Mount Your Friends 3D is coming, avert your eyes!

Mount Your Friends 3D

The world’s premiere Simulated Sportslike Experience is returning, and this time it’s invading the third dimension. Marvel at preposterously pendulous dude-noodle once more, and navigate a heaving pile of beefy men to claim your throne atop the time-honored Mounting Goat.

Yep, it’s silly, wobbly, physics-driven multiplayer favourite Mount Your Friends again, and now with an extra dimension, and an even more amazing name, if you factor in the subtitle of ‘A Hard Man is Good to Climb’.

The original Mount Your Friends was a particularly slippery refugee from the much-maligned Xbox Live Indie Games service. Originally designed so that a full multiplayer match would fit within Microsoft’s restrictive demo timer, it ended up being an ironic hit before people realised that there’s a surprising amount of depth and subtlety to its physics-driven weirdness. As such, it wasn’t a huge shock when the game made the muscle-bound leap to PC in 2014.

If you’re unfamiliar with this ridiculousness, it’s a quite simple concept: Two players take turns at climbing atop the Mounting Goat, using each button on the face of their gamepad to lock their grip in place with either hands or feet, allowing the wobbly muscle-men to ascend. The rules are simple; Before your turn timer elapses, you must finish as the highest point of the increasingly massive pillar of man-meat with one hand firmly gripping something hard, and with at least one body part thrust higher than anything on the prior turn.

If you meet all the criteria, then your man becomes rock hard, freezing him in place. Your opponent must find a way to climb higher still, taking turns until one of you falls short of the erection’s peak. From what we can see in the trailer above and screenshots on the Steam storefront for the game, the sequel looks to be more of the same, but in 3D, not entirely dissimilar to Bossa’s I Am Bread and likely offering the same mix of glistening multiplayer action and firm-bodied solo challenges to help you bone up on your man-manipulation skills.

While no firm release date has been set for the game yet, developers Stegersaurus Software hope to thrust the game into the Steam spotlight sometime in the first quarter of 2018.

22 Comments

Top comments

  1. Erinduck says:

    The devil doesn't need an advocate.
  1. Rich says:

    This game is revenge for all that boob physics, isn’t it?

    • Samudaya says:

      Jokes aside, this isn’t meant to sexually stimulate. It’s as much for straight guys as boob physics. It’s just fully intended to be comical. Schlongs of Skyrim, Shape Atlas for Men, those are the male equivalent of boob physics.

  2. Samudaya says:

    Did the podcast not just mention something about no nipples on RPS?

  3. Freud says:

    Ha ha! Dangly parts.

  4. FurryLippedSquid says:

    A game of dangling meat flaps probably wouldn’t go down well in today’s climate so I wonder how this can. What’s good for the gander is good for the goose, or not?

    PS. I’m playing Devil’s advocate for debate.

    • Erinduck says:

      The devil doesn’t need an advocate.

    • Static says:

      I dunno, I bet this game be just fine if it were buff ladies with cameltoes. Given that it’s steam, if they allow workshop stuff, you might just see a genderswap mod.

    • noom says:

      There’s an interesting discussion about context here, sure. Compare and contrast this to the furore over PUBG’s recent “cameltoe” model changes. Maybe we all just find penises more inherently amusing the vulvas?

    • April March says:

      What’s good for the gander is good for the goose, or not?

      Not if the gander has been target by centuries of slow-burn oppression that a surprising amount of geese aren’t even aware exists. Equality is not treating everyone equally, it’s treating everyone unequally to the extent they are unequal. (Or: a person a wheelchair might need elevator access. If you can walk, you do not need it.)

      But on point, if this game had giant woozy breasts (and the same premise) I’d say it was a hilarious parody and stand by it unless the devs spat on a nun or something.

      I’m actually more concerned that it might be banned from Steam because someone, somewhere might decide that 3D pendulous schlongs are porny in a way that 2D pendulous schlongs are not.

  5. TheAngriestHobo says:

    I expected the competition in this genre to get stiffer, but it kind of petered out.

  6. Premium User Badge

    Phasma Felis says:

    Pendulous Dude Noodle is my new band name.

  7. virtual.light says:

    I really do not understand RPS lately, there’s amazing games out there recently announced and you give the spotlight to this generic asset flip?

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