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Finally, A Game In Which You Play As The Monty Python Foot

A complete waste of time

Do you want a quick, dumb, one-note free game? Of course you do. Everybody does. Always. I have consulted with my friend, Representative P. Opulation, who is just one guy whose parents were really mean. But he swears that's what you all want, so it's what you're getting. Monty Python holds a special place in many people's hearts, often lodged right next to the thin mint that's about to make them explode. And then of course, there is The Foot from Monty Python's Flying Circus. Holy Stomping is a game in which you play as The Foot. It's rather silly. Also, a landmark moment in interactive entertainment.

Other Monty Python PC games have come and gone (full disclosure, no joke: my father worked on them when I was, like, five), but none of them allowed you to play as The Foot, which is actually The Foot Of Cupid from Agnolo Bronzino's "Venus, Cupid, and the Folly of Time."

Holy Stomping is a quick, reference-laden realization of the power fantasy to end all power fantasies. You hold down a mouse button, the foot slowly descends from on-high, and everybody goes splat. But not actually everybody, because after a few waves your painterly prey start fighting back. Uncrushable statues waddle through, as do arrow-slinging archers and the like. The goal is to survive for as long as possible, as it is in many games and also life.

The Foot makes a certain sound when it lands, because otherwise it would be an utter disgrace.

Holy Stomping is quick, silly, and free. I kind of wish stomping people felt more satisfying, but what are you gonna do? This is the first and - to my knowledge - only game that allows you to play as the Monty Python Foot. Baby steps. Now then, favorite Monty Python sketch or feature: go!

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