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Kung-fu Master Meets Sex Offenders Register

When Walker found this, he lobbed it straight at me: "Your Sort of Thing", apparently. This is him implying I'm a disturbed onaninst who fruitfully ejaculates at the images of underage frogs in lingerie. Which is ludicrous - all the frogs are of legal age. Anyway, With its instruction video appearing just before the 1st, this existed in a "April Fools... or just Japanese Software Development?" file for a few moments. But, no, it's real.

Yes, it's the new game from Nigoro, the makers of last year's aristocratic-slapping-game Rose & Camellia, and sees them really delving their unique idiom. Videos, awesome plot fragments and slander against podcasting comrades beneath the cut.

Firstly, the plot. And this is probably the best piece of Videogame writing since Portal or the good bit in Bioshock or whoever wrote the line "Splendid jetpack dreams of the Apatosaurus named Brontosaurus" on the Jetpack Bronosaur webpage...

"I'm the Mekuri Master, the Skirt-Flip King. The name isn't their idea... It's mine. I'm a man who was born to lift skirts. You think any so-called "rules" are gonna stop me? When classes get out, I race through the corridors like a fearsome wind, flipping, flipping, flipping up girls' skirts and letting the whole world know that I am the Mekuri Master!"

That's the way to do it: "I race through the corridors like a fearsome wind, flipping, flipping, flipping up girls' skirts ". Glorious poetry. It's like being put in the sweaty boots of popular sex-pest Simon Byron, of One Life Left and Crimewatch fame.

And here's the baby in action...

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Thanks, Gametrailer! You can expose our panties anytime you like.

Words fail. Only three remain. Play it here.

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Kieron Gillen


Kieron Gillen is robo-crazy.

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