Yep, It's Real: Barkley 2 Chaos Dunks Kickstarter

I, for one, am happy (?) to live in a world where a PC version of the latest in one of gaming's most wildly successful franchises can be in question while something called The Magical Realms of Tír na nÓg: Escape from Necron 7 - Revenge of Cuchulainn: The Official Game of the Movie - Chapter 2 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa can be absolutely, 100 percent real. Put simply, it means that nothing actually makes sense, and I'm a fan of a little wild, horrifying unpredictability in my life. So, right then: Barkley 2. Tale of Game's - they of the world's most infuriatingly purposeful title typo - are looking to crowdfund their parody RPG sequel, and the final product actually sounds sort of, dare I say it... fascinating.

Tale of Game's is looking for a measly $35,000, and it's already nearly halfway there. At this rate, funding's pretty much guaranteed, so what exactly will we be getting for our time/money/withering view of the universe's natural order? Well, the biggest upfront change is that this one's a twin-stick-ish action-RPG. TMROTNN:EFN7-ROC:TOGOTM-C2OTHBS (sadly not redeemable on Steam) is also looking to marry the aesthetics and absurd narrative arcs of Japanese role-players with the openness of Western fare like The Elder Scrolls. Here's an especially ambitious result of that:

"People, places and quests change over time; the things you experience might be completely different from what your friends experience because you did them at different times. The official Big Idea behind Barkley 2 is that everyone will have a different game - things changing over time is the backbone of this idea."

Combat, meanwhile, is apparently drawing on inspirations ranging from Dark Souls to Borderlands, so it should be interesting, if nothing else. I mean, just take a look at this part.

Wait, no.

No.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

(Note: the previous outburst could also be substituted as a reaction for the backer bonus Cyberdwarf body pillow. Which is an actual thing.)