"Doing anything nice this weekend?" the hairdresser asks, running their hands through your luxuriant quiff. "I'm actually heading out on a whistle-stop tour of battlefields on World War 2's Eastern and Pacific fronts," you reply, leaning back to press your scalp into their supple fingers as they gasp in respect and admiration, "and I'll have the cyber razor cut thanks."
Ho ho but while your haircare specialist now believes you're a big-shot billionaire history expert, you're merely planning to take advantage of the Company of Heroes 2 and Rising Storm free weekends on Steam. All and sundry can play Relic's RTS and Tripwire's FPS for two days, and they're on sale too. Later today a familiar voice will respond to your cry for reinforcements, as confident as mousse and warm as curling tongs, and you'll know: everything's going to be okay.
Full versions of Company of Heroes 2 and Rising Storm should now be in your Steam library, ready and waiting to be installed. They'll be playable until 9pm on Sunday.
The accompanying sales bring Rising Storm down to £3.74, and CoH 2 to £10.19. Both games' DLC and edition upgrades and whatnot are all discounted too. These offers will run a little longer than the free weekend, ending at 6pm on Monday.
But that newfound bond will last a lifetime.