By Cara Ellison on March 18th, 2013 at 11:00 am.
It is the day after St Patrick’s Day. I am so hungover my face feels like it wants to run off down the street. All I want to do is sit here with a cup of coffee and watch Consolevania. What’s this you say? The dudes over at DSOGaming have spotted that Castlevania: Lords of Shadow is coming to Steam? Oh praise The God of Games. Let’s just all sit here and have lovely Rab’s Glasgow patois talk about Lament of Innocence on Consolvania as celebration.
As Other Senior Scottish Correspondent Craig Pearson reported way back in August, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 is coming to the PC, so Konami must have decided to give us a very special treat by setting up us its predecessor on Steam too. Here is a video wot was shown at E3 about Castlevania: Lords of Shadow.
And here is our very own Robert Florence to soothe your awful Monday hangover with words on Lament of Innocence:
Urgh. Get me some Irn Bru! It cures all hangovers, donchaknow.
18/03/2013 at 11:06 rei says:
Sure, looks fun.
18/03/2013 at 11:10 Njordsk says:
Ah men, just when I bought the ps3 version !
18/03/2013 at 12:18 db1331 says:
LOL. I’ve toyed with buying this on PS3 for months too. So glad I didn’t now.
18/03/2013 at 11:10 Deadly Habit says:
Hope it’s a good port.
18/03/2013 at 11:11 int says:
I hope it’s not all in vainia.
18/03/2013 at 11:13 Njordsk says:
Oh Lord, here we go again.
18/03/2013 at 12:13 RedViv says:
Counting on towers of puns, accurate as clockwork.
18/03/2013 at 12:13 scatterlogical says:
Have the Fortitude to stop this silliness. Don’t Keep this up. I Lament for us all.
18/03/2013 at 12:15 Lagwolf says:
Vanity thy name is a spectacle fighter.
18/03/2013 at 13:47 solidsquid says:
These pun threads really are a shadow of their former selves
18/03/2013 at 12:32 TheGoddamn says:
Hopefully they’ll have whipped the framerate issues into shape for this one.
18/03/2013 at 12:36 ZyloMarkIII says:
I banish thee back to the Shadow from when you came, foul pun-monsters! Only there will thou find acceptance with those dark Lords!
18/03/2013 at 13:43 Revolving Ocelot says:
What is a game? A miserable little pile of achievements!
18/03/2013 at 14:19 Bluerps says:
Your words are as empty as your soul! This pun thread ill needs a commenter such as you!
18/03/2013 at 11:18 rustybroomhandle says:
Is ‘hungover’ a real word?
18/03/2013 at 12:25 bill says:
Why would it not be?
18/03/2013 at 14:02 DickSocrates says:
It’s pronounced hung-over, rather than hun-gover. That may be where your problem arose from.
18/03/2013 at 11:20 guygodbois00 says:
Love those St. Patrick’s Days references. Yes, right. Like you need an excuse or something.
18/03/2013 at 11:22 kalinichenko says:
Mortal Kombat 9 has also been listed on Amazon for PC
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00BTXEFKS/
A gud day for PC gamers
Edit:seems to have been taken down. *sigh*
18/03/2013 at 11:23 Anthile says:
I’ve never been a huge fan of the 3D Castlevanias. I played the very first one way back on the N64. It had the most malevolent camera ever seen, boring combat and that infamous level with the explosive barrels. Also, skeletons on motorcycles for no apparent reason.
18/03/2013 at 11:45 Jackablade says:
I don’t think I’m opposed to the concept of skeletons on motorcycles.
18/03/2013 at 11:53 guygodbois00 says:
And in the game? Sorry, just had to.
18/03/2013 at 11:52 Toberoth_Syn says:
Yeah, the N64 version was dreadful…
18/03/2013 at 12:30 ThTa says:
I’m with you. Hopefully it’s the “2.5D” Mirror of Fate from the 3DS.
I mean, it’s more likely we’ll get the shoddy God of War thingie, but a man can dream, right?
18/03/2013 at 14:28 paterah says:
I’ve played both on 3DS and PS3. Trust me, you want Lords of Shadow. Also, I’m not sure they can port Mirror of Fate considering it’s very reliant on the use of 3D.
18/03/2013 at 16:05 ThTa says:
To be honest, I was basing my opinion on MoF purely off the previous handheld games (the ones on GBA and DS), which were absolutely excellent. But I did play the first Lords of Shadow game on Xbox. So while I don’t know whether I truly want Mirror of Fate, I know for damn sure that I don’t want the regular Lords of Shadow.
18/03/2013 at 17:26 Wedge says:
The recent 3DS one is made by the same people that did the current 3D series… so it has nothing to do with the fantastic GBA and DS ones.
18/03/2013 at 12:49 Sparkasaurusmex says:
The very first one on N64? Dude that was like the seventh one or something.
18/03/2013 at 13:46 Chizu says:
Pretty sure he meant the first one in 3D. Not that it was the first Castlevania.
18/03/2013 at 11:29 Neo says:
This is good news, the only major problems I had with the PS3 version was the framerate dropping below 30 and low resolution.
18/03/2013 at 11:30 Lemming says:
Enjoy it folks, it’s a rather lovely game. The musical score, the combat and a unique way of doing QTE events that feels more sensible. It’s also fun and simple enough to ’100%’ as you can replay any level at any difficulty at any time, so there’s not advantage in playing on ‘hard’ from the off. You may as well wait until you’ve upgraded everything to max. A pretty good after-credits ending as well.
18/03/2013 at 11:31 boe2 says:
I hate how the latest castlevania games are anything but “metroidvania” games. It’s just abusing the “castlevania” name to sell a rather bland actiongame.
That, and any game with QTE’s should die a thousand painful deaths.
18/03/2013 at 11:44 MSJ says:
Castlevania was originally a series of platformer games, nothing “Metroidvania” about them. It wasn’t until Symphony of The Night on the Playstation, several years and games after the franchise began, that the gameplay was associated with them. They even remade one of those pre-Symphony game for the PSP (and included Symphony with it anyway).
18/03/2013 at 12:19 Metalhead9806 says:
I believe Simon’s Quest (castlevania 2) was the first open ended Metroid style Castlevania game? It was quite ahead of its time back then.
When SotN released many said it was a evolution of Simon’s Quest and Super Metroid.
18/03/2013 at 21:30 welverin says:
Yep, C2:SQ was the first Metroid style Castlevania, the series went right back to the style of the original after that however.
SotN gets all the pub for that style and Simon’s Quest always seems to be forgotten.
18/03/2013 at 11:36 bitbot says:
That’s so awesome to see a huge console franchise make it to PC at last. What’s next? Metal Gear, I hope (yes I know MGS 1 & 2 were on PC, but I want the new games).
Anyway, I’ve heard good things about this game so I’ll certainly consider buying it. Hope it’s a good port.
18/03/2013 at 12:23 Metalhead9806 says:
Didn’t we also find Halo 3 in the steam registry? If so maybe we should wait for the release before we get excited.
18/03/2013 at 12:33 Snids says:
I would cry tears of joy if that happened. But I feel that Konami value Castlevania as a rung below MGS.
It’s already cross platform and had had several different teams develop parts of the franchise.
I would’ve thought Sony have too much weighted on MGS to sell Sony consoles.
Still, I think Ground Zeroes will be multiplatform so who knows.
Exciting times ahead.
18/03/2013 at 13:27 amateurviking says:
Mind you, it’s only MGS4 that’s not multiplatform now what with HD collection being available on Xbox. So we can live in hope.
18/03/2013 at 21:33 welverin says:
I have a vague recollection of Kojima saying that MGS4 was too idiosyncratic to the PS3 to be feasible to port to the 360, which would also rule out a PC release.
I do hope however that future games will make it to the PC.
18/03/2013 at 14:24 darkChozo says:
Man, I hope we get some Metal Gear. I’ve been wanting to play Rising: Revengence Revenge of the Revengers for a while now but don’t have access to the appropriate hardware at the moment. Not that a Platinum/Kojima team-up is likely to be doing any PC development any time soon…
18/03/2013 at 11:46 MuscleHorse says:
Maybe we could have some ports of the Metroid Prime games… please?
18/03/2013 at 12:21 D3xter says:
You can play those on PC already: http://www.dolphin-emulator.com/
Since the IP is afaik owned by Nintendo, I wouldn’t expect official ports any time soon.
18/03/2013 at 12:32 bill says:
Metroid Prime on PC would be awesome, though I guess that ship sailed long ago. (and with Nintendo at the helm it was never going to turn our way anyway).
I really wish someone would make a metroid prime style game on the PC. Quick! To the Kickstarter!!
18/03/2013 at 11:47 Ayam says:
Simon Belmont from Captain N The GameMaster – I need a game based on that incarnation!
18/03/2013 at 14:56 Lemming says:
Partnered with the Link from the Legend of Zelda cartoon! Dear God, what have we created…
18/03/2013 at 12:17 Totally heterosexual says:
As a dumb fan of the whole series, I can say that this game is shit and people who made it should feel like shit.
18/03/2013 at 12:19 D3xter says:
Ohh, that’s cool. It was one of the titles that I might want to try but couldn’t because no PC. Will definitely look into it.
Can I also request “Castlevania: Harmony of Despair”, pretty please?
18/03/2013 at 12:53 Sparkasaurusmex says:
This.
Harmony of Despair looks great.
But wait, isnt’ it really just SotN?
18/03/2013 at 13:14 Kitsunin says:
I was thinking “Oh come the eff on why are we getting this crap and not Harmony of Despair” myself, but fine, I’ll agree with your less jaded responses.
HoD isn’t really like SotN, it’s not got much of a Metroidvania aspect, and plays like more of a co-op arcade-y game with some progression involved, if the impressions I have are correct.
18/03/2013 at 14:16 darkChozo says:
Played it a while ago on 360, you’re pretty much spot on with that (though replace “some progression” with “holy shit a lot of progression”). The entire game has a vaguely MMO raid-ish structure to it, in that every “match” is a matter of completing a SotN-style Castlevania level, getting to the boss at the end, and beating him for some loot rolling fun, all with a (30 minute I think) time limit and six players controlling various Castlevania protagonists.
It had a pretty heavy emphasis on progression, drawing off the post-SotN RPG elements in Castlevania, but it was pretty interesting in that each character “leveled” independently and in a way suited to whatever game they came from. For example, Alucard would get weapons and spells from enemies/chests/bosses, Soma would get weapons as loot and souls from defeating enemies, Charlotte would be able to absorb certain enemy spells, etc. And each character played differently, so you got a pretty cool amount of variety despite the limited number of levels (6 pre-DLC + hard mode, IIRC).
Overall, it was a ridiculously fun game, and fairly unique as well. Has some balance and matchmaking issues, but otherwise it would be great on PC (and now I want it on PC and am sad).
18/03/2013 at 15:11 Sparkasaurusmex says:
Oh wow. Well honestly I’d rather have SotN then!
But I do, so I guess I’m happy.
18/03/2013 at 12:42 Commander Gun says:
I am probably getting old, but shouldn’t the hero in these games wield a whip, with other weapons just as a sidearm? And while we’re on it, shouldn’t the endboss be like, Dracula, no matter how much times you destroy him in previous titles?
18/03/2013 at 13:16 Anthile says:
I think it’s supposed to be a different continuity, unconnected from the previous games. Still, I’m sure it will have a whip somewhere.
18/03/2013 at 13:22 Oozo says:
I think chronologically, it comes pre-whips and other iconic elements of the latter (or “classic”) games.
Which might be just a lazy attempt to explain away the differences in gameplay — even though that’s hardly necessary, I think. I mean I watched the Castlevania-retrospective on Gametrailers some time ago, but I can’t say I cared much about continuity in a franchise that basically was “Let’s make a Hammer Studios-inspired platformer!”, with the story a distant afterthought.
It’s not as bad as the completely ridiculous attempts to cramp all the Zelda-games in one timeline, but still, knowing the details about Simon Belmont’s great-grand parents is not really central to playing “Symphony of The Night”. And that’s fine! Just give me a good game, is what I want to say, and keep enough, albeit not necessarily all of the ideas associated with the franchise, and I will be ok.
18/03/2013 at 13:37 Hunam says:
He does have a whip. It’s his main weapon. He uses it all the time.
18/03/2013 at 14:57 Lemming says:
This.
18/03/2013 at 13:39 Jenks says:
The giant cross in his hand is a whip, a chain flies out of it.
18/03/2013 at 14:06 dE says:
The Lords of Shadow Game is one of those reboots that brush along the original story and lore for a bit, then gives it the finger and does something else entirely. As such it’s Castlevania only in name. The result is a rather mediocre but well presented game.
The gameplay is utterly shallow, the puzzles perplexingly stupid where going “this lever does something” is already way overthinking it, the combat is without challenge and makes the button mashing of the new DmC look overly complex in comparison. But it looks stunning, sounds aptly clichéd in terms of its music and paid for some high grade voice actors (including Patrick Stewart, which sadly sounds a tad bored here). It’s an all style no substance kinda game that also happens to lift a middlefinger to the franchise. Not sure the franchise will notice, as it had been horribly stale for a while and a decent middle finger might actually be what it needs. Lords of Shadows isn’t the right kind of middle finger though.
18/03/2013 at 14:58 Lemming says:
Here’s another perspective: Its the best Castlevania game there is.
18/03/2013 at 15:04 Totally heterosexual says:
That is a dumb perspective.
18/03/2013 at 16:47 Strangerator says:
From the trailer that’s what I’d have guessed, without ever playing. Looks like another God of War type button mash, I’m guessing with a liberal sprinkling of QTE?
If Mario and Samus can survive the transition to 3d, then surely Simon can figure something out as well? Something open-worldish like Metroid Prime. It needs to have dastardly puzzles and boss fights almost as difficult as Dark Souls. Really, it needs to be half puzzler and half action game. Otherwise it’s going to get lost in the herd of games exactly the same as this one.
18/03/2013 at 13:32 amateurviking says:
Relevant: http://midnightresistance.co.uk/articles/five-minute-fanboy-castlevania
Your average (although granted Mr Florence is certainly not average) weegie might object to the term ‘patois’ :)
18/03/2013 at 13:48 Chizu says:
I had this on PS3. Its alright. Nothing amazing, pretty long (overly so) with some pretty obvious borrowing of stuff from other games.
Might pick up the PC version depending on the price, never did quite get around to finishing LoS on console.
18/03/2013 at 16:12 Lucas Says says:
I recently picked it up on PS3 for fifteen dollars, and I think the money might have been better used by lighting it on fire. I do not understand how this miserably paced, exposition and invisible wall laden snoozefest got reviews any better than Castlevania 64.
Maybe console-only people have the inclination to play such miserable games, but I’ll stick with games that aren’t soul-suckingly terrible.
18/03/2013 at 17:58 draglikepull says:
The story in the game is a nonsensical mish-mash of various lores and mythologies and the voice-over narration by Patrick Stewart is awful. Other than that it’s a fantastic game. The art work is gorgeous, the level design is great, the skills and abilities are all fun to use, and the combat is a near-perfect mix of simplicity to get into and complexity to take advantage of. I’m glad to see that PC-exclusive gamers will get a chance to give this a go, as I had a ton of fun with it on the PS3.
18/03/2013 at 20:15 Yuri says:
So, Dark Souls, Brutal Legend, Lords of Shadow.
I’m still secretly hoping that Platinum Games sees stuff like this and maybe, just maaaaybe decides to port Bayonetta and Vanquish to PC too.
19/03/2013 at 10:03 Snids says:
Yes please. YUM.
18/03/2013 at 20:38 Mman says:
This is actually pretty exciting; framerate was BY FAR the biggest issue with Lords of Shadow, to the point it pretty much overshadowed the entire experience for me. Being about to play it from a fresh perspective without those crippling technical issues will be nice.
18/03/2013 at 20:54 Droopy The Dog says:
Does he say “Don’t you see Gandalf? You can bring her back” at the end?..
19/03/2013 at 10:02 Snids says:
This is actually Middle-Earth Canon, unlikely as that seems.
19/03/2013 at 09:55 Snids says:
A more accurate title for the Castlevania series would be “Tales of the Candlewhippers”.