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If Wheatley Had Won: Portal 2 VGA Vid

Well done, Wheatley, you mad idiot.

Earlier this month, Valve made a video of Wheatley talking about his nomination in the ‘Best Character’ category of the VGAs. The Joker actually took the award, which seemed disappointing at first, since he’s a decades old character who even in this incarnation is appearing in a sequel, while Wheatley is quite the original. Then I noticed that the other two entrants were Nathan Drake and Marcus Fenix, appearing in the third games of their respective trilogies. The awards mean diddly squat, but I was a little disappointed about Wheatley missing out because it meant we all missed out an an acceptance speech. No more! Here’s what he would have said.

Rather delightful, I must say. We should probably senselessly pick it apart for clues, eh? The most obvious thing is “maybe next year” at the end, but I refuse to believe Wheatley will be featuring in another game next year, unless he starts making odd little cameos. Chances are it’s just supposed to be funny. And the serious scrutiny that the internet will inevitably apply to it probably makes it all the funnier to the teases wot made it.

But if you do manage to decode the content in such a way that it clearly signifies the coming of Left 4 Dead 3, do let me know.

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Adam Smith

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