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These Sporting Lies: Olympic Videogame Events

Occasionally, certain corners of the internet and media defiantly make their case for pro-graming being included as an Olympic sport. I call those people narrow-minded in the extreme - of course gaming should be part of the greatest sports show on Earth, but restricting it to that tiny, scary niche would be a terrible mistake. There are far more important aspects of gaming that deserve their own Olympic classes. Here are just a few, and I hope you'll suggest some more.

  • MOBA 3-Lane Pro-griefing
  • Desert Bus 1600 Mile Endurance
  • Day Z Installation Time Trials
  • The Diablo III Real Money Auction House Go For Broke Challenge
  • YouTube Comments Godwin's Law Speed Trial
  • Cross-Country Playing Ubisoft Games On Public Transport
  • Fattest Man Squeezed Into A Replica HEV Suit Weigh-Offs
  • The Minecraft 5 Minute Giant Phallus Construction Sprint
  • Boiling Point Flying Jaguar 800 Metre Pursuit
  • Generic FPS Naming Slalom (Current record holder: Medal of Honor Warfighter)
  • Pretentiousness Gymnastics (Independent Entrants Only)
  • Still Moaning About Bioshock After Five Years Dressage
  • Synchronised Retweets From Notch, CliffyB and Tim Schafer
  • Out Of Context Quote / Speculative Headline / Spuriously Finding Cause To Avoid Linking To Rival Site Triathlon (Media-only event)
  • Half-Life 3 Rumour-Mongering
  • 1000 Comment RPS Pun Thread Relay
  • Hey, that guy who's going to post 'slow news day, eh?' You win Gold in the Stupid Git Marathon.

    About the Author

    Alec Meer avatar

    Alec Meer

    Contributor

    Ancient co-founder of RPS. Long gone. Now mostly writes for rather than about videogames.

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