Steam Charts: Breaking News Edition

Welcome to the Steam Charts. Here are the headlines.

10. Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege – Year 2 Pass

9. Divinity: Original Sin 2

8. Nioh: Complete Edition

7. Call Of Duty: WWII

6. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

5. Getting Over It With Bennett Foddy

4. Euro Truck Simulator 2 – Italia

3. Spellforce 3

2. Grand Theft Auto V

1. Plunkbat

36 Comments

  1. Premium User Badge

    Drib says:

    I enjoy seeing the format messed with.

    Also, some Lorem Ipsum up there. Been a while!

  2. Premium User Badge

    Grizzly says:

    This is a thing of beauty.

  3. Umama says:

    100PT SNARK HEADING HERE

  4. Premium User Badge

    phuzz says:

    For non-UK readers, these are actual real headlines, from a real actual newspaper.

    Ok, so the headlines aren’t real, except the last one, but the rest is unfortunately.

    • Leath says:

      See more (actual) headlines here: link to expressbingo.org.uk

    • wackazoa says:

      Is this one of those joke papers that tells you so & so was kidnapped by aliens and that there is a secret government plot to brainwash everyone via the water system?

      • MiniMatt says:

        …. yes.

        It likes to think of itself as the sophisticated voice of the sensible older generation, but…. yes.

        It’s owned by someone whose previous publishing was known to most kids via the waterlogged pages found in the bushes in the local park, next to where the dishevelled gentlemen in macintosh coats used to loiter.

      • Premium User Badge

        Phasma Felis says:

        As far as I can tell from across the pond, literally all British newspapers are like that.

      • Premium User Badge

        phuzz says:

        Well yes, but everything is the fault of gay-, trans-, muslim-, immigrants and the young, rather than the government.

  5. SuddenSight says:

    I didn’t realize until this chart that Plunkbat stands for (Pl)ayer (unk)nown (bat)tlegrounds. I am somewhat disappointed, as I had hoped for an immersive bat-sim with a protagonist named “plunk.”

  6. MiniMatt says:

    Tell me, will any of these games prevent cancer? Or (next week) cause it?

  7. napoleonic says:

    I could tell this wasn’t the real Daily Express because there was nothing about Maddie.

  8. Premium User Badge

    Neurotic says:

    I got a Euro truck stuck in my Brexit while eating CoD, and only this imported Plunkbat can get it out!

  9. geldonyetich says:

    These Daily Express headlines are irresistible, I’ll take every copy!

    … Why are these full of pictures of people getting out of cars?

  10. b00p says:

    quality!

  11. Someoldguy says:

    Poor Spellforce 3. Its first ever week in the charts and instead of a glorious screenshot of its beauty it gets a joke headline. I bet it is really upset about that. Bennett Foddy must have felt the same way, but he got over it.

  12. Premium User Badge

    Don Reba says:

    Awesome!

    I take it, The Daily Mirror has just the “top 1”.

  13. gi_ty says:

    Haha this is glorious!

  14. vorador says:

    I think plunkbat broke the bot that writes the Daily Express headlines.

  15. caff says:

    This put a huge smile on my face :D

  16. Glentoran says:

    excellent :)

  17. wackazoa says:

    Like the format this week. As an American, a few questions? How much is “P” and is 10-15P a lot? Is May that wonderfully curmudgeon looking lady? Are you supposed to care about her opinion on Brexit? Also I really appreciate the weather forecast on the front page. Don’t tell me numbers, tell me what it feels like!

    • MiniMatt says:

      p=pence. Kinda like a cent but since the brexit induced devaluation worth a lot less.

      May is indeed the lady. She held your Donald’s hand don’t you know. She probably regrets that now. I think a lot of people regret that now.

      Her opinion on brexit means exactly what brexit means. Exactly. Do not try to know brexit, brexit is the fire and the wind, do not try to know brexit, god only knows what the hell that shitstorm means.

    • Excors says:

      10p is a pretty small amount of money – about the price of a couple of Hobnobs.

      Being 10p cheaper than another newspaper is not really a big deal. But it does let them put “10p” in enormous letters on the front page, presumably so that a large number of stupid people will think that it actually costs 10p and won’t read the little writing underneath or the even littler “55p”, and will therefore put it in their shopping basket and not check the receipt and never realise they’re being scammed.

      Mrs May is the prime minister, so her opinion would matter if she hadn’t lost most of her political power by Pyrrhically winning the last election.

  18. Sin Vega says:

    The great thing about the Daily Express is that its logo is a little tiny man with his feet attached directy to his torso, bravely trying to heft up a shield that’s bigger than his whole body.

  19. Doug Exeter says:

    I laughed out loud at the Getting Over It one. Fun game by the way. Mute the Youtube and Twitch noise coming from it and it’s a poignant thoughtful experience. Turn the mouse sensitivity up btw, actually made it easier.

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