Ark: Survival Evolved [official site] has been gradually adding animals specifically designed to appeal to RPS writers. First the Tusoteuthis vampyrus romanced Pip, then Alice doted upon the armadillo you can travel inside. That means that it's my turn now to tell you about the latest addition.
It's a monkey who can throw poop.
Ark has a button that allows you to poop on command, so it's not clear whether the monkey's projectiles are their own or yours. But the messy mesopithecus does more than dirty protest: you can also toss them over enemy walls [the monkey, I think he means, not poos, although... -ed.], have them open small locked doors from the inside, or carry them around on your shoulder while they wear a dashing hat.
The same update also added smoke grenades to the game, which when combined with the monkey's poop-turret ability are designed to expand the options for assaulting and defending your bases in PvP. Those systems have been a problem for a while, particularly since your body remains present and vulnerable in the world when you log off. Perhaps your monkey pal can protect you.
Meanwhile, the final match in Ark's Survival of the Fittest tournament will happen later today at 2pm EST/7pm BST. Survival of the Fittest is inspired by the Battle Royale modes now popular for DayZ and H1Z1, in which teams fight one another to be the last standing at the end of the match. In Ark's case, this means twisting the normal survival and crafting mechanics of the game to be quicker and forcing players into the same locations through loot drops and "extinction events". The winning players of the 144 competing in the final will receive $20,000 and the stream should be on Twitch when it goes live.