"The Case Is Individually Wrapped In Faux Reptile Skin"

You probably should have called it Faux Dragon Skin, Bioware special edition packaging designers. If you're going to use it a fake reptile to decorate the supermegaultrodeluxe version of Dragon Age: Inquisition's box, you might as well go for the ultimate fake reptile.

Other than this misstep, EA/Bioware are going all out with the clumsily yet wonderfully-named Dragon Age: Inquisition Inquisitor's Edition. A lockpick set! A tarot deck! A quill and inkpot! Pretend money! A bloody enormous cloth map!

We don't generally post about this sort of thing, but the excess on show in this $170 box is impressive - either they're working very hard to convince us that Dragon Age is the real RPG deal after the divisive II, or they're blithely unaware that people aren't sure what to expect from Inquisition.

Here's the complete contents:

• Highly detailed exclusive Inquisitor Collector's Edition case produced by TriForce measures approximately 8.5" x 13.5" x 14.5"
• The case is individually wrapped in faux reptile skin, has the mark of the Inquisitor stamped on top in gold foil, with an interior fitted with imprinted red silk.
• Cloth map of Thedas drawn to scale measuring approximately 22" x 32"
• 72 card Major and Minor Arcana tarot card deck with custom artwork depicting mythology from Dragon Age lore.
• Inquisitor full scale, six piece, lock tool set
• One set of four full scale map markers each approximately measuring 3.5" x 3.5" x 4"
• Inquisitor's Badge
• Quill and Inkpot
• 40-page Inquisitor's Journal
• Orlesian Coins
• Limited edition SteelBook case to house your copy of the game
• Copy of Dragon Age Inquisition Deluxe Edition

I love the way the inclusion of the game itself almost reads like an afterthought. "All these toys and oh yeah, a game too."

I... kind of want it. Mostly for the quill and inkpot. Maybe I should just buy a quill and inkpot? The lockpicks, by the way, are apparently intended to open a hidden compartment in the not-reptile box - remains to be seen whether more nefarious activities will be possible too.

The aforementioned Deluxe Edition of the game, incidentally, also sells as standalone and/or download for $70, and includes a shedload of bonus items which will amost inevitably be made available as DLC to owners of the $10 cheaper standard version of the game. It's the sort of thing which is vaguely troubling to read, in a "well that sure sounds like it totally imbalances the game" sort of way. Who doesn't want a Bog Unicorn, though?

Here's the list:

• Skyhold Throne - Every ruler should sit in a place of high honor, but as the Inquisitor you will have the greatest of all, fashioned from an ancient dragon skull.
• Red Hart Halla - Traverse the perilous, living world atop this great-horned beast.
• Bog Unicorn - Once belonging to an evil marauder, this unique mount has returned to inspire fear into those who would oppose you.
• Bring the world of Thedas wherever you go with the digital soundtrack
• Bonus digital content - to be announced!
• Also receive the mighty Flames of the Inquisition Gear:
• Multi-class Weapons: Smite your enemies with the Flames of the Inquisition weapons arsenal. Whether staff or daggers, greatsword or war hammer, these weapons will make short work of your foes.
• Inquisitor Armor: Protect yourself against the onslaught of enemy attacks by suiting up in the Flames of the Inquisition Armor.
• Armored Mount: Flames of the Inquisition gear also includes a valiant steed, complete with its own set of Inquisition Armor forged from the flames of battle.

Buying videogames in the second decade of the 21st Century sure is a confusing business.

All of this becomes bewildering reality in the second week of October.