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Doesn't Suck: Robot Vacuum Simulator 2013


I have just added a yearly reminder to my Google Calendar: July 5th, 2013: Remember the Roomba. That's the day gaming changed forever. The day that my eyes were opened to the true capabilities of a medium that has so often failed to live up to its promise. I've just wiped the Half-Life 3 beta, the only copy it turns out, off my PC to make room for the game I'm about to link to, because not even Valve's latest and greatest game can live up to it. And, yes, I am procrastinating, because I want to keep it to myself for just a little bit longer. From the makers of Robot Vacuum Simulator 2012, the Citizen Kane of games, I present Robot Vacuum Simulator 2013. The Citizen Kane 3D of games.

How can you improve upon Robot Vacuum Simulator 2012? That's the mountain Stolidus Simulations had to climb. The solution: a 3D engine, a multiplayer mode, and jazz music.

You collect the dirty lumps that have been cast on the floor, but really those lumps are really the dark heart of humanity, and you are the flawed hero subtly removing it from society's gaze. You're there, always working, never stopping. Never appreciated.

If there's not an RPS league for this by the end of the day then you don't deserve games.

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