For Your Viewing Pleasure: Low-Grav Chivalry Hilarity


It is Friday. Very little is happening, because that’s how Fridays work. But there’s a reason for that: everyone’s exhausted. It’s been a long week of whatever it is you actually do, and while you’re normally some grand mover-and-shaker or titan of industry, today you’re almost out of steam. You need something to help you make it through the next few hours. Just a little something. Let’s call it a pick-me-up. Yes, actually, let’s definitely call it that, because this Chivalry video involves armored men being plucked from terra firma’s loamy embrace and rocketed screaming into the sky against their wills. Literally screaming. If you don’t laugh yourself to the point of wheezing purple pain, you’re a better person than me.

So yes, if you hadn’t figured it out, Chivalry’s underlying systems seem to think a lack of ground beneath soldiers’ feet is equivalent to impending horrible death, so everyone freaks out accordingly. It’s a magical thing, no? Kind of like┬ámedieval Tribes, except, er, a lot louder.

This whole episode’s a wonderful byproduct of a server-side mod, too, so you should be able to find a match like this for yourself with a little digging. And honestly, why wouldn’t you? Chivalry’s already quite strong (and ever-expanding) on its own two legs, but with air jousts punctuated by unfiltered, unending terror? That’s the stuff legends are made of. Well, you know, if anyone’s able to get down from the stratosphere and actually tell them.

Thank you for making me shoot milk out of my nose, GameSpy. I’m not really sure where the milk came from, but it’s Friday and I’m too tired to question whatever strange lactation-based superpower I’ve suddenly acquired.


  1. AshRolls says:

    I remember setting a map to low gravity and jousting with axes in Quake. /me waves walking stick.

    • Doreen_Young says:

      before I looked at the paycheck for $8649, I be certain …that…my neighbour woz like they say actually bringing in money parttime from there computar.. there uncles cousin has been doing this for less than 23 months and a short time ago paid for the morgage on their mini mansion and got a gorgeous Toyota. we looked here,

  2. Core says:

    Video games are amazing!

  3. Randomer says:

    Now the only thing this game needs before it can achieve gaming nirvana would be to swap the swordz and axes for scoutz and knives.

  4. Low Life says:

    That shouting will likely come back and haunt me in my dreams. But I’ll have forgotten all of that when I wake up, just like any other dreams.

    • Farsearcher says:

      I found your comment strangely poignant. Probably because I hardly ever remember my dreams either.

  5. Iskariot says:

    So this is how it is played.
    It has a Monty Python feel to it.

    • Hoaxfish says:

      Monty Python’s Flying Circus

    • Siresly says:

      You can literally stand on top of a castle wall and taunt kniggits below.
      “Your brain is as dry as a biscuit after a long voyage!”

      I royally suck at the game, but Chivalry may be my favorite game of 2012.

    • Geen says:

      Taunting is the best part of the game. Also…
      TO ME

      • Nick says:

        I enjoy spamming HELP whilst charging into battle.

        • MurderFish says:

          Personally I like to run archer and spam FOLLOW ME while running through crowds. I’m surprisingly good at attracting huge trains without dying.

  6. Archipelagos says:

    Welp…that’s my new ringtone sorted. Thanks.

  7. zachforrest says:

    i’m wondering if human history would be less bloody than as depicted here if we had the ability to float in magestic, predictable arcs. What possible troubles couldn’t be overcome by leaping high into the air, screaming?

  8. elhreno says:


  9. Sinomatic says:

    It is always interesting to see the rise and fall in quality of mods available. Perhaps we could all get together and float some ideas on interesting new game modes.

  10. Simon Hawthorne says:

    I imagine my own battle cry would also sound like I was terrified.

    Really though, I’m commenting to point out that RPS served me an advert for a consultant company offering to help me achieve recognition through the Queen’s Honours List (i.e. how to get an MBE, OBE, Knighthood, etc).

    It knows me so well…

  11. fearghaill says:

    Crouching Tiger, Screaming Dragoon

  12. Haplo says:

    It looks like a wire-fu flick combined with the middle ages.


  13. phelix says:

    Alternate title: What would’ve happened if terraforming and interplanetary travel had been invented in the 1300th century.

    • David Bliff says:

      Hey we’ve got thousands of years before the 1300th century so odds are there will be terraforming by then!

  14. pupsikaso says:

    Lol, this makes the game 100x better

  15. Martel says:

    That was great, made for a good way to end my work week.

  16. smeaa mario says:

    I don’t understand the false hype with this game.

    I picked up and gave it a try. It’s true that as an indie game it is a successful work and has got some polish too. However, this game does not even come close to being a decent competitor to its inpiration, Warband. The combat system is clunky and out of place as hell. The skill and mastery building needed to be a pro is just too damn low.

    I don’t think the devs of this game understand this new genre adequately. And people praising the hell out of this game… They just drive me nuts. I mean I am not a fanboy. Not really. If you people are impressed with this, just go on and give Warband a try. Assuming you won’t be put off by the outdated graphics, you will see what a huge accomplishment Warband is compared to this here game.

    • Tei says:

      Maybe different tastes? I have not played chilvalry, but seems a type of MP with scripted events, and different phases. Warband is more like a team deathmatch. Perhaps people enjoy the differents in pace betwen tryiing to push a warmachine to a door, to killing peasants. A more arcadey combat is something maybe people would enjoy?.

      Can you do this in Warband? set the gravity very low, and have people using voice commands to laught or say AAAAAA? this video is very fun, so Chivalry seems successful in giving players the tools.

    • Veeskers says:

      It’s unlikely to be inspired by warband. It’s based on a hl2 mod that has been around for a long time, and controls very differently. Be glad there are alternatives.

      As for the high skill ceiling in warband, so much of it seems to be the result of (skill-intensive) exploits like the reverse twirling attack- or of the ridiculous feinting spam that seems to have no risk attached to it, the lack of a stamina limit, etc. There’s a point where it stops having any resemblance to swordfighting and is just a contest of pure mouse dexterity. Is that what you’re playing a medieval combat game for? Chivalry does not have this problem.

      Warband with the napoleonic expansion is lovely though. Commander mode really brings out the potential in that game- huge battles with strategic maneuvering.

    • darkChozo says:

      Well, probably the biggest thing that Chivalry offers is its more dynamic combat system. I’d argue that, to anyone who plays a lot of action-y games and particularly FPSs, M&B’s combat is far more clunky than Chivalry’s. The whole directional system is a bit awkward unless you’re really used to it, and it’s not really something that a lot of other games do. By comparison, Chivalry’s combat is basically a natural extension of basic FPS gameplay; it’s all timing and aiming based. Having played both, Chivalry feels better to me, though it does have a lot of annoying issues.

      Chivalry is also faster, and doesn’t have a lot of the awkward animation issues that M&B has. It also is significantly more visceral; dismemberment and proper ragdolling, while mostly immaterial to gameplay, feel good. Also, there’s lot of yelling. Yelling is super important.

      Not saying that Chivalry is necessarily straight-up better, of course. M&B handles large scale warfare and strategy much better than Chivalry does (and that’s a big part of the appeal for the general public, and may well have a higher skill ceiling (not entirely convinced by this, while it certainly has a steeper skill curve I’m not sure if the ceiling is actually higher). Chivalry also has a lot of weird bug-ish things that can make the combat feel worse than it is; it really sucks for someone to hit you when you’re sure you blocked, or to get stuck on terrain in a heavily positional game.

      Also, Chivalry was (probably) not “inspired” by Warband. Age of Chivalry is a HL2 mod released in 2007; the original M&B was released in 2008 (though had been in development significantly earlier), and neither exactly invented sword-fighting in video games (that was clearly Jedi Academy :D).

    • smeaa mario says:

      Ok, it was ignorant of me to describe Warband as the inspiration then. But my entire point stands. Tei wrote that it is about taste and I cannot argue about that either.

      Still, I definitely think that Warband requires a higher skill level, a lot higher indeed. While Veeskers believes it’s simply mouse dexterity, what you mean by ‘skill’ in any game out there is all about mouse, keyboard, controller or arcade stick dexterity after all.

      As for you Chozo, maybe you have already tried yourself but I advise you to go for the crpg mod of Warband. In my opinion, the mod uncovers the true potential of Warband to the extent that game engine allows.

      • Rimesmoker says:

        Although I feel to state that M&B has a deeper, more skill-oriented combat than Chivalry is ludicrous, I can understand how someone who might’ve only spent a few hours on Chivalry could arrive at that conclusion.

        It’s a wrong one, however. Chivalry is easier to learn than M&B, true, but Chivalry also has a lot more potential for playergrowth and depth. I have 240 hours in Chivalry and I often meet people who teach me new things, mostly minutiae like the precise reach of a weapon, or the exact moment when one can pounce as a knight with bearded axe. I have fewer hours on M&B, granted, but c’mon:

        The comparison isn’t even valid, imo.

        • Rognik says:

          Yup, Chivalry takes no skill whatsoever. (sarcasm)

          Chivalry gets a lot of hate from people who fail to realize how much depth the game has from combining simple mechanics like mouse-dragging, ducking, feinting, and comboing. The fact that the game actually looks and sounds decent while allowing noobs minor victories through button-mashing also turns off the competitive gaming crowd for some reason.

          The only problem I have with Chivalry is that the devs are pretty incompetent when it comes to fixing minor bugs and gameplay hitches. The biggest, but far from only, example of this is how servers continue to report inaccurate player counts after months of patches claiming to have fixed the problem. The game also has a clunky feeling due to things like sprinting not activating if you start holding shift right before you complete an action instead of right after. All of these issues have workarounds, but they’re very inconvenient.

          • Warskull says:

            Chivalry has such a good combat system. The problem with M&B and War of the Roses is that the game leans too heavily towards attacking. Your opponent has to guess which direction you picked and it can be much more difficult to defend than to attack. Combine this with no penalty for spamming attacks.

            Chivalry on the other hand has a very intuitive, natural parry system. Aim the center of your screen at their weapon and hit the block button. Time it wrong and you are left with your defenses down. Aim wrong and the hit gets through. Failed attacks cost stamina and running out of stamina will leave you in a vulnerable position.

            Chivalry is the very definition of an easy to learn, hard to master combat system.

            Then there is the issue of maps. M&B maps are fairly generic as are their game types. Chivalry has the phenomenal team objective mode. It plays like a proper game.

    • iucounu says:

      I bought Warband quite recently, and, man! It looks like crap. It’s really hard to play in between bouts of FC3 and the like.

    • Christo4 says:

      I have played both Warband and Chivalry. I’m not sure whichever has the most skill requirement or ceiling whatever, but when i played the MP of Warband it was pretty frustrating because it was mostly based on knowing the exploits or glitches. In comparison Chivalry is annoying at times because most of the “bugs” are caused from lag and it being not optimized very good, but for multiplayer, it trumps Warband mostly because it doesn’t really rely on glitches and it’s just fun. Warband has a very good single-player but i really wouldn’t say that it has a better multiplayer. Also Chivalry is easier to get into because you can just play Knight or Vanguard and have a blast, or you can play man-at-arms if you want to get more tactical (i recommend puttin dodge on a third/fourth mouse button, to me it’s easier).

    • Nick says:

      I find this a hell of a lot more fun than Warband.

    • BigTeddy says:

      I would really not call it an Indie Game tbh…noone calls Counter Strike an indie game,and it went literally the same path.
      I don’t think you can really compare Warband and Chivalry,they feel completely different to me.

  17. SelfEsteemFund says:

    I think I may have to look past the clunky movement & lack of optimisation just to play this, so glorious.

  18. BockoPower says:

    It’s cool but nowhere near as awesome as the instagib+low gravity in UT2004.. For the ones of you who played it, you know what I am talking about. For the others I found this video which kinda sucks but just to get the idea. link to

    • Christo4 says:

      Just what i was thinking, it looked like UT2004 with low gravity but medieval style. I miss UT2004…

    • identiti_crisis says:

      Yeah, I pretty much only play UT99 with the instagib, low grav and jumpmatch mutators on. Not sure why, I’ve just always liked it!

      • BockoPower says:

        Me and my friends used to play it about 90% of the time after we found out about these mutators. This was In the good old glorious days of the internet cafes. It just doesn’t feel right now when we play from home with skype, vent, ts etc… :'(

  19. mollemannen says:

    john carter of medieval warfare.

  20. Veeskers says:

    I certainly hope that anyone running this in the future has the good sense to disable archers (as seems to be the case in the video). The low gravity sadly makes it easier for them to be an irredeemable pest to people trying to have a bit of melee fun.

  21. Zarunil says:

    Time to get Medieval, again.

  22. laddyman says:

    I swear the screams get subtly more ridiculous the longer the video goes on.

  23. Phantoon says:

    I didn’t notice any difference in the amount of screaming, honestly.

  24. beekay says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever giggled so long or so embarrassingly in my life.