Ah, the Cybertruck: this week's unfortunate Twitter main character and giant target of anti-capitalist scorn. It wouldn't be entirely truthful to say I am above clowning this wheeled monstrosity well past its comedy expiration date, but I have journalistic standards to uphold. That's why I went on Twitter and found a crop of talented game devs imagining Elon Musk's Shamemobile in a variety of video game scenarios. Let's enjoy, shall we?
I run the risk of coming out too strong by starting with Miziziziz's PlayStation mock up, but this one has everything: the half-second looping sound sample, asset pop-in mere yards ahead of the Cybertruck, and the advertisement stinger to cap it off. Props to the driver for letting exactly two baseballs connect before speeding off.
Bonus: Miziziziz released a playable version on Itch.io. You, too, can now speed away from a botched public showcase circa 1995.
Developer Dante Mendes plunked the Cybertruck on an Amiga, the machine capable of rendering the exact number of pixels necessary and no more. The dithering is an expert touch, but I wouldn't bet on the real deal outperforming that stunt machine.
Tesla Cybertruck reimagined as a 1990 COMMODORE AMIGA game. Complete with copper sky gradient, dithered shadow effect and funky physics.— Dante 3d dev (@dantemendes) November 22, 2019
I hope that the real vehicle can turn better than the one in my quick prototype.🤣#lowpoly #gamedev #Commdore #AmigaRetweets #RETROGAMING pic.twitter.com/Xj7D7QXWpV
Readers, knock me down but I can actually imagine myself playing this game. Those certainly aren't baseballs being chucked at the Cybertruck, and it handles corners as if one Lucas Boswell were behind the wheel. Throw on your favorite thrash album, stretch out those digits, and spend the weekend dodging public shame in front of the entire internet.
Twitter user Scott Manley urges us to look further back in time, imagining a pair of cartoonish headlights-turned-eyes on the front of the Cybertruck and a Super FX chip stowed somewhere in the trunk.
People who are saying the Cybertruck looks like a PS1 game are forgetting their video game history pic.twitter.com/zJhG5lUfTj— Scott Manley (@DJSnM) November 22, 2019
Finally, it's my pleasure to put a fellow news writer here at RPS on blast by sharing Nat Clayton's highly instructional DIY Cybertruck tutorial. I'm expecting Valve to be in touch with either a job offer or cease & desist letter within the week.