I confess, the Truck Simulator thing has passed me by. I know they must be great, because my colleagues are so delighted by them, but having suffered early on in the onslaught of silver bold, italicised simulator titles, I struggle to believe. Alice already donned her straw hat, straw dungarees and straw hanging out of the side of her maw to tell us about Farming Simulator 17 today, and now we receive news of Bus Simulator 16's [official site] new trailer. And I can't help but wonder, is it all a weird joke?
I mean, when I play driving games the very first thing I try to do is plough into the crowds, or drive off a cliff. Given Bus Simulator, where the very purpose of the game is to drive sensibly, efficiently and politely, all I can ever imagine doing is finding out how much naughtiness the developers allowed for.
I'm not the only one, at least there's that. The first comment under the new trailer reads, "Can you kill people?" I like to assume this person isn't simultaneously filling in his application for a job as a bus driver and checking the game for accuracy, but I understand the question. Because good lord, that guy was counting out change. You have to count out change?!
It also strikes me as a little under-ambitious - "6 realistic buses". I'm pretty sure one bus is enough like another when it comes to simulating the driving, so surely it wouldn't take a vast amount more effort to have thrown in a dozen or so different designs? Maybe some classic buses, or FUTURE BUSES? And I'm not saying this is the game's fault, and I'm not claiming to admire myself for this thought, but I know if I played this I'd find out what happens if you drive off while the lady on the wheelchair is only half on.
The game will be out in less than two weeks, 2nd March, at around £19. So explain to me, because I know I'm wrong - what's the appeal here? What's the desire to play something that requires so much self-control and composure? I know Graham gets it, he's excited to play this. But apparently for me, it just reveals an inner sociopath.