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Croakoloco is not an idle game, because simply being around frogs is a powerfully worthwhile activity

Ribbet me this

Many frog varieties eat some flies in Croakoloco
Image credit: Ryan Forrester

Brain ostensibly useful. But sometimes, brain not good, and brain want activity where not required. Therefore: Frogs. Fortunately, frogs both bound and abound in Croakoloco, an idle management game where you make the mossy climb from singular frog ownership to a sprawling empire of hopping green slime nuggets. As I type, they hop freely in a minimised window, earning me the passive income promised by unscrupulous internet gurus who each possessed not a jot of the charisma and sheer radiant power emitted by a single resident of my frog kingdom.

After a lovely tutorial that starts as it means to go on by just pointing at the things it wants you to lazily click at, Croakoloco will gift you frog the first. You could feasibly just minimise the game then and still progress glacially, but you can speed up your earning by clicking to spawn flies, which your frog eats with alarming, voracious regularity. You can also control your frog directly, entering ‘froggy mode’ to eat lucrative golden flies. You can hop, but you do not need to hop, because your tongue can stretch to anywhere on the screen. You use this cash to buy new frogs in different breeds and rarities. I think I might find this obnoxious elsewhere, but the prospect of ‘epic’ frogs delights me. Here’s a trailer:

Watch on YouTube

The game informs me, after discovering 22 more frogs, I’ll unlock frog breeding. Breeding sounds fun, but I’m more excited about having 25 different frogs on screen at once. There’s also something called ‘prestige’ that unlocks after I discover 100 frogs total. 100 frogs! That’s enough to convince at least one person they’ve been cursed by god if you put them all in a bucket and dropped them from the top of a telephone box. Should you wish to live in perpetual jealousy of my superior amphibian kingdom, you can find Croakoloco on Steam here.

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