwn it, yeeaahhh! Nice one, you skulled that pint of fizzy water and lemon like an absolute legend, mate, well done. I always knew you were a top enjoyer of a wild night on the tiles, on the rip, on the slosh, on the tear, on the floor, on the bathroom floor, no listen you’re on the bathroom floor mate, for…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 8 bleakest post-apocalypses in PC games

Post-apocalyptic videogames, the ultimate escape. How wonderful to venture to a strange land, so different from our own, and see what the world may look like an entire week from now. Well, today the PlayStation clan secluded themselves behind their barricades with The Last Of Us Part 2, leaving the PC tribe to suffer in the harsh elements of reality alone. But never fear, wanderer.…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 9 most desperate cowboys in PC games

[Warning: this article must be read entirely in a comedy cowboy voice]Howdy pardner. Spittoon? Take it, we got a whole crate of them right here. Every god-fearing outlaw needs a good spittoon at their heels, as my grandmammy used to say. Hoo-wee, what a women. She was known to enjoy a strong snifter of list article, you know. Everyone who visited got a spittoon and…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 10 sunniest getaways in PC games

Wow. Look at that summer sun slapping the face of the planet, like a big 12-hour camera flash. So hot, so clear-skied. A blessed day of walks in the park, trips to the beach, picnics by the litter bins. What a glorious day for wasps it is out there. Let’s all go to the...Oh right. Forget I said anything. Go back inside, lock the doors,…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 9 most extreme sports in games

Football. Tennis. Conkers. What do these historic, reputable sports have in common, I ask you. That’s correct, they are not extreme enough. Please, quiet now. I am here to do the talking. Yes, there are sports videogames, your FIFAs and your Mario Tennises. But they do not fulfill the desire within all of us for the extreme, the radical, the pushing of it to the…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 9 deadliest sharks in videogames

Listen, never mind that sharks are not the mindlessly violent animals we’ve been trained to fear, and simply additional victims of mankind’s global vertebrate binge. Dismiss, please, the ongoing cultural rehabilitation of this toothy swimmer, who is statistically quite poor at killing humans. Ignore also their adorable habit of falling asleep when you hold them upside-down. Forget it, forget it all. No more lovey-dovey thoughts…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 12 most useful inventions in PC games

If you plumb the depths of human ingenuity you will resurface with a wet box of penicillin and 100 million bits of different-coloured plastic. We people are very good at making useful things, and then killing ourselves with them. But videogames, my friends. Videogames hold the solution to our self-destructive ways. That tech utopia your pal Start-up Stan is always talking about is in reach,…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 9 best road trips in PC games

Kick the tires, whistle at the paint job, spin the keys on your finger like a revolver and then shoot the car with the little laser of unlocking. It’s time to get back on the road. What’s that? Entire country in a state of unprecedented lockdown? I see. Well, lucky for you, we concern ourselves here only with pretend cars, the indoor joy of fictional…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

May day! May day! The 7 best distress calls in PC games

May day! May day! It’s May Day, get it? I constructed this list of the 7 best distress calls in videogames so I could make this joke, and I refuse to back down now. Even if the 1st of May is associated with pagan spring festivities, and nothing at all to do with things going badly wrong in space or at sea. Even if the…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

13 moral lessons from PC games

When the historians of the future cast their cyber-eyes over the deluge of stupidity we encrusted upon the primitive internet, they will see that our fables, our moral storytelling, was mostly conducted with flashing colours and double-jumps. Yes, videogames have adopted the moralistic finger-wagging of fairytales and Victorian novels, for better or for worse. They have taught us a lot about ourselves and our place…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 9 tastiest dinners in games

Everyone’s a cook now, is that it? A few weeks in lockdown and you’re all suddenly artisan bakers and Bon Appétit Kitchen presenters? Sorry, I don’t buy it. Put the chickpeas down, Jeff. We all know what happens when you let things “simmer”. However, there is a world in which your cooking really does impress. Where it comes out of the pot scrumptious and hot…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

9 game characters who refuse to die

Let us wish a blessed Good Friday to all the Catholics in the house. Now, get out. Your fish-sharing magician cannot compete with these 9 videogame characters who see death as nothing but a passing nuisance. These 9 heroes of reanimated flesh. These 9 unkillable beings of limitless power and mystery. Where is your precious Holy Spirit now, loser? Look at these 9 luminous freaks…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , .

Feature: One Off The List

The 11 nicest smiles in PC games

The human race evolved the facial expression known as the “smile” because we needed a way to silently communicate satisfaction to other members of our species. So we decided to bare our teeth at one another and squint. This stuck, and now even the characters of your favourite digital storyderby are doing it. It’s sort of disgusting, and yet… you know what, I like it.…

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Page 1 of 2

Newer posts