I Did Nazi That Coming: New Wolfenstein Footage

By Craig Pearson on March 20th, 2014 at 4:00 pm.

BJ Blazkowicz is probably regretting his choice of transport. When he clicked on The Trainline’s website and booked his tickets, instead of grabbing a seat in the “Moving HQ of the Aryan Race”, he should have selected “Quiet Coach”. That way the worst that would have happened is the that someone might be playing music on tinny earbuds DESPITE THE CONDITIONS OF THE COACH BEING CLEARLY DISPLAYED. He chose poorly, and this footage of Wolfenstein: The New Order shows the peril of accidentally sharing space with an Aryan matriarch and her pet ED209.

If you’ve clicked this post looking for the sort of run and gun typified by previous Wolfenstein games, I am sorry to say you’ll be disappointed. It is called “Exploring Wolfenstein: The New Order – On a Train to Berlin,” and that’s exactly what happens. There is some action, but it’s right at the end of a sequence where the bad bad people toy with the player, attempting to discover if he has any impure blood. How will they figure that out? Like all horrible train rides with hateful people, she breaks out a deck of cards and starts asking impertinent questions.

I spent all four minutes watching this asking myself “Why is the coffee purple?” I still don’t have an answer. Oh hey, it’s out May 23rd.

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103 Comments »

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  1. whexican says:

    Still a better card game then Bridge!

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      Gap Gen says:

      Explains why last time I had a blood test they made me pick out cards with puppies and skulls on them.

      • CookPassBabtridge says:

        I wonder if we ever get to find out the Aryan logic behind each one. That set-up needs a decent payoff beyond shooty bang

        • Smion says:

          It seems like there is a choice between an “unclean” (the eye person seems to have some spots on their face, both butterfly and spiders could be called critters) and a “clean” (white teeth, white flower, death isn’t as terrifying as undesirable beings) answer. I’d guess the “clean” ones are the correct choices.

  2. FurryLippedSquid says:

    Nazis. Putting the fun in fundamental.

    I think this will be a guilty pleasure of mine.

  3. XhomeB says:

    So… when can we expect them to show a video advertising proper level design? Cutscenes are fine and dandy, but I hope there’s more to the game than that.

    • Lagwolf says:

      That is what I was thinking… hope this not another by-the-nose cut-scene to cut-scene like Max Payne 3 & Thief.

      • TheVGamer says:

        I quite liked Max Payne 3, mainly because the shooting was real satisfying and because it had a kickass soundtrack. Sure, the cutscenes got overbearing but they were also very stylistic in their presentation. This Wolfenstein seems to have both satisfying combat and style so I think I’m on board, regardless of cutscene frequency and length.

      • piedpiper says:

        Oh, please. Max Payne 3 had same ammount of cutscenes as previous installations. They were just implemented as comics there, but the ammount of game interrupting was the same. IMHO, Max Payne 3 is one of the best triquels in the history of video gaming.

        • Bassen_Hjertelos says:

          Max Payne had comics between chapters/levels. Max Payne has a cut-scene every 30 seconds. How is that the same amount?

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      Jackablade says:

      Try this one by stealth advocate and flat cap aficionado, Dan Hindes.

      I’d say it’s looking like it’ll be a fun bit of run and gun. Hopefully there’s a bit of room to wander in the levels.

  4. Bull0 says:

    I wanted to enjoy that. It all looks quite cool, but the attempt to be deep and meaningful is just not really hitting the mark.

    And why did he spend like a minute beating up the coffee machine at the beginning

    • Echo Black says:

      Why did SPARKS fly out

    • xenominim says:

      It was a NAZI coffee machine, so it kind of had it coming.

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        Gap Gen says:

        I honestly can’t think of any puns that don’t come across as kinda racist in themselves.

        • CookPassBabtridge says:

          I think you’re Erwin too far on the side of caution

      • Geebs says:

        Certainly sounds like grounds for violence

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      RedViv says:

      Nazisploitation (including not-Ilsa and an effeminate Aryan poster boy) and a wonderfully goofy start. Where was the attempt to be deep and meaningful?

      • Smion says:

        Don’t you know that one can also convey a deep and meaningful thoughts about the nature of the world through the language of pulp entertainment?
        Of course that requires actually having deeper thoughts than: Boy, the nazis sure were evil, but kinda hot.

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          RedViv says:

          Of course one can, but I was inquiring where such an attempt was made here. All I can see is a scene that is so very 70s exploitation cinema that anything deeper in the same game would probably surprise me grandly. There really is nothing wrong in my mind about going adapting that sort of feeling for a rather low-brow manshot.

          • Smion says:

            Yeah, that’s more or less what I meant. The first part was the sort of thing I get to hear everytime I mention Inglorious Basterds’ treatment of the third reich and the Holocaust made me very uneasy in a way I don’t think was intentioned and therefore not to be taken entirely seriously.

      • Bull0 says:

        “Oww, look how evil these nazis are, she’s doing some kind of psychological experiment with you, isn’t that sinister and creepy”.

        Plus, I mean, you’ve seen the other trailers, presumably.

        • The Random One says:

          Yeah, one of the very first trailer, with the one-day-a-frame timelapse and the mental hospital being torn down by SS officers, (which I’m quite sure is a cutscene in the game) was defintively going for deep and meaningful rather than goofy nazisplotation. I hope RedViv is right though, as goofy nazisplotation is precisely the tone a game with secret passageways behing Führer shrines needs.

    • pilouuuu says:

      Well, actually I think this is as deep as Bioshock Infinite pretended to be. Instead this game accepts that it’s a pure blood FPS, so there’s nothing to be bothered about.

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        cpt_freakout says:

        “pure blood FPS” – now there’s a marketing catchphrase. :)

      • Bull0 says:

        “Instead this game accepts that it’s a pure blood FPS, so there’s nothing to be bothered about.” is a kind of non-statement I can’t really do anything with.

        If anything I was saying it’s a weird choice to make the trailer this weird character study, when I’d probably have preferred a focus on action. So yeah, what you said makes no sense either as a response to my comment or as a general comment on this video, all in all.

    • A-Scale says:

      I thought it did quite a nice job of representing the penchant for pseudo-science, coldness, and brutality of the Nazis, particularly their medical officers. A unique take on the Mengele style villain.

  5. LetSam says:

    “I spent all four minutes watching this asking myself “Why is the coffee purple?” I still don’t have an answer.”

    The machine is called Riesling Barista 2000. Riesling is a red wine from the Palatinate area (among others).

    Nazi Starbucks must have created the ultimate concoction in coffee horror.

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      RedViv says:

      Man, that’s literally worse than Hitler.

    • gunny1993 says:

      Except that it’s a white grape.

      • LetSam says:

        The Nazis have giant robots, ghost minions, and they’ve conquered the world. I’m sure a little detail like turning white grapes red for that delicious purple-hued Rieslingchino was easy to deal with in B.J.’s absence.

        • DickSocrates says:

          Maybe my monitor isn’t set right, but the coffee doesn’t look pruple to me.

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        Gap Gen says:

        Don’t worry, LetSam’s comment is all sass.

    • Chorltonwheelie says:

      Riesling is a white wine mate. Tastes like piss.

      • gunny1993 says:

        A statement made by the same people who snuff South African wines and pinotages.

      • MrThingy says:

        “tastes like piss”

        We shall defer to your in-depth knowledge on the subject. D:

  6. jo-shadow says:

    While most people probably won’t notice this, I have to say that the voice acting here was really good. She was definitely a native German speaker, which made the scene far more disturbing than if she had been given the typical fake ‘Nazi German’ accent you hear so often. The writing was also natural, and not just English translated directly into German.

    • Smion says:

      Yeah, her bishonen companion (“Bubi”, very subtle) even has an austrian accent, something which isn’t all that common even in synchronisations made for a german audience.
      It feels like they went to great lengths to make something incredibly stupid as authentic as possible, regardless of the fact that the entire premise is idiotic.

      • PopeRatzo says:

        I know. Sounds great, doesn’t it?

      • Tei says:

        Good to know :D

      • DatonKallandor says:

        It’s weird because Raven intentionally chose to play them as Indiana Jones style Hollywood Cartoon Nazis, including voice acting to fit the part in Wolfenstein. Now these guys (who’s making this?) are trying to play it authentic, which is just strange when it’s about a cartoon american supersoldier shooting nazis that have future tech including autonomous robots.

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          Jackablade says:

          It’s being developed by Machine Games, a studio made up of former Starbreeze developers, hence the strong focus on characters and odd combination of pathos and cheese soaked pulp.

    • Loyal_Viggo says:

      I do not agree with zis. Zer is nothing wrong with fake ‘Nazi German’ accents, either in gamez or in ze office.

      In fact, I qvestion your allegiance to ze Fatherland. Ver are your papers? Schnell! Schnell!

      • salattu says:

        I believe you’re confusing the fake nazi accent with the authentic Austrian weightlifter accent.

      • The Random One says:

        I usually enjoy non-English voice acting in games, but yeah, fake over-the-top Nazis need to speak English with fake over-the-top accents. That’s how you know they’re Nazis and not just emo German teenagers!

    • pilouuuu says:

      Yes, I love hearing different languages and accents in games. I loved it in Inglorious Bastards and I loved it here. The German lady was really creepy and Bubi seems like an interesting, likeable evil character.

  7. Michael Fogg says:

    Puns
    All I really want is
    Puns
    To RPS I come for
    Puns

  8. FlatBat says:

    The coffee was purple because you wanted it to be purple.

  9. Turkey says:

    Man, Blazkowicz should’ve scoped out the train beforehand to make sure there’s a giant Hitler painting he could escape through.

  10. Cytrom says:

    “The uploader has not made this video available in your country”

    Oh fuck you bethesda. You are the only publisher that treats people who happen to live east of the (non existant) iron curtain like a homogenous group of terrorists. I’m not kidding, I’m not talking about russia, everybody knows a lot of publishers make special russian versions, but a whole bunch of fully european countries, many of which don’t even speak russian, yet we get “localised” versions of their games with russian language. Ridiculous.
    The barred videos are just a minor issue though. The bigger problem is that many of their games are not for sale on steam (while all of them require steam that has been released lately), or are released with a few *YEARS* of delay (skyrim for example was released early last year on steam for example… lol), so if you dont wanna wait for the steam release, you gotta import it or buy at other online retailers, but then you won’t be able to buy dlc at all, because the the two versions are incompatible. Or you can buy the boxed copy of the crappy “localised” version from the bethesda approved local retailers, but then you gotta wait years for the dlc to be available.

    It is disgusting. Not even EA does this kind of shit.

    • schlusenbach says:

      The video isn’t available in germany… I guess it’s because of swastikas?!

    • Synesthesia says:

      Is this true? If so, RPS should cover it. It’s utterly retarded. Skyrim last year?

    • mr.ioes says:

      Not available in Austria as well. I don’t get it. Companies always ban videos for german speaking countries instead of germany only. WHY OH WHY WHAT DID WE DO???

      hint: Swastikas in games are not forbidden here. Nothing is as far as I’m aware, we simply don’t give a damn.

      • DickSocrates says:

        There are (free) ways around regional blocking of videos. I can’t remember what works and what doesn’t on Youtube, but it’s possible. Some extension for Firefox is what I used. We shouldn’t have to do this on the supposedly free internet, but they can’t stop us getting around their entirely pointless blocks.

        • PsychoWedge says:

          Yeah, of course there are ways around it, but why are we forced to do this little dance every single fucking time? It gets really tiring after 12-13 years of proper adulthood. And they even officially included videogames into the arts a couple of years ago which should mean they should legally be allowed to show swastikas in videogames. Nobody gives a shit about action movies like Indiana Jones. Why? Because they’re proper art. They have all the papers for it! Videogames are too and still… I think it’s exhausting by now. Or maybe it’s just because I’m getting kinda old and just haven’t got the patience for this bullshit anymore… xD

      • DatonKallandor says:

        No we do ban swatiskas more or less (historical, educational, etc. are exceptions). We don’t however have the violence laws germany does. A very small selection of publishers (used to) release uncut localized versions of games for Austria, but for the most part we get saddled with the cut german versions – for no legal reason whatsoever.

      • sektor666 says:

        That’s what you get for spawning Hitler, ja?

  11. Premium User Badge

    Bracknellexile says:

    Never mind the coffee, what I want to know is how come the train carriage is approximately five times wider than a normal one? How is one supposed to partake in all the delights of train travel such as the person next to you hogging the armrest, the screaming baby opposite you or the unrelenting stench of B.O. from the armpits of all those standing and holding the overhead shelf rails, when there’s so much SPACE!

    Also, unless the Nazi’s replaced every rail line, bridge, signal box and station in the network, it’s going to hit quite a lot of things as it goes past :)

    • Smion says:

      Hitler actually planned to introduce raillines between major cities in the Reich with more than twice the trackwidth of those common at the time.
      http://en.academic.ru/dic.nsf/enwiki/576615 (since wikipedia seems to be down at the moment)

      • Volcanu says:

        Responses like this are why I love coming to RPS.

      • DickSocrates says:

        Interesting. I naturally assumed they did it just so they could have a giant robot walking through.

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        Bracknellexile says:

        Awesome. Thanks for the link :)

    • Chuckleluck says:

      Because this is the FUTURE! And in the FUTURE we use GIANT TRAINS! Cars are a fad!

    • LVX156 says:

      If you make the train any smaller you can’t fit the giant robots on board, duh. It’s self-explanatory really, everyone knows that’s why the nazis lost the war: their trains were too small to transport their killer robots to the front lines.

  12. altum videtur says:

    I just realised, Dark Souls 2 has a god dam amazing soundtrack. Certainly on par with the series’ previous. No Lord of Cinder, but Vendrick and Nashandra in particular have some really really stirring themes. Ooops, spoilers.

  13. BoltVanderhuge says:

    What a horrible trailer to promote a game. This is the games best foot being put forward? Drinking coffee with creepy Nazi’s while pointing at flowers?

    • pilouuuu says:

      Yes, why didn’t they make a trailer showing pre-rendered CGI and dubstep music? And where are the explosions?!? Outrageous!

    • Skabooga says:

      So, you’re saying we shouldn’t have expected pointing out flowers to womenz?

  14. pilouuuu says:

    This game is a pure-blood (pun intended) FPS game, and it has:

    – german people speaking German
    – robots!
    – coffee
    – interesting evil characters
    – decisions deeper than in Bioshock Infinite and probably with different outcomes

    What’s not to be liked about it?
    It makes me hopeful about Doom 4.

  15. Strangeblades says:

    How wide is this freakin’ train if ED-209’s grandfather can stroll comfortably down the middle?!

  16. faelnor says:

    I did not see that pun coming.

  17. db1331 says:

    Passing on this. Nazi games take me out of mein kampfort zone.

    • CookPassBabtridge says:

      Thats what I was Goerring to say

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      cpt_freakout says:

      Surely there’s a better Final Solution to your problem?

    • Kollega says:

      Please, stop with the puns… please. I simply can’t go any fuhrer.

    • Spidy09 says:

      but you gotta admit, the voice achtung is pretty good.

    • The Random One says:

      Maybe you just didn’t like Krieg Pearson’s writing.

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      SuddenSight says:

      I dunno. It’s not really schnelling me on the dialog.

    • Nixitur says:

      Nice pun. Nazi Germany heß always been a great source for wordplay.

    • Zenicetus says:

      If there had been more silverware on the table, he could have just stuka knife in them, then sneak around and send that robot to the junkers.

    • Geebs says:

      Way to mengele the German language

    • Spacewalk says:

      I disagree, it looks like it’s made of the reich stuff.

  18. BreadBitten says:

    Man, the facial animation looks scary good!

  19. Kollega says:

    And the lesson here is… Nazis have a terrible, terrible sense of humor. Deeply terrible. Disturbingly terrible. Outrageously terrible. Terribly terrible.

    Which is kind of odd, considering that Germans on the whole are actually quite capable of making decent jokes. I guess evil DOES have a bad sense of humor after all.

    • Shadowcat says:

      Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas assaulted… peanut.

      • Nixitur says:

        Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

        • Arthur Jackson says:

          I’m off to Babelfish to get that translated. I’ll let you know what I thought in a minute or two…

    • Spacewalk says:

      It’s a bit like that joke, how many stand up comedians will you find in Iraq? 1, which is 2 more than Germany. For which the Germans reply “Vhat, zat should not be possible…”

  20. mr.ioes says:

    Please replace the video with this one here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd21NGyFz30 so non-american peasants can watch it as well.

    edit: I’ve seen this video months ago ?!

    • der_Zens0r says:

      Thanks for the link. Yeah, I´m sure this video was posted here month ago. It´s nice to hear proper german in an english game.

  21. benzoate says:

    That’s one large train – I’d say at least double the width of our regular non-fascist trains. Also, going by the camera shake, the pet robot should have derailed this uber-train a long time ago.

    Will be a Hot-nazi-coffee mod for this? Can you imagine the moral outrage!

  22. Premium User Badge

    heretic says:

    eye
    butterfly
    spider

    think should be the right cards to choose, no?

    • DatonKallandor says:

      Eye (blue aryan eyes), flower (which I think is one of those http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gentiana_frigida the nazis used in their aryan propaganda a lot) and Evil Nazi Lady knows what the right choice for the last one is.

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        Jackablade says:

        That doesn’t look anything like the one in the video. It’s shaped more like (though isn’t) a daisy.

        The swallowtail butterfly is from the USA. Maybe that’d have some impact.

      • ChaseGunman says:

        Looked a bit like an Edelweiss to me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leontopodium_alpinum.

        And skulls are a symbol of the SS, so spider is probably the correct answer for the last one.

    • Golden Pantaloons says:

      You’re putting an awful lot of trust in the internal logic of a gun-wielding maniac’s home-made card game…