Steam Charts: Pre-Congeal Edition

As the charting games on Steam once more congeal into a single amorphous lump, quickly dive in to catch the last appearance of Subnautica, and probably Slay The Spire too. Next week it’ll just be GTA: Counter-Strike – Witcher Battlegrounds.

10. Subnautica

I knew I’d break the spell of Subnautica by finishing the story. There’s still so much for me to discovery in that watery acre of planet, but after weeks of being utterly bewitched, I made the narrative mistake of escape. It’s so hard to go back once you’ve achieved a key aim.

But goodness me, if you haven’t played Subnautica yet, you’re missing out on what manages to be one of the best games of 2018 before the year has barely started.

9. Slay The Spire

My problem is I can never remember the difference, and keep slaying the steeple.

See, there’s a joke that sounds like it works. That whole “church with a spire”/”church with a steeple” thing. But it turns out that’s nonsense! Steeples are the structure on which a spire stands. It’s “church with a tower/church with a steeple” on OS maps, you see. (Yes, Brian, we know YOU already knew that.)

Also, please stop slaying spires as it will affect my mobile signal.

8. Human: Fall Flat

A big half price drop in the little Steam sale seems to have propelled this back into the charts, after its extraordinary success this January.

I said I’d find out why, and so I did, speaking to the game’s developer Tomas Sakalauskas. It seems a combination of popularity in China, a good deal of luck, and an inclusion in a Humble Bundle. And the success seems to continue for this one-man team and his two year old game.

7. Dynasty Warriors 9 真・三國無双8

Being an investigative journalist of the highest calibre, I decided to translate the full given name for this game on Steam. It translates to: DYNASTY WARRIORS 9 Dynasty Warriors 8. For a series criticised for always being far too repetitive, that’s a little on the nose.

After much complaints about the lack of differences between 7 and 8, 9 elaborated itself with a legally required open world and new combat system. It is currently sporting an “Overwhelmingly negative” review rating on Steam, seemingly for being, er, far too similar to previous games, only with a more annoying combat system.

6. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

Of course, the interesting thing about CSGO charting every week issszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

5. Sid Meier’s Civilization VI: Rise And Fall

Following trends, the latest installment of Sid Meier’s legendary series has gone open world.

I’m very tired.

Adam has concerns about it.

4. Grand Theft Auto V

Phew, after a week out of the charts to let The Witcher 3 have another turn, GTAV is back. So once more we can ask:

What’s Another Thing You Could Buy Instead Of GTA V Again?

This Plusheenicorn adult sleep suit.

2 & 3. Kingdom Come: Deliverance

Released to a quiet reception, this uncontroversial little indie project has managed to pick up both the second and third spots on the charts today.

If we can say anything about it, it’s bringing all of gaming together into one harmonious group, and there’s absolutely no need to leave 387 comments about it below this article.

1. Plunkbat

Mono remains the best live gig I’ve ever been to. At the Bristol Fleece, the three piece band created more sound than exists in the world. It was mind-shattering and extraordinary. Here’s a track they performed that night, except here with an entire orchestra.

The Steam Charts are compiled via Steam’s internal charts of the highest grossing games on Steam over the previous week.


  1. Da5e says:

    Did you catch Mono on the co-headline tour with Alcest, John? That was a bit good. They were incredible when I saw them in Leicester Cathedral, too.

    Saw Amenra the other night, might be worth looking into if you can handle your post-rock a little more angry.

    • Premium User Badge

      Arnvidr says:

      I saw that tour with Alcest, Mono was absolutely crushing it.

  2. Vacuity729 says:

    Mono are genuinely amazing; last time I watched them live, I ended up crying my way through half the gig.
    Hymn to the Immortal Wind is probably my favourite of their albums. Such bliss…

  3. subactuality says:

    “Music for the Gods” is the best and most accurate description of Mono I’ve ever heard, they’re amazing.

  4. Cederic says:

    Perhaps I can kick off the site-enriching post-fest by suggesting that people shouldn’t buy the clearly racist game that appears designed to exclude people that aren’t white.

    As someone whose skin is lemon-chiffon I feel horribly under represented by Human:Fall Flat.

    • DeepSleeper says:

      Good news then, you can recolor the Human that falls flat as you like in the customization suite.

      • Cederic says:

        Bah, you spoil all my fun. However RPS do have my permission to use a screenshot I’ve created when referencing the game, to help others understand the inherent possibilities:
        link to

    • Comintern1919 says:

      Then I follow up your beginning by saying that neither is Daniel Vavra, the Dev, a racist, nor is the game Racist.

      1. The likelihood to encounter a Black Person in the Medieval Bohemian Countryside is almost Zero. Not impossible, but so low that not including it shouldn’t be a controversy. Stop thinking of Europe as one country. What may be common in Southern Europe may be totally unknown or strange in Northern Europe.

      The only evidence I’ve seen being used in favor of arguing there were many black people in Central Medieval Europe, like the one used by that Medieval POC Blog, are paintings and other art creations made after the Middle Ages. Art itself is not a very good historical evidence for anything, and especially not art made outside the time period.

      2. It’s a central European game set in central Europe made by central European devs. Face it, Black People are not common in that part, neither in the past, nor now. We simply don’t have that connection with Black People as Americans have. Many European will not even see any Black People. So why should we have to have Black People in everything we make? And if we don’t, it’s Racist? Stop trying to push your American-Centric views and issues on us.

      • Someoldguy says:

        It all depends how far back you go…
        link to

      • Sarfrin says:

        Congratulations! You’ve posted a long, albeit probably copy-pasted, defence of a game that the original comment was not about.

      • Chillicothe says:

        No one respects this copy-pasting of info op red herrings nor its true motive.

        Wolvenworks: it actually LAUNCHED with full Chinese but it was taken away in a patch due to some PS4 exclusivity thing? I think? So yah, this time they’re very much in the right to complain, especially with the bad world-of-mouth about the game from series fans. Why it’s in the top 10 despite that is a question though.

  5. wolvenworks says:

    to clarify, most of the negative reviews in DW9 comes from really butthurt Chinese fans upset that they can’t get their hands on the promoted Chinese dubs, when in fact it IS in the game, just weirdly not available in the ingame settings. heard that you have to mess with the game files itself to turn it on, but I DO know that it works, and it sounds glorious (thank you youtube).

    aside from that, the game does have a bunch of game-breaking bugs, but the combat is totally different compared to DW8. in fact, people complain about the AI being “Brain dead” more than “combat system is too similar to DW8”, on which i have to agree that the AI seems too scared, even for Normal.

  6. Premium User Badge

    phuzz says:

    The Fleece in Bristol is possibly my favourite ever venue.

  7. ChrisGWaine says:

    真・三國無双 translates as Dynasty Warriors in the same way that Biohazard translates as Resident Evil.

    • napoleonic says:

      Character by character, Google Translate renders it as “True: Three-Countries No-Double”, which Wikipedia glosses as “True: Three Kingdoms Unrivalled”. But if you just stick the whole thing into Google Translate, which I guess is what John did, it spits out “Dynasty Warriors”. Seems weird not to mention the Three Kingdoms in the English name, given that it’s a spin-off of Romance of the Three Kingdoms.