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For Your Viewing Pleasure: Low-Grav Chivalry Hilarity


It is Friday. Very little is happening, because that’s how Fridays work. But there’s a reason for that: everyone’s exhausted. It’s been a long week of whatever it is you actually do, and while you’re normally some grand mover-and-shaker or titan of industry, today you’re almost out of steam. You need something to help you make it through the next few hours. Just a little something. Let’s call it a pick-me-up. Yes, actually, let’s definitely call it that, because this Chivalry video involves armored men being plucked from terra firma’s loamy embrace and rocketed screaming into the sky against their wills. Literally screaming. If you don’t laugh yourself to the point of wheezing purple pain, you’re a better person than me.

So yes, if you hadn’t figured it out, Chivalry’s underlying systems seem to think a lack of ground beneath soldiers’ feet is equivalent to impending horrible death, so everyone freaks out accordingly. It’s a magical thing, no? Kind of like medieval Tribes, except, er, a lot louder.

This whole episode’s a wonderful byproduct of a server-side mod, too, so you should be able to find a match like this for yourself with a little digging. And honestly, why wouldn’t you? Chivalry’s already quite strong (and ever-expanding) on its own two legs, but with air jousts punctuated by unfiltered, unending terror? That’s the stuff legends are made of. Well, you know, if anyone’s able to get down from the stratosphere and actually tell them.

Thank you for making me shoot milk out of my nose, GameSpy. I’m not really sure where the milk came from, but it’s Friday and I’m too tired to question whatever strange lactation-based superpower I’ve suddenly acquired.

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Nathan Grayson


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